Anonymous wrote:I’m finding myself so upset by the comments here judging the family for putting out a go fund me. They must be in dire straights to have to do that. His wife is a widow with six young kids to raise alone. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

JVDB seemed like a kind person and a good soul. I wouldn’t wish his pain upon anybody - his illness or the pain he must have felt knowing he was leaving behind a big family and spending their savings in an attempt to save his life. I don’t understand how people can be so heartless.

Don’t they live on a multi-million dollar ranch?

If she sold and downsized to a normal home they probably come out ahead; I think its a hobby farm not an actual source of income?

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Anonymous wrote:Did he ever have chemo?

Sure did.

Why didn’t it work? Was it just too late? This is so sad.

?

There’s no chemotherapy drug that works 100% of the time. That’s why people die from cancer even with standard treatment.

In most cases, we still don’t know why some people have a residual cancer burden after chemo while others have a complete pathological response. A lot of it has to do with the molecular structure / specific gene mutations of a specific person’s cancer.

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Anonymous wrote:Did he ever have chemo?

Sure did.

Why didn’t it work? Was it just too late? This is so sad.

Chemo doesn’t always work. Depends on many factors. I have a family member who wouldn’t be alive today if not for immunotherapy bc her cancer typically doesn’t respond to chemo at all. Some people don’t respond to chemo when others do. Sometimes cancer can be super aggressive no matter what you do.

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Anonymous wrote:Did he ever have chemo?

Sure did.

Why didn’t it work? Was it just too late? This is so sad.

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever have chemo?

Sure did.

Did he ever have chemo?

I’m finding myself so upset by the comments here judging the family for putting out a go fund me. They must be in dire straights to have to do that. His wife is a widow with six young kids to raise alone. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

JVDB seemed like a kind person and a good soul. I wouldn’t wish his pain upon anybody - his illness or the pain he must have felt knowing he was leaving behind a big family and spending their savings in an attempt to save his life. I don’t understand how people can be so heartless.

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Anonymous wrote:1.5 million so far. They probably need it though with 6 kids to raise and put through college. How much could his wife even work now?

The youngest child is 4. I think with six kids the goal is for her NOT to work, and it makes a lot of sense when widowed so young with so many young children. I hope they raise all the money they need. By all accounts he was a really great guy and beloved by everyone who knew him.

+1 I hope they raise enough so she never has to work, and all the costs are taken care of.

Why exactly?

NP- why do you need/want her to work? Why wish a harder life on her exactly? In a perfect world anyone in her situation would be better off not working as they are navigating grief and raising young kids UNLESS they find joy and fulfillment in their occupation.

I agree that when you have 6 kids, it becomes much less possible that you work out of the home.

That said, if this was a Black or Hispanic Tv star who had died an early death of cancer whose wife was now asking for money, rather than a blonde, I am pretty sure the tone of comments would be different and that there would be more people questioning why more planning ahead hadn’t been done before doing a GoFundme.

Maybe there WAS planning ahead. But six kids is a lot of mouths to feed. A lot of bodies to clothe.

I am sure this was planned well in advance, knowing their financial situation, that they would use this opportunity/attention to solicit donations at the moment it would get peak attention and response. James would likely have thought of it as a last thing he could do for his children’s futures. Perhaps that gave him some peace.

I am not going to judge anyone who takes advantage of an opportunity to lessen their financial insecurity. Each person who donated, did so of their own free will and desire to help.

If he could have purchased adequate life insurance when they had their first kid like the rest of us do.

Maybe he did and they are just bilking all these people. What then?

Like Mandy Moore? Well then that would incite me to say things about them that I can’t say for 48 hours.

What about Mandy Moore?

Mandy Moore had a go fund me for her brother after the fires. Her beautiful, renovated home in Pasedena was just featured in architectural digest. Selfish soulless people preying on the sympathies of fans to get more and more and more. Shame is an antiquated concept.

She shared a go fund me on her instagram that someone else had set up for her brother after his house burned down in the fires. I could see your criticism being warranted if she had posted a go fund me for herself (her home was also impacted and almost all of their belongings/the interior destroyed) but clearly she didn’t do that.

However with three kids under 5 of her own it’s not really a reasonable expectation for her to have to fully bankroll her entire extended family (and that of her spouse) through every life mishap, particularly when simultaneously also going through a major setback herself. I’m sure she did provide them with some assistance.

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Anonymous wrote:1.5 million so far. They probably need it though with 6 kids to raise and put through college. How much could his wife even work now?

The youngest child is 4. I think with six kids the goal is for her NOT to work, and it makes a lot of sense when widowed so young with so many young children. I hope they raise all the money they need. By all accounts he was a really great guy and beloved by everyone who knew him.

+1 I hope they raise enough so she never has to work, and all the costs are taken care of.

Why exactly?

NP- why do you need/want her to work? Why wish a harder life on her exactly? In a perfect world anyone in her situation would be better off not working as they are navigating grief and raising young kids UNLESS they find joy and fulfillment in their occupation.

I agree that when you have 6 kids, it becomes much less possible that you work out of the home.

That said, if this was a Black or Hispanic Tv star who had died an early death of cancer whose wife was now asking for money, rather than a blonde, I am pretty sure the tone of comments would be different and that there would be more people questioning why more planning ahead hadn’t been done before doing a GoFundme.

Maybe there WAS planning ahead. But six kids is a lot of mouths to feed. A lot of bodies to clothe.

I am sure this was planned well in advance, knowing their financial situation, that they would use this opportunity/attention to solicit donations at the moment it would get peak attention and response. James would likely have thought of it as a last thing he could do for his children’s futures. Perhaps that gave him some peace.

