Anonymous
Post 06/25/2026 11:44     Subject: Cliquey parents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have laughed so many times reading this thread. So many hilarious observations. “Sports moms are just out of shape women with athletic kids who socialize together”
I think there’s a lot of gray area. I am social and have many friends and plans, but also fell lonely and worry my kid isn’t included at times too. It’s a weird time of life and you worry your actions or inactions will affect your kid. In the 80s my mom didn’t step foot at my school and I had a robust social life. Weird how parents are expected to do so much now.


That was me and I said it because it’s true! And sports/dance is the only thing where the moms act like this. My son is in a youth orchestra and there is no group chat, wine nights for “music moms”. It’s absurd.


That’s because many orchestra parents are immigrants or children of immigrant culture (95% Asian, Indian, Russian, Polish, Jewish). Same reason you don’t have wine groups forming from kids’ math and chess clubs. The sport and dance moms are white people who call wine Mommy Juice. We are mixed Asian white so we do both kinds of activities, but am not joining any “book” (ie wine) clubs.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2026 11:18     Subject: Cliquey parents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have laughed so many times reading this thread. So many hilarious observations. “Sports moms are just out of shape women with athletic kids who socialize together”
I think there’s a lot of gray area. I am social and have many friends and plans, but also fell lonely and worry my kid isn’t included at times too. It’s a weird time of life and you worry your actions or inactions will affect your kid. In the 80s my mom didn’t step foot at my school and I had a robust social life. Weird how parents are expected to do so much now.


That was me and I said it because it’s true! And sports/dance is the only thing where the moms act like this. My son is in a youth orchestra and there is no group chat, wine nights for “music moms”. It’s absurd.


Why do you care that gregarious outgoing parents whose kids are in the same activity enjoy each other’s company? You’re the weirdo - not them. They don’t even know or think about you but you’re spamming a message forum hyper analyzing their behavior and group dynamics.


What exactly is your goal here? To drive lonely women to self-harm? You always show up on these threads about women trying to make friends and twist the knife calling them names. You’re really, really mean.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2026 11:02     Subject: Cliquey parents
Anonymous wrote:Many went to the same religious preschool and were from the area so the ties were strong. Hard to break in as a new parent to the area.


This is true. And it’s perfectly natural. It’s nothing to shame or smear as snobby and exclusionary. Sorry we have long term friends and you don’t, I guess? Like I don’t even understand what has the loners so mad. Do you expect us to welcome 1,000 new parents into our “clique”? Or just you - a totally random unvetted person new to the school/community - then close it again?

Friend groups are only valuable when they’re tight knit and high trust. Letting in every rando will quickly destroy the friend group.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2026 10:56     Subject: Cliquey parents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have laughed so many times reading this thread. So many hilarious observations. “Sports moms are just out of shape women with athletic kids who socialize together”
I think there’s a lot of gray area. I am social and have many friends and plans, but also fell lonely and worry my kid isn’t included at times too. It’s a weird time of life and you worry your actions or inactions will affect your kid. In the 80s my mom didn’t step foot at my school and I had a robust social life. Weird how parents are expected to do so much now.


That was me and I said it because it’s true! And sports/dance is the only thing where the moms act like this. My son is in a youth orchestra and there is no group chat, wine nights for “music moms”. It’s absurd.


Why do you care that gregarious outgoing parents whose kids are in the same activity enjoy each other’s company? You’re the weirdo - not them. They don’t even know or think about you but you’re spamming a message forum hyper analyzing their behavior and group dynamics.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2026 10:51     Subject: Cliquey parents
Anonymous wrote:I have laughed so many times reading this thread. So many hilarious observations. “Sports moms are just out of shape women with athletic kids who socialize together”
I think there’s a lot of gray area. I am social and have many friends and plans, but also fell lonely and worry my kid isn’t included at times too. It’s a weird time of life and you worry your actions or inactions will affect your kid. In the 80s my mom didn’t step foot at my school and I had a robust social life. Weird how parents are expected to do so much now.


It’s a DCUM thing. Every thread loosely related to this topic devolves into seething striver loners upset that they can’t broaden their network and elevate their social circle via their kid’s school. Type-A middle aged people with healthy marriages and social lives are not this pathetic and desperate for new friends.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2026 13:46     Subject: Cliquey parents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think what a lot of people don't realize is that parenting can expose people's childhood wounds. People will feel more hurt by exclusion related to their kid than they would in other settings, because in many cases people have childhood exclusion experiences and feeling that again in a school setting (even when you aren't the one in school) can bring it back.

I have plenty of friends and an active social life but was kind of amazed that I still felt hurt when my kid started elementary school and I didn't "click" with any other parents. I realized it was bringing up these feelings from my own elementary experience and just hitting differently than it would have in another setting.

I also wind up protective of my kid, who like me, is unathletic and sensitive. She has friends but school can be a difficult experience because in large groups, the social scene tends to be dominated by sporty, outgoing kids. She gets forgotten a lot, which is what happened to me at that age too. So watching her go through that, and then also feeling kind of isolated among the moms, has just brought up more feelings of rejection than you might expect. It is what it is.

My kid only has one more year of elementary and I'm glad. I already see things getting better for her. My life got a lot better in middle school and high school because kids diversify as they get older and it's easier for the non-sporty, not outgoing kids to find a niche where they fit. I think as that happens for my kid, my own feelings of being an outsider will dissipate too.


Mom with two teens here plus kid in elementary. Sorry to break it to you but middle school is way worse than elementary, not better. This is when girls hit peak insecurity. And you can’t blame parent cliques. There will actually be true mean girl behavior.


I have a kid who is much happier in middle.... it's all relative


Yes, I guess it is all relative. As a parent, I can’t think of any/many parents who have said parenting a middle school kid is easier than an elementary. I guess if your kid had a hard time in elementary school, it could be better. My kids thrived in elementary school, ended elementary during Covid and went to middle school.