Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the hiding in the cars thing is pathetic

It seems like something only a deeply burned out parent would do. One who is probably asked to do 10,000 “extra” things and the scoreboard is one too many (they probably need to take a work call or write five emails during the game). They got their kid to the game, that has to be enough.

Do you not think the person doing the asking also has work calls, five emails (some about the league!), and 10,000 extra things to do?

Volunteers don't magically have more bandwidth than everyone else. They just make room.

Magically? No. But they have time to volunteer and they have proactively decided to volunteer at that time.

The person you’re mad at not running the scoreboard? How do you know she didn’t just come from (volunteer) coaching swimming? How do you know the emails she needs to do during the game aren’t themselves volunteer work? If you choose to volunteer for soccer that’s great, you don’t get to choose it for everyone else.

OK, if you don't want to volunteer for soccer and the league is about to fold, then you can find a new soccer league I guess. These things don't magically run themselves and if nobody wants to help that's cool - it'll be pay-to-play on the pre-academy U6 team if you want to learn to dribble a soccer ball. Sorry if you can't afford that or didn't want your 5 year old at 2 practices a week. Nobody cared enough to keep rec going.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, it has been rough post Covid trying to get parents to help out.

Everyone still wants their kids to participate though.

I volunteer with our community sports org and we almost had to cancel our rec basketball season last winter because we had 1200 kids signed up to play and only 3 parents total willing to volunteer to help run it (you need a volunteer for each grade/age group). We were also short 20+ coaches and had to get high schoolers and middle schoolers to help out at the last minute because we begged and begged and parents simply would not volunteer to help out.

Following all that work and stress to get the season even started, we couldn't get parents to help out at the games running the clock or the score book. You have a PHD but can't run the basketball clock for a 5th grade house game? People were dropping their kids off for the game and then hiding in their car in the parking lot until the game started to avoid being asked to help out.

Most parents asked point blank will help out. A general call to action via email is likely to be ignored. My husband and I won’t commit to coaching a whole season because we can’t make every practice time and game, but we have filled in for an absent coach, been sideline refs, run scoreboards, helped with concessions, cleaned up the fields or whatever else is asked specifically. I think the highschoolers make great coaches too. The kids look up to them and they have no kids on the team so aren’t biased. Also helps those kids build their community service activities. They are a great untapped resource.

Not the first quoted poster, but another person who helps run a league and I disagree with the bolded. Some parents will volunteer when asked point blank. Some will laugh in your face and act like you couldn't possibly understand their lives (news flash: our family is pretty busy too). Oddly enough it is often the parent with 7 kids and a full time job whose spouse also works who will say yes and the parent with 2 kids and a more flexible job who will say no. Not always, but often.

Also our permitting county wouldn't let us run practice with no one over 18 in charge. High schoolers are great assistant coaches and yes the kids love them, but we can't use them as head coaches. The roles our organization has the most trouble filling all require the person doing them to be over 18. It's not fair to ask a high school kid to be the league scheduler and I don't think I can turn our taxes over to one.

But…you don’t understand their lives.

You’re straight out saying you don’t understand how someone with two kids could be busy and someone with seven has time. Things like a parent dying of cancer come to mind as reasons I, a parent of one child with enough seniority to have flexibility at work, would have spent a soccer game in my car talking to doctors and family members and not running a score board.

Would I have laughed in your face? Probably not but I also wouldn’t think that you, a total stranger, were entitled to know my mother was dying and I was trying to figure out how to maximize my child’s time with her. People do not owe you.

No they don't owe me. But by signing their kid up to play in the league I'm helping run, I would think they should feel like they can give a little time. Or at least not act like their time is so much more precious than mine when they also don't know me. And the laughter is a more common reaction than you might think. Just look at how many people in this thread look down on volunteers - while simultaneously saying it's unfair to take advantage of unpaid labor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the hiding in the cars thing is pathetic

It seems like something only a deeply burned out parent would do. One who is probably asked to do 10,000 “extra” things and the scoreboard is one too many (they probably need to take a work call or write five emails during the game). They got their kid to the game, that has to be enough.

Do you not think the person doing the asking also has work calls, five emails (some about the league!), and 10,000 extra things to do?

Volunteers don't magically have more bandwidth than everyone else. They just make room.

Magically? No. But they have time to volunteer and they have proactively decided to volunteer at that time.

