Anonymous wrote:Why do so many come across as unpleasant? Yes, we all have bad days but generally speaking, I don't encounter very many pleasant expressions. Conversely, my showing courteousness has been perceived as being phony. What gives?

OP Here

Why do so many come across as unpleasant? Yes, we all have bad days but generally speaking, I don't encounter very many pleasant expressions. Conversely, my showing courteousness has been perceived as being phony. What gives?

Anonymous wrote:Are AA's more fearful to try new things in general?

As a black woman, who is very adventurous and always up for something new, my first thought was "what a silly generalization."
But then the question reminded me of my Italian American SIL and other Italian American friends and how I often think of them as overly anxious and fearful of new thing. So I guess I am guilty of generalizing as well.

"Money is not a driving force in my life. As long as my daily needs are taken care of, I don't have this overall obsession with getting "more". I equate high-powered positions with less time with my family and I am not interested in that trade-off. "

My question is why this attitude is more pervasive in AA culture than in "white" culture. I grew up solidly middle class, but am very ambitious and am now upper middle class as a white female.

Are AA's more fearful to try new things in general?

Anonymous wrote:"The black people that I know (and I'm among them) aren't looking to aggressively climb the corporate ladder."

Yes, this is my question. Stability and comfort mean not ambitious.

Also, do you perceive AAs as moving more slowly in daily life?

Not necessarily. It depends on what brings you happiness. Becoming a Big Law lawyer and/or executive is not what moves me. If I can find something that I love to do and I make decent money ($70k or so), I'm happy. Money is not a driving force in my life. As long as my daily needs are taken care of, I don't have this overall obsession with getting "more". I equate high-powered positions with less time with my family and I am not interested in that trade-off.

re: moving more slowly...perhaps. I move at a good pace and have a quick mind. But, I do find that some white people always look like they're in a hurry to get somewhere. I walked to the Metro once with a white coworker and I felt like we were in a speed-walking competition! Unless I'm in a rush to get somewhere, you won't find me quick-stepping.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't more AA take advantage of all the free cultural events that take place here in DC?

Why don't we see more AA on the hiking trails in the area?

"Free cultural events" have to be in line with my interests. If not, why will I take advantage of it?

personally? I love love love hiking. But if I dare speak for other AAs, it's probably because they don't like to hike. It's not racial, it's personal.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't more AA take advantage of all the free cultural events that take place here in DC?

Why don't we see more AA on the hiking trails in the area?

LOL...Don't know why, but I'm not into museums (unless it explores AA history). Not into art either. I will go to a museum, but outside of a few exhibits, I find them boring.

Don't like camping or hiking AT ALL. Afraid of an encounter with a wild animal and while I enjoy nature, I prefer to sit back and see it vs hiking through it. I am a bit terrified of the thought of sitting outside in the dark in a wooded area.

"The black people that I know (and I'm among them) aren't looking to aggressively climb the corporate ladder."

Yes, this is my question. Stability and comfort mean not ambitious.

Also, do you perceive AAs as moving more slowly in daily life?

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think white people perceive AAs as a less ambitious race?

Probably because the percentage of high achieving AAs is low compared to whites. What white people don't realize though is that it's quite easy to be high achieving when you are equipped with the means to do so. You'd be hard pressed to find an accomplished white person who didn't grow up in the middle to upper class. Sure, not all white people grew up rich and comfortable, but many many more of them did compared to blacks.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think white people perceive AAs as a less ambitious race?

Stereotypes dating back to slavery really. Blacks have always been perceived as the "physical" race. I do think that many white people believe that blacks aren't as smart. It doesn't help that many poor black kids don't value an education so that stereotype is reinforced. It also doesn't help that when blacks do well, maybe consider them an anomaly or the beneficiary of affirmative action.

It also depends on how you define "ambitious". The black people that I know (and I'm among them) aren't looking to aggressively climb the corporate ladder. Instead, stability and comfort are the goals. For me at least, family is extremely important.

-AA female

Anonymous wrote:I hope i dont offend, but i have always been curious about these questions. I've asked friends, but still wonder if I'm getting the "political" answer, so since this is anonymous and you offered to answer anything, here goes:


Do you secretly think all white people are racist?
Do you hold a grudge because of slavery and/or history?
Do you think America owes you and all other black citizens something in this day and age?

NP, AA female.

1. I think all people have prejudices. I don't think all WP are racist (for example, my husband).
2. Don't hold a grudge about slavery, all the participants are dead. I never knew of anyone who personally owned slaves, if I did, I would have a grudge against them, not everyone who looked like them.
3. I think American owes EVERYONE a true chance to pursue, for lack of time, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That doesn't always happen, even now. As far as 40 acres and a mule goes, "America" lied, but what are you going to do? I don't dwell on that.

Why don't more AA take advantage of all the free cultural events that take place here in DC?

Why don't we see more AA on the hiking trails in the area?

Why do you think white people perceive AAs as a less ambitious race?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for AA women, what reasons do you find cause you to dislike other AA women? do you find it harder or easier to become friends with other AA females?

I don't like loud, aggressive, obnoxious people, and in my experience, you find these kind of people in ALL races not just AA. I don't find it any easier or harder to become friends with other AA females, the bottom line is always do we "get" each other and the fact that you are AA doesn't always make this so.

I'm just the opposite (sort of). I *love* being around loud people. It's unfortunate that being loud and boisterous is often confused with being "ghetto". FWIW, I'm not loud in settings that require muted tones (restaurants (unless it's a loud place or a bar), Metro, etc).