Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

At my kid's T10, the freshman social group is private school kids from across the country - agree they find each other over the summer:
UES (5-10 schools), Brooklyn (Packer, SA), Greenwich, DC (Sidwell; GDS), Miami (RE and Gulliver); Chicago (Latin and Parker); LA (HW, Brentwood, Crossroads, etc), Bay Area (i don't know as well but at least 3-4 schools). Also, a smattering of random ski towns (Aspen, Jackson, Idaho).....which I was surprised about.
Boarding school kids kind of have their own crew, too.

Agree with these schools but add in STA. They seem to be the most connected of the DC kids.
Also, the Boston privates: the day students at Nobles, Groton, Milton, Middlesex. Also Roxbury Latin.
And Taft and Deerfield.

All these kids know the NYC kids. It's one giant social scene thanks to summer camps, high school study-aboard programs, friends-of-friends and social media.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

I have no doubt these uber-wealthy kids tend to flock together at all schools. (They did 30 years ago, too.)

Excluding this super-rarified Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area group, how well do the rest of the kids at Duke, Vanderbilt, Ivys, SLAC mix with each other?

For example, I know one sorority at Duke and one at Vanderbilt that are predominantly the uber-wealthy Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area types.

But can anyone tell me more about the OTHER sororities at these schools? Are they more economically mixed? Or are they further stratified by income? Like some sororities that are mostly full-pay and other sororities that are mostly fin aid? Or some that are mostly private school (not including Manhattan elite . . . ) and some that are mostly public school?

I'm really hoping everything is more mixed! Once you get beyond the uber-wealthy. But I'd love the hear about your kids' recent experiences.

Honestly I'd start new thread just about this....

Yes, for the sorority/fraternity part. It's better for a new thread.

But what about the overall question: Once you remove the uber-wealthy/elite, how well do the rest of the kids mix socially?

I ask as the parent of a full-pay kid from a really good public school in a mid-west suburb that includes all economic levels. (DC is not interested in the state flagship, by the way.)

Have you seen how bifurcated Greek life is at Michigan or Wisconsin? Even rushing at Indiana is painful. I would ask around in your social circle.

There are social benefits and social drawbacks to going to a school where a lot of kids from your own high school have gone in the past.

Thanks. DC is not interested in our state flagship. They are looking at OOS schools that enroll at most a handful of kids from their high school each year.

i think the point is there is not as much mixing even at OOS flagships in Greek life anymore. Agree on these 3 schools, but more so Michigan than the others

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

I have no doubt these uber-wealthy kids tend to flock together at all schools. (They did 30 years ago, too.)

Excluding this super-rarified Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area group, how well do the rest of the kids at Duke, Vanderbilt, Ivys, SLAC mix with each other?

For example, I know one sorority at Duke and one at Vanderbilt that are predominantly the uber-wealthy Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area types.

But can anyone tell me more about the OTHER sororities at these schools? Are they more economically mixed? Or are they further stratified by income? Like some sororities that are mostly full-pay and other sororities that are mostly fin aid? Or some that are mostly private school (not including Manhattan elite . . . ) and some that are mostly public school?

I'm really hoping everything is more mixed! Once you get beyond the uber-wealthy. But I'd love the hear about your kids' recent experiences.

Honestly I'd start new thread just about this....

Yes, for the sorority/fraternity part. It's better for a new thread.

But what about the overall question: Once you remove the uber-wealthy/elite, how well do the rest of the kids mix socially?

I ask as the parent of a full-pay kid from a really good public school in a mid-west suburb that includes all economic levels. (DC is not interested in the state flagship, by the way.)

Have you seen how bifurcated Greek life is at Michigan or Wisconsin? Even rushing at Indiana is painful. I would ask around in your social circle.

There are social benefits and social drawbacks to going to a school where a lot of kids from your own high school have gone in the past.

Thanks. DC is not interested in our state flagship. They are looking at OOS schools that enroll at most a handful of kids from their high school each year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

I have no doubt these uber-wealthy kids tend to flock together at all schools. (They did 30 years ago, too.)

