You are definitely happier being in the dark because when you see someone who has on paper the same exact life as you except for you pay twice as much as them for the same schools tuition it’s frustrating.

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea who receives financial aid at our kids’ schools and never talk about finances or money with other families. I find it so odd that people are such busybodies and know all this detailed info, then get bent out of shape about it. I haven’t a clue and am fine being in the dark!

+1

Anonymous wrote:So if you want your donation to go for FA for an actual poor student, what do you do?

Pick a school where you trust the decisions they make or just let it go. Or give a big enough amount to set up a named scholarship where you can set the parameters.

So if you want your donation to go for FA for an actual poor student, what do you do?

I have no idea who receives financial aid at our kids’ schools and never talk about finances or money with other families. I find it so odd that people are such busybodies and know all this detailed info, then get bent out of shape about it. I haven’t a clue and am fine being in the dark!

Anonymous wrote:The thing is most families at your private are fine with giving FA to UMC people. They want to be able to brag about all the FA their school gives out but they don’t want it going to actual poor people because they would have to deal with actual poor people.

They want a couple—but not much more— poors around so they can display them like exhibits at the museum. “Look what we did! We helped!”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused why people care who receives financial aid. If people feel as though they can't afford the tuition, apply for aid, regardless of what people on this forum tell you. If you feel as though you can afford tuition without aid, don't apply. At the same time, don't criticize others based on what you see. They've made a decision based on their situation and so should you.

Because these people have been making financial decisions that they view through a moral lens, rather than just whatever is best for them. And then they get mad when their perceived moral superiority doesn’t result in them getting the best outcome over others.

This. They think they are superior humans because they made certain financial decisions that include not resting FA, and are angry that people who made different “inferior” decisions are “rewarded” if they do ask for and receive FA.

Folks, if it bothers you that someone else got aid, YOU CAN ASK FOR IT TOO.

There's no rational universe in which we should get aid, and I'm not going to waste my time applying for it. There's a very significant part of this that you are ignoring, however - the request from schools to donate. Other families are, in significant part, funding the financial aid. That doesn't give the the right to control financial aid decisions, but it does give the the right to wonder if the decisions are made in a way I'm comfortable with. If some random charity wants a significant donation from me, but I have knowledge that they use the donations in a way I don't agree with, my answer is going to be no. I don't donate to pro-life organizations, for example, or the GOP. The school doesn't get a free pass to extract extra money from me on top of tuition just because my kid goes there.

Then don’t donate, or do an earmarked donation to a program you do support. Problem solved, and you still get to mind your own business rather than mind other people’s financial choices.

Agree!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused why people care who receives financial aid. If people feel as though they can't afford the tuition, apply for aid, regardless of what people on this forum tell you. If you feel as though you can afford tuition without aid, don't apply. At the same time, don't criticize others based on what you see. They've made a decision based on their situation and so should you.

Because these people have been making financial decisions that they view through a moral lens, rather than just whatever is best for them. And then they get mad when their perceived moral superiority doesn’t result in them getting the best outcome over others.

This. They think they are superior humans because they made certain financial decisions that include not resting FA, and are angry that people who made different “inferior” decisions are “rewarded” if they do ask for and receive FA.

Folks, if it bothers you that someone else got aid, YOU CAN ASK FOR IT TOO.

There's no rational universe in which we should get aid, and I'm not going to waste my time applying for it. There's a very significant part of this that you are ignoring, however - the request from schools to donate. Other families are, in significant part, funding the financial aid. That doesn't give the the right to control financial aid decisions, but it does give the the right to wonder if the decisions are made in a way I'm comfortable with. If some random charity wants a significant donation from me, but I have knowledge that they use the donations in a way I don't agree with, my answer is going to be no. I don't donate to pro-life organizations, for example, or the GOP. The school doesn't get a free pass to extract extra money from me on top of tuition just because my kid goes there.

Then don’t donate, or do an earmarked donation to a program you do support. Problem solved, and you still get to mind your own business rather than mind other people’s financial choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused why people care who receives financial aid. If people feel as though they can't afford the tuition, apply for aid, regardless of what people on this forum tell you. If you feel as though you can afford tuition without aid, don't apply. At the same time, don't criticize others based on what you see. They've made a decision based on their situation and so should you.

Because these people have been making financial decisions that they view through a moral lens, rather than just whatever is best for them. And then they get mad when their perceived moral superiority doesn’t result in them getting the best outcome over others.

This. They think they are superior humans because they made certain financial decisions that include not resting FA, and are angry that people who made different “inferior” decisions are “rewarded” if they do ask for and receive FA.

Folks, if it bothers you that someone else got aid, YOU CAN ASK FOR IT TOO.

There's no rational universe in which we should get aid, and I'm not going to waste my time applying for it. There's a very significant part of this that you are ignoring, however - the request from schools to donate. Other families are, in significant part, funding the financial aid. That doesn't give the the right to control financial aid decisions, but it does give the the right to wonder if the decisions are made in a way I'm comfortable with. If some random charity wants a significant donation from me, but I have knowledge that they use the donations in a way I don't agree with, my answer is going to be no. I don't donate to pro-life organizations, for example, or the GOP. The school doesn't get a free pass to extract extra money from me on top of tuition just because my kid goes there.

I stopped donating to the financial aid drive at my child’s private school when another parent told me that she received financial aid for her child. She asked for my advice in hiding an inheritance she had received recently from the financial aid committee.

I am not interested in enabling this kind of income redistribution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused why people care who receives financial aid. If people feel as though they can't afford the tuition, apply for aid, regardless of what people on this forum tell you. If you feel as though you can afford tuition without aid, don't apply. At the same time, don't criticize others based on what you see. They've made a decision based on their situation and so should you.

