Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

Uhhhh…no. I have one kid in DCPS and one in private. We always planned for our kids to both go to private for middle / high school but our oldest wanted to stay at Deale and then JR due to friend group / sports. There’s a lot to love about private, but the smart kids at JR are as smart as (some definitely smarter) than the kids at private. Also scrappier, better at self advocating, and less entitled.

So hate to break it to you, - your incredibly brilliant 3 year old at a private preschool would probably be just as brilliant in DCPS.

Yes - smart, conscientious kids can do well at a solid publics in ways that truly narrow — if not eliminate — any delta with private schools, at least in terms of academics. Of course, not all have by-right/easy access to solid public schools!

Private schools have the advantage that they can counsel kids out that aren't doing well. So yeah, the kids that they keep do better, but there is really no way to tell if it is because the teaching and environment is truly more effective for learning or if they are just choosing the students that are easiest to teach.

The teaching and learning environment can be more “effective” if the student make-up is a generally easy lot, with more “difficult” students counseled out or, more likely, never admitted in the first place.

Yes, private school parents often choose private because they want to keep their kids away from the "bad" kids. And certainly there are public school environments that can be really bad for kids. But IME learning to be around kids with different needs and experiences is also really valuable.

Anonymous wrote:That makes no sense. I thought the whole point of hooked kids is that they don't necessarily have to fit the right mold because the hook (they have a sibling who attends or a parent who works at the school) is what gets them admitted.

In-demand private schools intentionally select for hooked kids to boost their own college admission stats. It's an easy win for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.

Just know that there are at least dozens of other high-achieving families that will be taking this exact approach and competing for the same spots as you.

Who cares? There are dozens and dozens of legacy kids competing for a handful of pre-k spots. If you’re applying for a spot in MS or HS it’s far more about academic potential than whether a parent went to the school and you can share during the play date.

And my point is simply that the "wait until MS or HS to switch from public to private" is not as easy as you claim. Also remember that your child, especially for 9th grade admission, will also be competing against those coming from K-8 privates that regularly place their top graduates into the most selective schools.

It is not easy. But based on our experience, it is not too hard either, unless your only focus is Sidwell Friends. All other schools are not that hard to get into from multiple entry points, 6th, 7th, 9th. DMV areas have many good schools. I can list at least 10 that will provide excellent education. There is no reason to go to NCRC or other equipment expensive pre-K-6.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes - we were at a Title 1 school through 5th grade, then switched to an “elite” private for middle/HS!

Of course, many families don’t want to touch public schools at all and aren’t confident their kids will be competitive admits in later years when an academic record actually matters.

In our experience, the home environment matters so much. Let them read books and expose them to curiosity-driven activities. Plus, academic records are only one aspect of how a child is doing. School is a social place. They need to find their own people. I think finding the right environment is the critical part, which includes both academic and social. The right environment build confidence and good habits and encourage the kids to their best. Whether that is private or public might depends on the kids.

That makes no sense. I thought the whole point of hooked kids is that they don't necessarily have to fit the right mold because the hook (they have a sibling who attends or a parent who works at the school) is what gets them admitted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

Uhhhh…no. I have one kid in DCPS and one in private. We always planned for our kids to both go to private for middle / high school but our oldest wanted to stay at Deale and then JR due to friend group / sports. There’s a lot to love about private, but the smart kids at JR are as smart as (some definitely smarter) than the kids at private. Also scrappier, better at self advocating, and less entitled.

So hate to break it to you, - your incredibly brilliant 3 year old at a private preschool would probably be just as brilliant in DCPS.

Yes - smart, conscientious kids can do well at a solid publics in ways that truly narrow — if not eliminate — any delta with private schools, at least in terms of academics. Of course, not all have by-right/easy access to solid public schools!

Private schools have the advantage that they can counsel kids out that aren't doing well. So yeah, the kids that they keep do better, but there is really no way to tell if it is because the teaching and environment is truly more effective for learning or if they are just choosing the students that are easiest to teach.

And they can also select from the start for hooked kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.

Just know that there are at least dozens of other high-achieving families that will be taking this exact approach and competing for the same spots as you.

