Sorry you are struggling with this, OP. We took a break from the group things. It was not setting our DC up for success and was bad for his self esteem to constantly be the kid "in trouble" or getting redirected.
We tried again and found more success when he was 9 ish in specialized camps (Sequoia and SOAR) combined with the right mix of supportive therapy and medication.

Anonymous wrote:Can you find a teenage boy in your neighborhood and have him essentially ware him out each day. Long bike rides, playing in the woods, etc. Your child spends all day in a very structured environment, they don’t need that after school, weekends, or summer. And don’t put them in an activity when you know the meds have worn off, no instructional person can manage a class and kids coming down off their meds.

Teenagers just got my kid kicked out of our entire pool and tennis club for now. Be afraid of teenagers, they lure your kids into a false sense of friendship and security then bam straight to leadership as soon as things go south or anything remotely difficult happens.

Try going to Neural Movement sessions with either Reza or Adriana. They have done wonders for my now 11 year old. Started at 5. OCD/hyperactive/Autism

OP, I so wish I could help you more because I’ve been right where you are and our kids sound very similar. Mine has epilepsy and a genetic disorder. Before 5 and up until a round 8 was miserable. We started adhd meds at 4, and couldn’t do activities other than with a one on one. To the posters that asked about this there are tons of these in the DMV, from tae
Kwon do to horseback riding. It was often really hard. We kept doing sports though because it was a positive outlet for him but as a parent it was often hard to watch. Today he is on a travel team for baseball and is inconsistent but sometimes great. We also did private school to get him the equivalent of a self contained class room. Our school district was similar to yours and we knew it would be an unmitigated disaster. I get that may be cost prohibitive. We private paid to do ABA and speech and OT. Do all the speech you can. Basically we also just tried it all. I so get wanting to be done and if it’s not safe that is what you should do. He’s not getting anything out of it then and it’s okay to wait. In the meantime get extra therapy. The OT and speech and behavior therapy we did eventually helped. Swimming helped. We had many med changes but his ADHD and his impulsivity was unchanged until around 9. He’s still a tough kid. He’s super rude and difficult right now. He’s often doing odd stuff. But he goes to school and he plays sports and goes to camp. And I’m telling you, I posted on here once a week when he was 5, and I was in the same I’ve tried it all and angry at the world mindset. What happened to me was that I couldn’t keep up that level of anxiety and sadness. I have other kids and a life and I wasn’t going down with the ship. I’ve learned to compartmentalize. It’s necessary. All this to say hang in there. Time is the greatest game changer for kids like this.