Anonymous wrote:I think 8 years old is too old. I think it's time you started teaching him about being safe in the locker room and letting him gain some independence. I know my dd is 6, and I have already told my dh that he should let her use the women's bathroom on her own when she has to go potty and not always bring her in the men's room. The context for that is at our small private pool, I think this is safe. I wouldn't necessarily do it at a road side stop or anything. But anyway, having your child learn small ways to be independent is necessary so they can ultimately be safe on their own.

Thank you for your well intentioned advice. I will take it into consideration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 and 12 is TOO OLD for your daughters to be okay with boys seeing them naked. They should have an innate sense of modesty that extends to their brothers. Sorry- that is even creepier than any of the other weirdness going on.

It's not BOYS. It's one boy, who happens to be their little brother, who is still several years away from reaching puberty. They dress quite modestly around all other males, and their never nude around their father since he is an ADULT of the opposite sex. Like I said, in the not too distant past they were even choosing to take their little brother into the shower or bathtub with them every once in a while. It's nothing that he hasn't seen before. Things will change in another year or two.

The people complaining about this are probably the same immature ones that refused to take a shower in gym class in school, and then were teased for it?

And you understand that the locker room is not your home and the other girls/women are not your son's family, correct? I would most certainly report you if you were in my pool's locker room.

My son is 8, not 18.

Like I said, the overwhelming majority of the women and girls in the locker room seem to be perfectly comfortable with a little boy being in there. I've never seen one person seem to be more than at most mildly uncomfortable while they're showering with my son in there, and even those people seem to be very few in numbers.

If it doesn't bother those women and girls, why should it bother those of you that are probably not even in the same locker room as my son???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Russian immigrant here. I haven't read the whole thread, but I just wanted to say that I would feel uncomfortable if a 5 y.o. stared at me in the changing room. I understand the problem though. Too bad there is no family changing room.

Why is this relevant?

See the 1st post by OP. She doesn't know if this makes Russian and Asian immigrants uncomfortable. No biggies.

I think 8 years old is too old. I think it's time you started teaching him about being safe in the locker room and letting him gain some independence. I know my dd is 6, and I have already told my dh that he should let her use the women's bathroom on her own when she has to go potty and not always bring her in the men's room. The context for that is at our small private pool, I think this is safe. I wouldn't necessarily do it at a road side stop or anything. But anyway, having your child learn small ways to be independent is necessary so they can ultimately be safe on their own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 and 12 is TOO OLD for your daughters to be okay with boys seeing them naked. They should have an innate sense of modesty that extends to their brothers. Sorry- that is even creepier than any of the other weirdness going on.

It's not BOYS. It's one boy, who happens to be their little brother, who is still several years away from reaching puberty. They dress quite modestly around all other males, and their never nude around their father since he is an ADULT of the opposite sex. Like I said, in the not too distant past they were even choosing to take their little brother into the shower or bathtub with them every once in a while. It's nothing that he hasn't seen before. Things will change in another year or two.

The people complaining about this are probably the same immature ones that refused to take a shower in gym class in school, and then were teased for it?

And you understand that the locker room is not your home and the other girls/women are not your son's family, correct? I would most certainly report you if you were in my pool's locker room.

Anonymous wrote:15 and 12 is TOO OLD for your daughters to be okay with boys seeing them naked. They should have an innate sense of modesty that extends to their brothers. Sorry- that is even creepier than any of the other weirdness going on.

It's not BOYS. It's one boy, who happens to be their little brother, who is still several years away from reaching puberty. They dress quite modestly around all other males, and their never nude around their father since he is an ADULT of the opposite sex. Like I said, in the not too distant past they were even choosing to take their little brother into the shower or bathtub with them every once in a while. It's nothing that he hasn't seen before. Things will change in another year or two.

The people complaining about this are probably the same immature ones that refused to take a shower in gym class in school, and then were teased for it?

Anonymous wrote:Russian immigrant here. I haven't read the whole thread, but I just wanted to say that I would feel uncomfortable if a 5 y.o. stared at me in the changing room. I understand the problem though. Too bad there is no family changing room.

Why is this relevant?

Russian immigrant here. I haven't read the whole thread, but I just wanted to say that I would feel uncomfortable if a 5 y.o. stared at me in the changing room. I understand the problem though. Too bad there is no family changing room.

15 and 12 is TOO OLD for your daughters to be okay with boys seeing them naked. They should have an innate sense of modesty that extends to their brothers. Sorry- that is even creepier than any of the other weirdness going on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a problem with boys five and under in the ladies changing/bathroom at the pool, but once they are over five, they're too old to be in the changing room with my daughter.

We have a rule at the pool and if the PP brought her 8 year old into the showers, I'd complain to the attendants to enforce that rule. Eight is way too old to be in the room where my five year old changes.

I'm the person that posted a few posts above yours about taking my 8 year old son into the women's locker room with my daughters and myself.

I understand that some people are not thrilled with an 8 year old boy being in the women's locker room. I'm certainly NOT trying to offend anyone!

But to be honest, I would much rather someone be momentarily embarrassed about a little boy seeing them nude than for my son to be molested in the men's locker room.

I have told my son not to stare at nude people while he's in there with us, and to be completely honest, he doesn't. While he is showering off he just talks to his sisters and myself. He's probably at least 3 to 4 years off from puberty. And I plan on having him use the men's locker room in a couple of years.

