Anonymous wrote:For what it is worth I have three kids who have been at at least a dozen schools between them from pre-K through high school, with plenty experience in both public and private. In our experience the public school kids are consistently nicer, less exclusive, and less mean than private. Fortunately we live in an area with great publics, so if I had it to do over, we would go public all the way just to be around nice kids.
I know there are plenty of nice kids in private, but all it takes is a few toxic kids to ruin the culture, and it seems to happen a lot.

My kids are still young enough to not have encountered bullying, but I have a theory for why this is the case. Public school classes are large enough so it's easy for students to avoid interacting with anyone they don't like. And they're also large enough that a student won't notice if a few others are avoiding them. Plus, you'd think the kids with financially stable but dysfunctional home lives would turn into bullies, but from what I've seen in friends, the family dysfunction or abuse is more likely to make them withdrawn or eager to please, as they try to seek comfort and refuge in their friends. In my opinion, kids who are bullies are mostly just bored.

Anonymous wrote:Every school has mean girls.

This! The public schools too! Hurt people hurt people.

Anonymous wrote:Definitely Stone Ridge. In almost every grade there is a group of girls who just get all their fun from bullying others and nothing is done about it.

Even in elementary school

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eager to avoid Chevy parents en masse since our family's first exposure at a local preschool. It's hard to imagine their presence wouldn't exacerbate relational bullying.

With that in mind, does this sound like a good list for middle/upper?: GDS, Sheridan, Madeira, WIS, Burke. Welcome any other ideas

Congressional and Chevy parents can be problematic. They don’t parent their their children in normal ways but they take every opportunity they can to make sure their kids are the ones throwing the parties. Weird priorities.

The parties start early in high school making me wonder what happened to these parents? They were the same parents who had the fire departments fit their car seats and yet they think it is fine to throw ragers. Bizarre.

Every school has mean girls, true. However, how the parents and administrators either encourage or discourage it is impactful. Will never forget the middle school teacher who allowed a “birthday circle” in 7th grade whereby girls all stood up and said something supposedly nice about the girls whose birthday was that month. Three girls were “honored” that day and I watched in horror as a girl who was clearly on the outside was told by one that “she was a good hugger,” and then another “she hugged a little too hard,” etc. the comments got progressive snippier and the honoree looked like she might cry. Dumbest thing a 7th grade homeroom teacher could have done.

Holton, for sure. Weird next level mean girl.

Every school has popular cliques. The question is whether those popular cliques are nice kids or mean kids and what the schools do about it if it’s the latter. My DD has gotten lucky. Her grade the popular girls and nice, which is also true of the girls a year older. But the boys a year older and the girls a year younger are holy terrors.

This whole thread is meta

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Varies by grade by NCS has them for sure.

DP. Not that many at NCS actually. We have 2 daughters there. Most issues I have heard of revolve around the crew team - both the parents and girls have had many many issues over the years. When parents get involved it just escalates.

Not our experience. The admin is pretty inconsistent when responding to these situations.

DP. Crew should be better next year. Many are graduating although a few of those parents do have younger daughters (different sport though)!

Anonymous wrote:Every school has mean girls.

Agree!

Every school has mean girls.

Anonymous wrote:Any school whose Mom's post regularly on dcum probably has mean girls ...and boys.

Precisely…which school can you add to the list mom? Share all that hypocrisy with the group.

Any school whose Mom's post regularly on dcum probably has mean girls ...and boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Varies by grade by NCS has them for sure.

DP. Not that many at NCS actually. We have 2 daughters there. Most issues I have heard of revolve around the crew team - both the parents and girls have had many many issues over the years. When parents get involved it just escalates.

Not our experience. The admin is pretty inconsistent when responding to these situations.

Stone Ridge