Anonymous wrote:OP here. I saw my old thread revived a month ago and wanted to give an update to anyone who is interested.

I had some health problems and DH was there by my side at the hospital. My parents required assistance and DH stepped up. I have grown up and now realize that marriage is not all passion and excitement. It was childish of me to think that our love had faded. I can't remember all the details I shared on this thread but DH is physically attractive, smart and very successful. Best of all, DH is a fabulous hands on father. My kids adore him and I am glad that I stayed for the sake of our children.

Sleep deprivation made me into a total bitch. I essentially had not slept well for about 5 years. Now that I am getting a good night sleep most nights, I am a new person. The boys now play together and I no longer have to spend every waking minute catering to them. DH did acknowledge that he had no time to focus on me after working FT and being a dad. I have accepted this and am fine with it. We have much better communication.

As others have advised on this thread, the first years of parenthood are tough but I now feel closer to DH than ever. I'm still not that attracted to him but I at least like him as a friend. I used to be so irritated him by every move that he made. Our children mean everything to us and I would not trade our family for a potential spark that would eventually fade. I am assuming the way I felt for the past few years is why many people probably have affairs. I am glad I did not and kept our family in tact.

Anonymous wrote:To the poster upthread who asked why a woman would leave a good provider, etc. just because she didn't feel love, here's the thing: Most of us women no longer marry because we need "three hots and a cot." I am more than capable of buying my own house, paying my own mortgage, supporting my kids. The idea that any guy in this day and age would say that that's all he needs to bring to the table is ridiculous. Why don't you think about what your value added is? What else are you bringing to the table that perhaps I can't provide for myself? It might be kind words, a helping hand, emotional support. Just like a guy feels like he's just a paycheck and it's not enough and that's why he's outta there, a lot of women ask themselves, "Is this really all there is?" Yes, when the economy changed and women became more empowered, it meant that men now have to up their game. You're going to have to work a little harder now. Just paying the bills is no longer enough.

Anonymous wrote:My soon to be ex DW told our young kids tonite that mommy and daddy are getting divorced. DW is another one these women looking for the elusive holy grail of happiness that must be with someone else. For her to be happy she must crap on as many people as possible. I mean is there some virus that turns once thoughtful caring females into self absorbed narsicists ?

It's been over a year and we probably had sex less than 5 times[code]

LOL, I'd be happy as punch with sex that often. That's more often annually than probably 20 yrs of my marriage. It does give me more thought about what has been going on though. I thought she loved me all this time. Your post now makes me feel that she doesn't and that would explain the lack of sex ......................................