The person you’re mad at not running the scoreboard? How do you know she didn’t just come from (volunteer) coaching swimming? How do you know the emails she needs to do during the game aren’t themselves volunteer work? If you choose to volunteer for soccer that’s great, you don’t get to choose it for everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, it has been rough post Covid trying to get parents to help out.

Everyone still wants their kids to participate though.

I volunteer with our community sports org and we almost had to cancel our rec basketball season last winter because we had 1200 kids signed up to play and only 3 parents total willing to volunteer to help run it (you need a volunteer for each grade/age group). We were also short 20+ coaches and had to get high schoolers and middle schoolers to help out at the last minute because we begged and begged and parents simply would not volunteer to help out.

Following all that work and stress to get the season even started, we couldn't get parents to help out at the games running the clock or the score book. You have a PHD but can't run the basketball clock for a 5th grade house game? People were dropping their kids off for the game and then hiding in their car in the parking lot until the game started to avoid being asked to help out.

Most parents asked point blank will help out. A general call to action via email is likely to be ignored. My husband and I won’t commit to coaching a whole season because we can’t make every practice time and game, but we have filled in for an absent coach, been sideline refs, run scoreboards, helped with concessions, cleaned up the fields or whatever else is asked specifically. I think the highschoolers make great coaches too. The kids look up to them and they have no kids on the team so aren’t biased. Also helps those kids build their community service activities. They are a great untapped resource.

Not the first quoted poster, but another person who helps run a league and I disagree with the bolded. Some parents will volunteer when asked point blank. Some will laugh in your face and act like you couldn't possibly understand their lives (news flash: our family is pretty busy too). Oddly enough it is often the parent with 7 kids and a full time job whose spouse also works who will say yes and the parent with 2 kids and a more flexible job who will say no. Not always, but often.

Also our permitting county wouldn't let us run practice with no one over 18 in charge. High schoolers are great assistant coaches and yes the kids love them, but we can't use them as head coaches. The roles our organization has the most trouble filling all require the person doing them to be over 18. It's not fair to ask a high school kid to be the league scheduler and I don't think I can turn our taxes over to one.

But…you don’t understand their lives.

You’re straight out saying you don’t understand how someone with two kids could be busy and someone with seven has time. Things like a parent dying of cancer come to mind as reasons I, a parent of one child with enough seniority to have flexibility at work, would have spent a soccer game in my car talking to doctors and family members and not running a score board.

Would I have laughed in your face? Probably not but I also wouldn’t think that you, a total stranger, were entitled to know my mother was dying and I was trying to figure out how to maximize my child’s time with her. People do not owe you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the hiding in the cars thing is pathetic

It seems like something only a deeply burned out parent would do. One who is probably asked to do 10,000 “extra” things and the scoreboard is one too many (they probably need to take a work call or write five emails during the game). They got their kid to the game, that has to be enough.

Do you not think the person doing the asking also has work calls, five emails (some about the league!), and 10,000 extra things to do?

Volunteers don't magically have more bandwidth than everyone else. They just make room.

Sometimes volunteers genuinely have more bandwidth than everyone else. But your attitude is very common among the over-achiever parent types that populate PTAs and rec sports leagues in this area. They think "I have a demanding job and my spouse works and I have three kids and I manage it -- why can't everyone else." What they don't realize is that they are extremely high functioning and also may have hidden supports (that demanding job comes with a both a high salary that pays for outsourcing and a lot of prestige and accolades that makes them more confident). They don't get that not all marriages are functional and people in marriages quietly falling apart from the inside genuinely do not have the same amount of bandwidth. They may come from families with high functioning parents and siblings whereas other parents are dealing with a parent who is no longer self-sufficient after the death of a spouse or may have siblings with serious mental health issues or substance problems and the stress of dealing with this stuff can seriously diminish the energy you have for "Teacher Appreciation Week."

If you are able to volunteer extensively without your life falling apart good for you. Consider that there are people who simply do not have anything to give. And you can't just assume that because their family looks similar to yours on a very superficial level that you have the same bandwidth. You don't actually know you are just trying to force people to do what you do. They have other priorities and you need to let it go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, it has been rough post Covid trying to get parents to help out.

Everyone still wants their kids to participate though.

I volunteer with our community sports org and we almost had to cancel our rec basketball season last winter because we had 1200 kids signed up to play and only 3 parents total willing to volunteer to help run it (you need a volunteer for each grade/age group). We were also short 20+ coaches and had to get high schoolers and middle schoolers to help out at the last minute because we begged and begged and parents simply would not volunteer to help out.