Because these people have been making financial decisions that they view through a moral lens, rather than just whatever is best for them. And then they get mad when their perceived moral superiority doesn’t result in them getting the best outcome over others.

This. They think they are superior humans because they made certain financial decisions that include not resting FA, and are angry that people who made different “inferior” decisions are “rewarded” if they do ask for and receive FA.

Folks, if it bothers you that someone else got aid, YOU CAN ASK FOR IT TOO.

This. Exactly. Just ask for aid yourself if it bothers you so much. Otherwise, mind your business. Stop trying to justify people's decisions, regardless of whether they live in a 500k, 1M, 1.5M, 3M, 5M home. Who cares. If you are worried that your donated dollars aren't going to the right place, don't donate or specify exactly where you would like your contributions to go.

Applying for financial aid from private schools in this area puts a family at significant risk of identity theft.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Financial aid is not supposed to be for average white kids living in 20816/20815 whose parents haven’t saved any money and don’t make enough to pay for the private school education they WANT for their kids and all the other stuff they want for their kids and themselves. Private school is not a right. So when I hear of family with kids on aid at multiple schools going to Nantucket for 2 weeks, I get frustrated. Because I would also like to go to Nantucket for 2 weeks but I cant afford it - because I’m paying for my own kids tuition and some of these people’s kids’ tuitions too.

Well, the schools disagree with you. You keep asserting that financial aid is for very low income students, but schools routinely choose not to provide the full rides that those students would need in order to attend. Instead schools provide a few thousand per student, bringing the tuition down only to what regular UMC families can afford.

You need to stop thinking about FA as charity, and realize it's more like a Macy's coupon. Some people pay full price at Macy's because they didn't sign up or are buying something that doesn't qualify, but the majority of purchases are made for less than full price (and yes this affects where they set the full price). This is done to get people in the door and keep the sales volume up. Schools have similar incentives.

Not everyone qualifies to have it and not everyone should qualify to have it. FA should be for families who NEED it because they do not have the assets and income to pay full price tuition.

I wouldn't dream of applying for FA because I know there are families like mine was growing up who ACTUALLY NEED IT.

People keep making comments like this but everything about these comments is purely subjective. Okay, you don’t think these people need it. Clearly the schools think they do for whatever reasons. You aren’t on some moral high ground, you’re just drawing an arbitrary line in the sand that is different from other people’s arbitrary lines in the sand.

The thing is most families at your private are fine with giving FA to UMC people. They want to be able to brag about all the FA their school gives out but they don’t want it going to actual poor people because they would have to deal with actual poor people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Financial aid is not supposed to be for average white kids living in 20816/20815 whose parents haven’t saved any money and don’t make enough to pay for the private school education they WANT for their kids and all the other stuff they want for their kids and themselves. Private school is not a right. So when I hear of family with kids on aid at multiple schools going to Nantucket for 2 weeks, I get frustrated. Because I would also like to go to Nantucket for 2 weeks but I cant afford it - because I’m paying for my own kids tuition and some of these people’s kids’ tuitions too.

Well, the schools disagree with you. You keep asserting that financial aid is for very low income students, but schools routinely choose not to provide the full rides that those students would need in order to attend. Instead schools provide a few thousand per student, bringing the tuition down only to what regular UMC families can afford.

You need to stop thinking about FA as charity, and realize it's more like a Macy's coupon. Some people pay full price at Macy's because they didn't sign up or are buying something that doesn't qualify, but the majority of purchases are made for less than full price (and yes this affects where they set the full price). This is done to get people in the door and keep the sales volume up. Schools have similar incentives.

The difference with a Macy's coupon is that EVERYONE can easily access them and it's very much a cultural norm that everyone uses them regardless if full price is affordable or not. FA is definitely NOT like a Macy's coupon. Not everyone qualifies to have it and not everyone should qualify to have it. FA should be for families who NEED it because they do not have the assets and income to pay full price tuition. To assume that private schools need "coupons" to get people in the door is absurd. Last time I checked the majority of the most desirable privates in the DMV were not struggling to get people in the door so FA definitely was not some kind of enrollment hook. When I was growing up I got to go to a really nice private school in the Northeast and it was only doable for my family because we qualified for generous FA. Actually, I AM proud I can now afford to send my kid to a school and pay full tuition. I wouldn't dream of applying for FA because I know there are families like mine was growing up who ACTUALLY NEED IT. I'm happy to drive an older car and live in a relatively modest house and still pay my fair share - not because I'm too proud to ask for FA but because I fundamentally do not need to ask for it. It is not right that there are people who are gaming the system and taking away resources from people who need it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused why people care who receives financial aid. If people feel as though they can't afford the tuition, apply for aid, regardless of what people on this forum tell you. If you feel as though you can afford tuition without aid, don't apply. At the same time, don't criticize others based on what you see. They've made a decision based on their situation and so should you.

Because these people have been making financial decisions that they view through a moral lens, rather than just whatever is best for them. And then they get mad when their perceived moral superiority doesn’t result in them getting the best outcome over others.

This. They think they are superior humans because they made certain financial decisions that include not resting FA, and are angry that people who made different “inferior” decisions are “rewarded” if they do ask for and receive FA.

Folks, if it bothers you that someone else got aid, YOU CAN ASK FOR IT TOO.

This. Exactly. Just ask for aid yourself if it bothers you so much. Otherwise, mind your business. Stop trying to justify people's decisions, regardless of whether they live in a 500k, 1M, 1.5M, 3M, 5M home. Who cares. If you are worried that your donated dollars aren't going to the right place, don't donate or specify exactly where you would like your contributions to go.