Excluding this super-rarified Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area group, how well do the rest of the kids at Duke, Vanderbilt, Ivys, SLAC mix with each other?

For example, I know one sorority at Duke and one at Vanderbilt that are predominantly the uber-wealthy Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area types.

But can anyone tell me more about the OTHER sororities at these schools? Are they more economically mixed? Or are they further stratified by income? Like some sororities that are mostly full-pay and other sororities that are mostly fin aid? Or some that are mostly private school (not including Manhattan elite . . . ) and some that are mostly public school?

I'm really hoping everything is more mixed! Once you get beyond the uber-wealthy. But I'd love the hear about your kids' recent experiences.

Honestly I'd start new thread just about this....

Yes, for the sorority/fraternity part. It's better for a new thread.

But what about the overall question: Once you remove the uber-wealthy/elite, how well do the rest of the kids mix socially?

I ask as the parent of a full-pay kid from a really good public school in a mid-west suburb that includes all economic levels. (DC is not interested in the state flagship, by the way.)

Have you seen how bifurcated Greek life is at Michigan or Wisconsin? Even rushing at Indiana is painful. I would ask around in your social circle.

There are social benefits and social drawbacks to going to a school where a lot of kids from your own high school have gone in the past.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

I have no doubt these uber-wealthy kids tend to flock together at all schools. (They did 30 years ago, too.)

Excluding this super-rarified Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area group, how well do the rest of the kids at Duke, Vanderbilt, Ivys, SLAC mix with each other?

For example, I know one sorority at Duke and one at Vanderbilt that are predominantly the uber-wealthy Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area types.

But can anyone tell me more about the OTHER sororities at these schools? Are they more economically mixed? Or are they further stratified by income? Like some sororities that are mostly full-pay and other sororities that are mostly fin aid? Or some that are mostly private school (not including Manhattan elite . . . ) and some that are mostly public school?

I'm really hoping everything is more mixed! Once you get beyond the uber-wealthy. But I'd love the hear about your kids' recent experiences.

Honestly I'd start new thread just about this....

Yes, for the sorority/fraternity part. It's better for a new thread.

But what about the overall question: Once you remove the uber-wealthy/elite, how well do the rest of the kids mix socially?

I ask as the parent of a full-pay kid from a really good public school in a mid-west suburb that includes all economic levels. (DC is not interested in the state flagship, by the way.)

At some schools, groups sometimes form around cliques of legacy kids (usually wealthy or at least UMC) who’ve known each other for years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

This isn't just Duke. It's all private T20. And it's done through Greek houses and just in first-year orientation.

It's how they network over the summer through social media and find each other. All the private school kids - from across the nation - all know each other before they get to campus.

As a private HS parent, I personally thought it was frightening and left little spontaneity. Lots of preconceived notions about people (scrolling social media, who your "commons" are, etc.). Social media has ruined the spontaneity of the first-year experience.

Well it is not just private T20s either for that matter.

Look the wealth gap is only going to exacerbate this. This is what our kids will be experiencing all their lives in the current American trajectory.

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

At my kid's T10, the freshman social group is private school kids from across the country - agree they find each other over the summer:
UES (5-10 schools), Brooklyn (Packer, SA), Greenwich, DC (Sidwell; GDS), Miami (RE and Gulliver); Chicago (Latin and Parker); LA (HW, Brentwood, Crossroads, etc), Bay Area (i don't know as well but at least 3-4 schools). Also, a smattering of random ski towns (Aspen, Jackson, Idaho).....which I was surprised about.
Boarding school kids kind of have their own crew, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

I have no doubt these uber-wealthy kids tend to flock together at all schools. (They did 30 years ago, too.)

Excluding this super-rarified Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area group, how well do the rest of the kids at Duke, Vanderbilt, Ivys, SLAC mix with each other?

For example, I know one sorority at Duke and one at Vanderbilt that are predominantly the uber-wealthy Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area types.

But can anyone tell me more about the OTHER sororities at these schools? Are they more economically mixed? Or are they further stratified by income? Like some sororities that are mostly full-pay and other sororities that are mostly fin aid? Or some that are mostly private school (not including Manhattan elite . . . ) and some that are mostly public school?