Following all that work and stress to get the season even started, we couldn't get parents to help out at the games running the clock or the score book. You have a PHD but can't run the basketball clock for a 5th grade house game? People were dropping their kids off for the game and then hiding in their car in the parking lot until the game started to avoid being asked to help out.

Most parents asked point blank will help out. A general call to action via email is likely to be ignored. My husband and I won’t commit to coaching a whole season because we can’t make every practice time and game, but we have filled in for an absent coach, been sideline refs, run scoreboards, helped with concessions, cleaned up the fields or whatever else is asked specifically. I think the highschoolers make great coaches too. The kids look up to them and they have no kids on the team so aren’t biased. Also helps those kids build their community service activities. They are a great untapped resource.

Not the first quoted poster, but another person who helps run a league and I disagree with the bolded. Some parents will volunteer when asked point blank. Some will laugh in your face and act like you couldn't possibly understand their lives (news flash: our family is pretty busy too). Oddly enough it is often the parent with 7 kids and a full time job whose spouse also works who will say yes and the parent with 2 kids and a more flexible job who will say no. Not always, but often.

Also our permitting county wouldn't let us run practice with no one over 18 in charge. High schoolers are great assistant coaches and yes the kids love them, but we can't use them as head coaches. The roles our organization has the most trouble filling all require the person doing them to be over 18. It's not fair to ask a high school kid to be the league scheduler and I don't think I can turn our taxes over to one.

It’s an established fact that direct requests for help are more successful than indirect requests. People generally want to help but don’t know how. A specific task like the scoreboard, timing, reffing, etc are more likely to get a yes than a no. Of course people will say no, but not everyone and more are likely to help than not. Asking someone to sign up to coach is very big ask and not one many will commit to. They don’t have the time, don’t understand the game, aren’t good with kids, etc, or whatever excuse. And not all leagues have the same rules. My kids have had more than a few high school aged coaches and it’s worked out well.

Sure, but PP strongly indicated direct requests (no one hides in a car to avoid an email) and still was getting nothing. That tracks with my recent experience begging people to please help out with things. Last summer our area all-star tournament was almost canceled because no one would help plan it. Once we did finally cobble together a few people the whole thing wasn't even that hard, and hundreds of kids got an experience out of it.

Interesting that the all star tournament had trouble finding volunteers. In my experience that was full of kids whose parents took on all the volunteer roles and coaching spots to guarantee their kid a spot on those teams. Weird that they would drop the ball when their kids time to shine came.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the hiding in the cars thing is pathetic

It seems like something only a deeply burned out parent would do. One who is probably asked to do 10,000 “extra” things and the scoreboard is one too many (they probably need to take a work call or write five emails during the game). They got their kid to the game, that has to be enough.

I also think if you have people hiding in cars to avoid doing stuff you might want to ask if "no" is ever an acceptable response to a request.

I stopped going to PTA meetings for this reason. I was one of maybe 5% of parents at the school who attended meetings. The low turnout meant that when they were looking for volunteers the board would be highly coercive about getting people in the room to sign up. There were literally times when my name got put on volunteer sign ups after I'd said I had a family or work commitment that conflicted. I felt like I was being punished for being invested enough to actually attend meetings and willing to volunteer when I could by getting "voluntold" to do more than I could. So I stopped going and voila I don't get assigned volunteer duty anymore.

If people are hiding from you to avoid volunteer assignments then maybe you need to do less because you don't have the volunteer bandwidth to accomplish what you are currently attempting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, it has been rough post Covid trying to get parents to help out.

Everyone still wants their kids to participate though.

I volunteer with our community sports org and we almost had to cancel our rec basketball season last winter because we had 1200 kids signed up to play and only 3 parents total willing to volunteer to help run it (you need a volunteer for each grade/age group). We were also short 20+ coaches and had to get high schoolers and middle schoolers to help out at the last minute because we begged and begged and parents simply would not volunteer to help out.

Following all that work and stress to get the season even started, we couldn't get parents to help out at the games running the clock or the score book. You have a PHD but can't run the basketball clock for a 5th grade house game? People were dropping their kids off for the game and then hiding in their car in the parking lot until the game started to avoid being asked to help out.

Most parents asked point blank will help out. A general call to action via email is likely to be ignored. My husband and I won’t commit to coaching a whole season because we can’t make every practice time and game, but we have filled in for an absent coach, been sideline refs, run scoreboards, helped with concessions, cleaned up the fields or whatever else is asked specifically. I think the highschoolers make great coaches too. The kids look up to them and they have no kids on the team so aren’t biased. Also helps those kids build their community service activities. They are a great untapped resource.