I am not going to judge anyone who takes advantage of an opportunity to lessen their financial insecurity. Each person who donated, did so of their own free will and desire to help.

If he could have purchased adequate life insurance when they had their first kid like the rest of us do.

Maybe he did and they are just bilking all these people. What then?

Like Mandy Moore? Well then that would incite me to say things about them that I can’t say for 48 hours.

What about Mandy Moore?

Mandy Moore had a go fund me for her brother after the fires. Her beautiful, renovated home in Pasedena was just featured in architectural digest. Selfish soulless people preying on the sympathies of fans to get more and more and more. Shame is an antiquated concept.

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Anonymous wrote:1.5 million so far. They probably need it though with 6 kids to raise and put through college. How much could his wife even work now?

The youngest child is 4. I think with six kids the goal is for her NOT to work, and it makes a lot of sense when widowed so young with so many young children. I hope they raise all the money they need. By all accounts he was a really great guy and beloved by everyone who knew him.

+1 I hope they raise enough so she never has to work, and all the costs are taken care of.

Why exactly?

NP- why do you need/want her to work? Why wish a harder life on her exactly? In a perfect world anyone in her situation would be better off not working as they are navigating grief and raising young kids UNLESS they find joy and fulfillment in their occupation.

I agree that when you have 6 kids, it becomes much less possible that you work out of the home.

That said, if this was a Black or Hispanic Tv star who had died an early death of cancer whose wife was now asking for money, rather than a blonde, I am pretty sure the tone of comments would be different and that there would be more people questioning why more planning ahead hadn’t been done before doing a GoFundme.

Maybe there WAS planning ahead. But six kids is a lot of mouths to feed. A lot of bodies to clothe.

I am sure this was planned well in advance, knowing their financial situation, that they would use this opportunity/attention to solicit donations at the moment it would get peak attention and response. James would likely have thought of it as a last thing he could do for his children’s futures. Perhaps that gave him some peace.

I am not going to judge anyone who takes advantage of an opportunity to lessen their financial insecurity. Each person who donated, did so of their own free will and desire to help.

If he could have purchased adequate life insurance when they had their first kid like the rest of us do.

Maybe he did and they are just bilking all these people. What then?

Like Mandy Moore? Well then that would incite me to say things about them that I can’t say for 48 hours.

What about Mandy Moore?

Steven Speilberg and Kate Capshaw donated $25K.

They should be covering colonoscopies after 40.

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Anonymous wrote:1.5 million so far. They probably need it though with 6 kids to raise and put through college. How much could his wife even work now?

The youngest child is 4. I think with six kids the goal is for her NOT to work, and it makes a lot of sense when widowed so young with so many young children. I hope they raise all the money they need. By all accounts he was a really great guy and beloved by everyone who knew him.

+1 I hope they raise enough so she never has to work, and all the costs are taken care of.

Why exactly?

NP- why do you need/want her to work? Why wish a harder life on her exactly? In a perfect world anyone in her situation would be better off not working as they are navigating grief and raising young kids UNLESS they find joy and fulfillment in their occupation.

I agree that when you have 6 kids, it becomes much less possible that you work out of the home.

That said, if this was a Black or Hispanic Tv star who had died an early death of cancer whose wife was now asking for money, rather than a blonde, I am pretty sure the tone of comments would be different and that there would be more people questioning why more planning ahead hadn’t been done before doing a GoFundme.

Glad you're here to be the counterbalance. But, what's the difference? Either way someone is tone policing.

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Anonymous wrote:While I don't think she should have to go to work next week while she and her children are in mourning, how will the kids get health insurance if she doesn't? Heck, SHE needs health insurance so she doesn't die now that she's the kids' only living parent.

She can get it on healthcare.gov like many people do once SAG benefits expire but that’s not for many months.

Death of spouse would qualify her for getting insurance now

I know, just saying she doesn't have to do that and can just keep SAG for now.

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Anonymous wrote:1.5 million so far. They probably need it though with 6 kids to raise and put through college. How much could his wife even work now?

The youngest child is 4. I think with six kids the goal is for her NOT to work, and it makes a lot of sense when widowed so young with so many young children. I hope they raise all the money they need. By all accounts he was a really great guy and beloved by everyone who knew him.

+1 I hope they raise enough so she never has to work, and all the costs are taken care of.

Why exactly?

NP- why do you need/want her to work? Why wish a harder life on her exactly? In a perfect world anyone in her situation would be better off not working as they are navigating grief and raising young kids UNLESS they find joy and fulfillment in their occupation.

I agree that when you have 6 kids, it becomes much less possible that you work out of the home.

That said, if this was a Black or Hispanic Tv star who had died an early death of cancer whose wife was now asking for money, rather than a blonde, I am pretty sure the tone of comments would be different and that there would be more people questioning why more planning ahead hadn’t been done before doing a GoFundme.

Maybe there WAS planning ahead. But six kids is a lot of mouths to feed. A lot of bodies to clothe.

I am sure this was planned well in advance, knowing their financial situation, that they would use this opportunity/attention to solicit donations at the moment it would get peak attention and response. James would likely have thought of it as a last thing he could do for his children’s futures. Perhaps that gave him some peace.

I am not going to judge anyone who takes advantage of an opportunity to lessen their financial insecurity. Each person who donated, did so of their own free will and desire to help.

If he could have purchased adequate life insurance when they had their first kid like the rest of us do.

Maybe he did and they are just bilking all these people. What then?

Like Mandy Moore? Well then that would incite me to say things about them that I can’t say for 48 hours.

I know it's hard but you'll have to bite your tongue and then you can really unleash all your pent up rage about this. It's really going to help you be a better provided for your own kids.