Who cares? There are dozens and dozens of legacy kids competing for a handful of pre-k spots. If you’re applying for a spot in MS or HS it’s far more about academic potential than whether a parent went to the school and you can share during the play date.

And my point is simply that the "wait until MS or HS to switch from public to private" is not as easy as you claim. Also remember that your child, especially for 9th grade admission, will also be competing against those coming from K-8 privates that regularly place their top graduates into the most selective schools.

Anonymous wrote:Even “solid” public schools have issues that make them undesirable to some parents who can afford to pay to not deal with those issues. I’ll add that private schools in my city(not dc) have much more economic, ethnic, and racial diversity than our local public school— this may not be true anywhere.

If one is unhappy with private, there is an easy solution. Don’t enroll your kids for the next year.

We dealt with such public school issues until middle school, then went private. I wouldn’t change a thing, but certainly understand why other families would seek to avoid it altogether.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

Uhhhh…no. I have one kid in DCPS and one in private. We always planned for our kids to both go to private for middle / high school but our oldest wanted to stay at Deale and then JR due to friend group / sports. There’s a lot to love about private, but the smart kids at JR are as smart as (some definitely smarter) than the kids at private. Also scrappier, better at self advocating, and less entitled.

So hate to break it to you, - your incredibly brilliant 3 year old at a private preschool would probably be just as brilliant in DCPS.

Yes - smart, conscientious kids can do well at a solid publics in ways that truly narrow — if not eliminate — any delta with private schools, at least in terms of academics. Of course, not all have by-right/easy access to solid public schools!

Private schools have the advantage that they can counsel kids out that aren't doing well. So yeah, the kids that they keep do better, but there is really no way to tell if it is because the teaching and environment is truly more effective for learning or if they are just choosing the students that are easiest to teach.

The teaching and learning environment can be more “effective” if the student make-up is a generally easy lot, with more “difficult” students counseled out or, more likely, never admitted in the first place.

Even “solid” public schools have issues that make them undesirable to some parents who can afford to pay to not deal with those issues. I’ll add that private schools in my city(not dc) have much more economic, ethnic, and racial diversity than our local public school— this may not be true anywhere.

If one is unhappy with private, there is an easy solution. Don’t enroll your kids for the next year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

Uhhhh…no. I have one kid in DCPS and one in private. We always planned for our kids to both go to private for middle / high school but our oldest wanted to stay at Deale and then JR due to friend group / sports. There’s a lot to love about private, but the smart kids at JR are as smart as (some definitely smarter) than the kids at private. Also scrappier, better at self advocating, and less entitled.

So hate to break it to you, - your incredibly brilliant 3 year old at a private preschool would probably be just as brilliant in DCPS.

Yes - smart, conscientious kids can do well at a solid publics in ways that truly narrow — if not eliminate — any delta with private schools, at least in terms of academics. Of course, not all have by-right/easy access to solid public schools!

Private schools have the advantage that they can counsel kids out that aren't doing well. So yeah, the kids that they keep do better, but there is really no way to tell if it is because the teaching and environment is truly more effective for learning or if they are just choosing the students that are easiest to teach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People send their kids to private for all sorts of reasons. In my opinion, college admissions should be the smallest factor. If that’s your reason, it will likely not be worth it for you.

My main objective is getting high quality education. My only point is that college placement, something that is emphasized by schools as an indicator of quality of education, is extremely misleading by athletes and legacy admissions. In any case, I am not even thinking about what is going to happen 8 years down the road. I am concerned that my DC is not even learning the basics today.

Why can't your kid learn the basics? Do you spend any time working with DC?

Yes, it is supplemented outside school. They do not learn the basics at the 50k private school.

Sounds like your kid is unfocused and screwing around.

Not really. He scores perfectly in math, outside school. The thing is that math level at school is so low, it’s unbelievable. I would have preferred having good math education at the school.

So you have failed in your main objective of getting high quality education.

Why stay?

I would frame it differently. The school has failed in providing high quality education.

The school is doing exactly what these schools do. You failed to discern what that is. They are meeting their mission; you are not.