Not the first quoted poster, but another person who helps run a league and I disagree with the bolded. Some parents will volunteer when asked point blank. Some will laugh in your face and act like you couldn't possibly understand their lives (news flash: our family is pretty busy too). Oddly enough it is often the parent with 7 kids and a full time job whose spouse also works who will say yes and the parent with 2 kids and a more flexible job who will say no. Not always, but often.

Also our permitting county wouldn't let us run practice with no one over 18 in charge. High schoolers are great assistant coaches and yes the kids love them, but we can't use them as head coaches. The roles our organization has the most trouble filling all require the person doing them to be over 18. It's not fair to ask a high school kid to be the league scheduler and I don't think I can turn our taxes over to one.

It’s an established fact that direct requests for help are more successful than indirect requests. People generally want to help but don’t know how. A specific task like the scoreboard, timing, reffing, etc are more likely to get a yes than a no. Of course people will say no, but not everyone and more are likely to help than not. Asking someone to sign up to coach is very big ask and not one many will commit to. They don’t have the time, don’t understand the game, aren’t good with kids, etc, or whatever excuse. And not all leagues have the same rules. My kids have had more than a few high school aged coaches and it’s worked out well.

Sure, but PP strongly indicated direct requests (no one hides in a car to avoid an email) and still was getting nothing. That tracks with my recent experience begging people to please help out with things. Last summer our area all-star tournament was almost canceled because no one would help plan it. Once we did finally cobble together a few people the whole thing wasn't even that hard, and hundreds of kids got an experience out of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the hiding in the cars thing is pathetic

It seems like something only a deeply burned out parent would do. One who is probably asked to do 10,000 “extra” things and the scoreboard is one too many (they probably need to take a work call or write five emails during the game). They got their kid to the game, that has to be enough.

Do you not think the person doing the asking also has work calls, five emails (some about the league!), and 10,000 extra things to do?

Volunteers don't magically have more bandwidth than everyone else. They just make room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, it has been rough post Covid trying to get parents to help out.

Everyone still wants their kids to participate though.

I volunteer with our community sports org and we almost had to cancel our rec basketball season last winter because we had 1200 kids signed up to play and only 3 parents total willing to volunteer to help run it (you need a volunteer for each grade/age group). We were also short 20+ coaches and had to get high schoolers and middle schoolers to help out at the last minute because we begged and begged and parents simply would not volunteer to help out.

Following all that work and stress to get the season even started, we couldn't get parents to help out at the games running the clock or the score book. You have a PHD but can't run the basketball clock for a 5th grade house game? People were dropping their kids off for the game and then hiding in their car in the parking lot until the game started to avoid being asked to help out.

Most parents asked point blank will help out. A general call to action via email is likely to be ignored. My husband and I won’t commit to coaching a whole season because we can’t make every practice time and game, but we have filled in for an absent coach, been sideline refs, run scoreboards, helped with concessions, cleaned up the fields or whatever else is asked specifically. I think the highschoolers make great coaches too. The kids look up to them and they have no kids on the team so aren’t biased. Also helps those kids build their community service activities. They are a great untapped resource.

Not the first quoted poster, but another person who helps run a league and I disagree with the bolded. Some parents will volunteer when asked point blank. Some will laugh in your face and act like you couldn't possibly understand their lives (news flash: our family is pretty busy too). Oddly enough it is often the parent with 7 kids and a full time job whose spouse also works who will say yes and the parent with 2 kids and a more flexible job who will say no. Not always, but often.

Also our permitting county wouldn't let us run practice with no one over 18 in charge. High schoolers are great assistant coaches and yes the kids love them, but we can't use them as head coaches. The roles our organization has the most trouble filling all require the person doing them to be over 18. It's not fair to ask a high school kid to be the league scheduler and I don't think I can turn our taxes over to one.

It’s an established fact that direct requests for help are more successful than indirect requests. People generally want to help but don’t know how. A specific task like the scoreboard, timing, reffing, etc are more likely to get a yes than a no. Of course people will say no, but not everyone and more are likely to help than not. Asking someone to sign up to coach is very big ask and not one many will commit to. They don’t have the time, don’t understand the game, aren’t good with kids, etc, or whatever excuse. And not all leagues have the same rules. My kids have had more than a few high school aged coaches and it’s worked out well.

