Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

Why don’t tennis lessons involve socializing? They could be group lessons

Sports practice doesn't involve a ton of socializing because you're busy practicing.

They still talk and have fun while practicing. Sports are a great way to get social time. Some of my teen DD’s best friends are from her club team.

My rising sophomore spent 3 weeks at pretty intense camp. Now he’s just chilling at home, playing a ton of piano at home and with his jazz trio and hanging out with friends. And sleeping, lots of it. We will take a three week vacation and he will do nothing structured for a couple of weeks before school starts. Probably more piano, XC practice with his teammates and spending time with friends. Summers are short and we’d like to spend time before he goes off to college.

Some structure is healthy, and the young teens is a good time to try new things. DS (14) has 2 new activities this summer and one activity he's been doing for a while. He has a project for the summer, and we talk about getting that done in steps in week. He's also required to volunteer at least two hours each week.

All-in-all that's 12 hours each week, so plenty of free time. His activities are fun, so not necessarily "work" but he has to get there and back on his own. He likes the independence and is getting out there, so I think he's gaining confidence about managing time, being responsible, etc.

Each kid is different, but I think some goals or responsibilities of any kind are helpful at that age to build confidence and independence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

Why don’t tennis lessons involve socializing? They could be group lessons

Sports practice doesn't involve a ton of socializing because you're busy practicing.

Sounds like a person who has never seen a group of teen boys playing a sport.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Who wouldn't want their kid to have at least a little bit of a udyllic, carefree childhood? Because adulthood sure isn't.

My kids do have an idyllic childhood.... At camp

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Why wouldn't you want that for your kid?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Who wouldn't want their kid to have at least a little bit of a udyllic, carefree childhood? Because adulthood sure isn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

The summer is only about 6 weeks. Toss in a family vacation or two and that can leave only 4 weeks. It’s not that much.

How is it only six weeks? My kids have nine weeks off school

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

The summer is only about 6 weeks. Toss in a family vacation or two and that can leave only 4 weeks. It’s not that much.

I feel like the running trend in thos thread is all work, no play especially for teens. But, how did ppl get like that? Learning about responsibility and hard work is a good thing, but so is a childhood, which imo is essential. Plenty of time for work and responsibility in adulthood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

Why don’t tennis lessons involve socializing? They could be group lessons

Sports practice doesn't involve a ton of socializing because you're busy practicing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

Why don’t tennis lessons involve socializing? They could be group lessons

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

Anonymous wrote:My kids didn't do much at that age. No one was available to drive them all over the place in the middle of the work day. It was hard enough navigating band camp in the eweeks leading up to 9th grade.

In our experience, camps typically wanted CITs to be former camp attendees anyway. They never did local day camps.

Neither one was barred from attending the college of their choice due to having a lazy summer at age 14.

Thank you, PP. Maybe everyone on DCUM lives within easy walking distance of countless jobs and volunteer opportunities, or maybe people's WFH jobs have plenty of time to be out and about during the day, but I never understand why more people don't mention how taxing and time-consuming it is to drive kids all over the place for these activities during the workday. When my kids were that age, there were no jobs that would hire them within walking distance, and volunteer opportunities required adult supervision for those under 16. I love the idea of having teens gain work experience, but the options out there tended to increase our parental stress and workload so much that it wasn't worth it.