Their mission is not to teach math below the levels in Europe or Asia. That’s a failure from the school.

Their mission is to artfully curate a special, unique curriculum. If you want enforceable standards, go public.

I prefer a special unique curriculum like the ones in Europe or Asia. The curriculum in dc schools are not worth 60k.

I’m begging you, op, please update after a year in dc public schools.

Didn’t OP say “so far, so good”?

But then she’s pulling her kid?

Which is it?

Or is it fiction?

That expression was referring to the concept of searching for the best school for your kid. That in principle is a very positive goal. What I found in the process, not so good.

Keeping digging that hole, OP.

🥱

I mean, to get back to the original question at the top of thread.

Whether private school is worth it or not is dependent on how much money you have, how bad your alternatives are, and what you want to optimize for as a family.

If you have access to good public schools and the cost of private will cause stress / meaningful trade-offs, then no -- probably not worth it.

If your public school is terrible or your kid truly needs something that the public school can't offer -- then yeah, probably worth stretching the budget a bit to try private.

And if you have enough money that the $40-60K a year truly doesn't create any financial burden, then do whatever you want.

Truly, there's no perfect answer here -- it depends on what YOU and your family want to optimize for.

Our kids are in a DCPS charter and we always thought we would leave for a private sometime in early elementary. Now our kids are in 3rd and 5th.

Are there things about a private which would likely objectively be better than a charter? For sure. But our kids are super happy, have incredible friends, are learning a ton and getting support in school to advance quickly, and we have a very close group of school neighborhood friends.

When we took a step back as a family, we realized that whatever marginal 'benefits' we would get from a private weren't worth either the financial cost or the potential disruption of switching schools. That might change as the kids get older and we recognize that might mean the 'option' sets are smaller, but we're ok with that.

Other families might make a different choice than us, and that's ok!! You just need to be very clear about your family values, what trade-offs you are making, and what you are optimizing for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

Uhhhh…no. I have one kid in DCPS and one in private. We always planned for our kids to both go to private for middle / high school but our oldest wanted to stay at Deale and then JR due to friend group / sports. There’s a lot to love about private, but the smart kids at JR are as smart as (some definitely smarter) than the kids at private. Also scrappier, better at self advocating, and less entitled.

So hate to break it to you, - your incredibly brilliant 3 year old at a private preschool would probably be just as brilliant in DCPS.

Yes - smart, conscientious kids can do well at a solid publics in ways that truly narrow — if not eliminate — any delta with private schools, at least in terms of academics. Of course, not all have by-right/easy access to solid public schools!

Of course, not all have the money to access solid private schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People send their kids to private for all sorts of reasons. In my opinion, college admissions should be the smallest factor. If that’s your reason, it will likely not be worth it for you.

My main objective is getting high quality education. My only point is that college placement, something that is emphasized by schools as an indicator of quality of education, is extremely misleading by athletes and legacy admissions. In any case, I am not even thinking about what is going to happen 8 years down the road. I am concerned that my DC is not even learning the basics today.

Why can't your kid learn the basics? Do you spend any time working with DC?

Yes, it is supplemented outside school. They do not learn the basics at the 50k private school.

Sounds like your kid is unfocused and screwing around.

Not really. He scores perfectly in math, outside school. The thing is that math level at school is so low, it’s unbelievable. I would have preferred having good math education at the school.

So you have failed in your main objective of getting high quality education.

Why stay?

I would frame it differently. The school has failed in providing high quality education.

The school is doing exactly what these schools do. You failed to discern what that is. They are meeting their mission; you are not.

Their mission is not to teach math below the levels in Europe or Asia. That’s a failure from the school.

Their mission is to artfully curate a special, unique curriculum. If you want enforceable standards, go public.

I prefer a special unique curriculum like the ones in Europe or Asia. The curriculum in dc schools are not worth 60k.

I’m begging you, op, please update after a year in dc public schools.

Didn’t OP say “so far, so good”?

But then she’s pulling her kid?

Which is it?

Or is it fiction?

That expression was referring to the concept of searching for the best school for your kid. That in principle is a very positive goal. What I found in the process, not so good.

Keeping digging that hole, OP.