Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - a lot of women do this, too. I know two women who abandoned their children. One moved across the country but does have a relationship with her child (she sees her twice a year) and the other one flat out abandoned the child and even the dad has no idea what happened to her. So you ladies need to shut it about this being a man only thing. Absolutely not true.

Very very rare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stories like this are radicalizing to me. The fact that a man can still do this, in this day and age, and not just be shunned by society, is grotesque.

I know of a woman who bailed on her kids, left them with their (wonderful) father to go "live her own life" and she was rightly shunned by the whole community, including her parents and siblings and her oldest friends.

That's misogyny at work right there. As long as men are allowed to just abandon their children when it suits them, it's a problem for society. And it's been like this forever. And our president elect has even done this! (With Tiffany).

So if someone- mother or father- knows they're not likely to a good parent, you'd rather they keep their child to avoid social ostracization than find a better home for their child?

If we were talking about people with severe mental illness or physical disabilities, sure.

People who have kids and then simply decide they don't like being a parent should be held accountable for that. We want to discourage people from having kids they don't want to care for. A true inability to care for children is a different situation.

There are some serious forced-birther vibes going on here. You should probably move to a red state.

The opposite actually-- if you don't want to be a parent, don't have kids and I for sure want you to have access to abortion. Having an unwanted child is an act of cruelty.

I think lack of abortion access leads to child neglect and abandonment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - a lot of women do this, too. I know two women who abandoned their children. One moved across the country but does have a relationship with her child (she sees her twice a year) and the other one flat out abandoned the child and even the dad has no idea what happened to her. So you ladies need to shut it about this being a man only thing. Absolutely not true.

Very very rare.

Anonymous wrote:I generally feel like men who abandon their children never have a bond with their mother. When they love the mom, they typically love the children of that woman.

Anonymous wrote:OP - a lot of women do this, too. I know two women who abandoned their children. One moved across the country but does have a relationship with her child (she sees her twice a year) and the other one flat out abandoned the child and even the dad has no idea what happened to her. So you ladies need to shut it about this being a man only thing. Absolutely not true.

Anonymous wrote:My sister died when I was 4. My mom told me that she did not do any parenting for over a year because she was too grief-stricken. After my mom died I found notes of a suicide plan she had made at the time (I don’t know whether she tried and failed or changed her mind because I was only 4).
I say all this to say that had my father not been there, I could see someone in a state of despair not being able to take care of their kids and truly feeling that someone else would be better parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I used to work with a woman who placed her daughter for adoption at 8 months. She was a single mom and couldn't handle the responsibility. Nor did she want to.

I was shocked. However, mom had very little emotional attachment. The little girl was hopefully raised in a better situation.

8-month-olds are still practically potatoes. I wouldn't expect a strong emotional attachment yet.

You wouldn't expect a strong emotional attachment from the Mother of an 8 month old? How sad.

You obviously have no idea how long post-partum depression or psychoses lasts. Tell me you are not a therapist without telling me you are not a therapist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I used to work with a woman who placed her daughter for adoption at 8 months. She was a single mom and couldn't handle the responsibility. Nor did she want to.

I was shocked. However, mom had very little emotional attachment. The little girl was hopefully raised in a better situation.

8-month-olds are still practically potatoes. I wouldn't expect a strong emotional attachment yet.

Wtf are you talking about? My kid was attached to his parents at three-ish months for sure. He knew who his parents were and would squawk if someone else tried to hold him for too long.

Anonymous wrote:My sister died when I was 4. My mom told me that she did not do any parenting for over a year because she was too grief-stricken. After my mom died I found notes of a suicide plan she had made at the time (I don’t know whether she tried and failed or changed her mind because I was only 4).
I say all this to say that had my father not been there, I could see someone in a state of despair not being able to take care of their kids and truly feeling that someone else would be better parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I used to work with a woman who placed her daughter for adoption at 8 months. She was a single mom and couldn't handle the responsibility. Nor did she want to.

I was shocked. However, mom had very little emotional attachment. The little girl was hopefully raised in a better situation.

8-month-olds are still practically potatoes. I wouldn't expect a strong emotional attachment yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stories like this are radicalizing to me. The fact that a man can still do this, in this day and age, and not just be shunned by society, is grotesque.

I know of a woman who bailed on her kids, left them with their (wonderful) father to go "live her own life" and she was rightly shunned by the whole community, including her parents and siblings and her oldest friends.

That's misogyny at work right there. As long as men are allowed to just abandon their children when it suits them, it's a problem for society. And it's been like this forever. And our president elect has even done this! (With Tiffany).

So if someone- mother or father- knows they're not likely to a good parent, you'd rather they keep their child to avoid social ostracization than find a better home for their child?

If we were talking about people with severe mental illness or physical disabilities, sure.

People who have kids and then simply decide they don't like being a parent should be held accountable for that. We want to discourage people from having kids they don't want to care for. A true inability to care for children is a different situation.

There are some serious forced-birther vibes going on here. You should probably move to a red state.

The opposite actually-- if you don't want to be a parent, don't have kids and I for sure want you to have access to abortion. Having an unwanted child is an act of cruelty.

I think lack of abortion access leads to child neglect and abandonment.

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stories like this are radicalizing to me. The fact that a man can still do this, in this day and age, and not just be shunned by society, is grotesque.

I know of a woman who bailed on her kids, left them with their (wonderful) father to go "live her own life" and she was rightly shunned by the whole community, including her parents and siblings and her oldest friends.

That's misogyny at work right there. As long as men are allowed to just abandon their children when it suits them, it's a problem for society. And it's been like this forever. And our president elect has even done this! (With Tiffany).

So if someone- mother or father- knows they're not likely to a good parent, you'd rather they keep their child to avoid social ostracization than find a better home for their child?

If we were talking about people with severe mental illness or physical disabilities, sure.

People who have kids and then simply decide they don't like being a parent should be held accountable for that. We want to discourage people from having kids they don't want to care for. A true inability to care for children is a different situation.

There are some serious forced-birther vibes going on here. You should probably move to a red state.