Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

Ha-ha, that's me. I am also a lawyer. If I tip, it will be around 10%. Never donate to any non-profits, ever. I eat out just to socialize, but prefer homemade meals. I have never been to any sporting events in my life (except for the one that my kids played), I go probably to 1 concert per year if that. Gifts are only to very close circle, and it is like 10 people total, including family and friends.
I never used delivery for food, and I think I used valet parking once in my life. I love points deals and basic hotels because I don't do anything in the hotel, other than sleep when I travel. I travel a lot internationally though.
I do research prices before buying, to find the cheapest price for the highest quality.
I can spend $500 on dress and spent $4,000 on coat, but my wardrobe is very small and basic. My suits are in $1,000 range.
I never thought these are red flags.

Is she Dutch?

The only red flags for me are if they’re liberal and fugly. A liberal might be good for a swing in the hay but nothing beyond that.

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

It doesn’t matter what the crowd source opinion is, at the end of the day she either finds someone with the same mindset or someone who, while maybe not as frugal, doesn’t care enough about those things that it will be an issue.

Personally I always go back the quote “ Cost and worth are two very different things." I’ve seen people purchase a house that will be torn down for half a million but are upset if they get the wrong amount back in change (less than a dollar), or would never spend money on x but would spend maybe equivalently on something else. People value different things. As a women, when I was dating, the majority of those items would have been compatible for me. The only thing that would give me pause is that there appears to be no flexibility or generosity when it comes to others. Even if you would take the crazy cheap 3 connection flight on your own, if you were traveling with others or getting a flight for your 80 year old barents, I would want the person I am dating to have some flexibility and compromise and be wiling to pay a little more.

People change but scarcity mindset is tough to shake. On bright side, better flaw than people who spend without a worry and stay in debt or paycheck to paycheck.

Anonymous wrote:Man here.

Even if it were Margo Robbie’s twin I would not be interested in anyone with half those traits.

Probably would hit it first though and ghost her. Only if she really did look like Margo Robbie’s twin though.

I call BS. And you’re not a man.

Green Flag if she is good looking and not fat. But need more background info to really know for sure.

Is she American? I'm guessing no since tipping in other countries has not become out of hand like in the USA. In some European countries tipping is not expected.

So if this is the case and she's good looking, total Green Flag for me since I don't care for American women in general. They're too transactional and self-centered.

Man here.

Even if it were Margo Robbie’s twin I would not be interested in anyone with half those traits.

Probably would hit it first though and ghost her. Only if she really did look like Margo Robbie’s twin though.

If I were a man, I would be turned off.

What do I know? I’m female.

Most things are fine but not the cheapness on tipping. That is rude.

I have friends like this and I find some of their traits not fun. They also make bill splitting awkward. I can’t imagine being married to someone like this.

I’m a saver but we have a seven figure income. We pay for convenience and often upgrade for comfort. Time is more valuable to us than a few dollars.

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

If a person like this really exists they will be single their entire life or divorced like 4 times.

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* never tips or donates
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?

🚩never tips or donates
🚩* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows, spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
🚩* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Only two are cheap, rest are frugality to manage finances.