If your fear is molestation (which is pretty unlikely if he's going through a crowded room quickly), how is that going to change in a couple of years? I ask this as the mother of three boys, 6, 9, and 13.

Anonymous wrote:He is too old. Can you have a staff person walk him through the men's room?

I will consider looking into that in the near future. Good suggestion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
An 8 year old boy is MUCH too old to be in a women's locker room where all the patrons are required to take a public nude soap shower, a 10 year old even more so. I would complain, loudly, to management, and probably say something angry to your face if it were a 10 year old. If you don't like/agree with the rules, fine--don't patronize that facility. But if you do, you need to abide by the rules.

Not to mention how awkward and weird this would actually be for a 10 yo boy (or 8 yo boy for that matter)...

I mean, really? Your 8 yo is fine with seeing all his friends happily use the boys locker room (which is consistent with what he does at school), but when he is with mommy he needs to use the girls' locker room?

How pathetic.

My son has never asked to be able to use the men's locker room. I doubt that he would be very happy with being made to go into the men's locker room alone.

To the best of my recollection, I don't recall having ever seen one of my son's male friends at the pool.
The only thing that would have been awkward for my son about using the women's locker room is if I were to make him take the pre-swim shower in the nude, or make him change out in the open. But I let him go into a toilet stall to change into his swimsuit, and he showers off in the swimsuit. After his swims he goes back into the toilet stall to change back into his regular clothing.

I'll tell you what I think is weird - that your son is dressed (in his bathing suit) around all these naked women. I'm not trying to be snarky, but how do you justify in your head that your daughters have to be naked in front of their brother, but your son doesn't have to be naked in front of his sisters. It's sending the message that your son's privacy is more important than your daughters' privacy. And you keep saying it's awkward for your son to be in the nude around the females, but never one word about how awkward it is for your daughters to be nude around a male. there's something odd about that to me.

And again, I'm really not trying to be snarky - I don't think I would have even posted on this thread if you treated all your kids' privacy the same (all take nude showers or none take nude showers) but still wanted your son to stay with you - that part I can understand - but what's with this double standard?

I appreciate what you're saying. And I appreciate your concern for my daughters! Thank you for that!

But the thing is that I do not MAKE my daughters take nude showers. I agree that it would be wrong to MAKE my daughters take nude showers in front of their brother while allowing my son to not be nude in front of his sisters.

However, my daughters are not bothered by showering in the nude while there brother is in there. The very first day that we went to the pool, I told my daughters that they could do the same thing as my son, change in a toilet stall, and then rinse off in their swimsuits. They said that they didn't feel any need to do that. So they do the same routine as I and all of the others in the locker room. They are both used to showering around other females from their school sports teams and gym class, anyway.

My daughters are 15 and 12 years old, they're big-sisters. They have in the past chosen to take their little brother into the shower or bathtub at home, and I guess they feel that it's nothing that he hasn't seen before? I would imagine that they will feel differently about that in a couple of years when their little brother isn't so little anymore? Either way, I will tell them to be more conservative around their brother in another couple of years, before puberty kicks in.

I do appreciate people making what they consider to be helpful suggestions without insulting me, I wish everyone would be kind with their suggestions and not get personal. I'm just a mother trying to be the best parent that I can be!

He is too old. Can you have a staff person walk him through the men's room?

Anonymous wrote:Eight years old is too old. If you are worried about the men's changing room, have the whole family change at home before you leave and change at home after you get back. I would complain to management but not to you because I would not want to embarrass the boy any further.

I would have my son put on his swimsuit at home before going to the pool. Except that the only way to the pool is to go through one of the locker rooms, and there is a rule about showering before entering the pool. So my son puts on his swimsuit in the toilet stall, and then rinses off in the showers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
An 8 year old boy is MUCH too old to be in a women's locker room where all the patrons are required to take a public nude soap shower, a 10 year old even more so. I would complain, loudly, to management, and probably say something angry to your face if it were a 10 year old. If you don't like/agree with the rules, fine--don't patronize that facility. But if you do, you need to abide by the rules.

Not to mention how awkward and weird this would actually be for a 10 yo boy (or 8 yo boy for that matter)...

I mean, really? Your 8 yo is fine with seeing all his friends happily use the boys locker room (which is consistent with what he does at school), but when he is with mommy he needs to use the girls' locker room?

How pathetic.

My son has never asked to be able to use the men's locker room. I doubt that he would be very happy with being made to go into the men's locker room alone.

To the best of my recollection, I don't recall having ever seen one of my son's male friends at the pool.
The only thing that would have been awkward for my son about using the women's locker room is if I were to make him take the pre-swim shower in the nude, or make him change out in the open. But I let him go into a toilet stall to change into his swimsuit, and he showers off in the swimsuit. After his swims he goes back into the toilet stall to change back into his regular clothing.

I'll tell you what I think is weird - that your son is dressed (in his bathing suit) around all these naked women. I'm not trying to be snarky, but how do you justify in your head that your daughters have to be naked in front of their brother, but your son doesn't have to be naked in front of his sisters. It's sending the message that your son's privacy is more important than your daughters' privacy. And you keep saying it's awkward for your son to be in the nude around the females, but never one word about how awkward it is for your daughters to be nude around a male. there's something odd about that to me.

And again, I'm really not trying to be snarky - I don't think I would have even posted on this thread if you treated all your kids' privacy the same (all take nude showers or none take nude showers) but still wanted your son to stay with you - that part I can understand - but what's with this double standard?