Anonymous wrote:the hiding in the cars thing is pathetic

It seems like something only a deeply burned out parent would do. One who is probably asked to do 10,000 “extra” things and the scoreboard is one too many (they probably need to take a work call or write five emails during the game). They got their kid to the game, that has to be enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, it has been rough post Covid trying to get parents to help out.

Everyone still wants their kids to participate though.

I volunteer with our community sports org and we almost had to cancel our rec basketball season last winter because we had 1200 kids signed up to play and only 3 parents total willing to volunteer to help run it (you need a volunteer for each grade/age group). We were also short 20+ coaches and had to get high schoolers and middle schoolers to help out at the last minute because we begged and begged and parents simply would not volunteer to help out.

Following all that work and stress to get the season even started, we couldn't get parents to help out at the games running the clock or the score book. You have a PHD but can't run the basketball clock for a 5th grade house game? People were dropping their kids off for the game and then hiding in their car in the parking lot until the game started to avoid being asked to help out.

Most parents asked point blank will help out. A general call to action via email is likely to be ignored. My husband and I won’t commit to coaching a whole season because we can’t make every practice time and game, but we have filled in for an absent coach, been sideline refs, run scoreboards, helped with concessions, cleaned up the fields or whatever else is asked specifically. I think the highschoolers make great coaches too. The kids look up to them and they have no kids on the team so aren’t biased. Also helps those kids build their community service activities. They are a great untapped resource.

Not the first quoted poster, but another person who helps run a league and I disagree with the bolded. Some parents will volunteer when asked point blank. Some will laugh in your face and act like you couldn't possibly understand their lives (news flash: our family is pretty busy too). Oddly enough it is often the parent with 7 kids and a full time job whose spouse also works who will say yes and the parent with 2 kids and a more flexible job who will say no. Not always, but often.

Also our permitting county wouldn't let us run practice with no one over 18 in charge. High schoolers are great assistant coaches and yes the kids love them, but we can't use them as head coaches. The roles our organization has the most trouble filling all require the person doing them to be over 18. It's not fair to ask a high school kid to be the league scheduler and I don't think I can turn our taxes over to one.

Anonymous wrote:yes, it has been rough post Covid trying to get parents to help out.

Everyone still wants their kids to participate though.

I volunteer with our community sports org and we almost had to cancel our rec basketball season last winter because we had 1200 kids signed up to play and only 3 parents total willing to volunteer to help run it (you need a volunteer for each grade/age group). We were also short 20+ coaches and had to get high schoolers and middle schoolers to help out at the last minute because we begged and begged and parents simply would not volunteer to help out.

Following all that work and stress to get the season even started, we couldn't get parents to help out at the games running the clock or the score book. You have a PHD but can't run the basketball clock for a 5th grade house game? People were dropping their kids off for the game and then hiding in their car in the parking lot until the game started to avoid being asked to help out.

That’s terrible. As an active volunteer and parent whose kids are now in college, one of my takeaways from the pandemic was that it’s a good idea to prioritize and support community organizations for our kids, even at the expense of schools. These organizations exist for the benefit of kids, and it’s critical to have these opportunities for socialization and activity not dependent on public school policies and decisions.

Anonymous wrote:yes, it has been rough post Covid trying to get parents to help out.

Everyone still wants their kids to participate though.

I volunteer with our community sports org and we almost had to cancel our rec basketball season last winter because we had 1200 kids signed up to play and only 3 parents total willing to volunteer to help run it (you need a volunteer for each grade/age group). We were also short 20+ coaches and had to get high schoolers and middle schoolers to help out at the last minute because we begged and begged and parents simply would not volunteer to help out.

Following all that work and stress to get the season even started, we couldn't get parents to help out at the games running the clock or the score book. You have a PHD but can't run the basketball clock for a 5th grade house game? People were dropping their kids off for the game and then hiding in their car in the parking lot until the game started to avoid being asked to help out.

Most parents asked point blank will help out. A general call to action via email is likely to be ignored. My husband and I won’t commit to coaching a whole season because we can’t make every practice time and game, but we have filled in for an absent coach, been sideline refs, run scoreboards, helped with concessions, cleaned up the fields or whatever else is asked specifically. I think the highschoolers make great coaches too. The kids look up to them and they have no kids on the team so aren’t biased. Also helps those kids build their community service activities. They are a great untapped resource.

the hiding in the cars thing is pathetic