I'm really hoping everything is more mixed! Once you get beyond the uber-wealthy. But I'd love the hear about your kids' recent experiences.

Honestly I'd start new thread just about this....

Anonymous wrote:As someone who attended a private college, I found that a few richer fellow students didn't care and made friends with anyone.

But for being friends with most, you had to have the money to keep up with them. And I did not.

+1. I was a lower middle class kid who went to a “T20” private school on pretty substantial scholarship. But I left after a semester because I felt so out of place socially - I couldn’t keep up with all of the social expenses and didn’t feel I could relate at all to all the rich kids. Transferred to state flagship and was much happier.

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

I have no doubt these uber-wealthy kids tend to flock together at all schools. (They did 30 years ago, too.)

Excluding this super-rarified Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area group, how well do the rest of the kids at Duke, Vanderbilt, Ivys, SLAC mix with each other?

For example, I know one sorority at Duke and one at Vanderbilt that are predominantly the uber-wealthy Greenwich/Manhattan/Bay Area types.

But can anyone tell me more about the OTHER sororities at these schools? Are they more economically mixed? Or are they further stratified by income? Like some sororities that are mostly full-pay and other sororities that are mostly fin aid? Or some that are mostly private school (not including Manhattan elite . . . ) and some that are mostly public school?

I'm really hoping everything is more mixed! Once you get beyond the uber-wealthy. But I'd love the hear about your kids' recent experiences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

This isn't just Duke. It's all private T20. And it's done through Greek houses and just in first-year orientation.

It's how they network over the summer through social media and find each other. All the private school kids - from across the nation - all know each other before they get to campus.

As a private HS parent, I personally thought it was frightening and left little spontaneity. Lots of preconceived notions about people (scrolling social media, who your "commons" are, etc.). Social media has ruined the spontaneity of the first-year experience.

+100% agreed. Similar experience observed with my freshman. Starts early with immediate networking upon acceptance, roommate searches, and summer get-togethers before orientation. Once on campus, they are invited to dinners out, off campus events, ubers, weekend travel, etc. Yes, my kid went to private school but I naively expected greater social integration through clubs and classes, but the access to $ is a barrier. Then there is the added variable of extreme international wealth and cliques. I went to the same school decades ago and had a very different experience. I hear the same from friends with kids at all private and public flagships, maybe to a lesser degree. At public flagships, it becomes apparent when kids move off campus to nicer apartments, join greek and travel for spring break, etc. Yes, these schools all offer a lot of financial aid, but it's hard to form friendships with people when u can't afford to hang out and live together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

This isn't just Duke. It's all private T20. And it's done through Greek houses and just in first-year orientation.

It's how they network over the summer through social media and find each other. All the private school kids - from across the nation - all know each other before they get to campus.

As a private HS parent, I personally thought it was frightening and left little spontaneity. Lots of preconceived notions about people (scrolling social media, who your "commons" are, etc.). Social media has ruined the spontaneity of the first-year experience.

I've been dismayed to see this too. And we started paying more attention to how schools are doing roommate assignments on our tours after hearing about this. It actually seems like a lot of the schools our DD is interested in (Brown, Dartmouth, Midd, Tufts, Carleton) assign freshman roommates based on a questionnaire, so there is no Instagram "shopping." I'm sure there is self-sorting that happens later regardless, but schools that do not allow self-selection of frosh roommate have earned extra points in our book.

As someone who attended a private college, I found that a few richer fellow students didn't care and made friends with anyone.

But for being friends with most, you had to have the money to keep up with them. And I did not.

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

This isn't just Duke. It's all private T20. And it's done through Greek houses and just in first-year orientation.

It's how they network over the summer through social media and find each other. All the private school kids - from across the nation - all know each other before they get to campus.

As a private HS parent, I personally thought it was frightening and left little spontaneity. Lots of preconceived notions about people (scrolling social media, who your "commons" are, etc.). Social media has ruined the spontaneity of the first-year experience.