Anonymous wrote:My ambition rose in college. I was busy with sports in high school, and my grades were not impressive. In college and grad school, they were much better. My career has been more successful than the kids who got better grades than me in high school. I don't think I'm atypical of kids who were into sports in high school.

I’m the exact opposite. I had the kind of academic stats that DCUM swoons over in high school, and then I realized in college that I didn’t have the career ambition to match and I fizzled out. It’s sort of led to decades of vague disappointment in myself.

Thanks to FB, I can see that people who didn’t do nearly as well academically in high school seem to be doing just fine across the board. More than fine in most cases.

Marriage is a bad deal for most educated women.

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Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

You are out of touch or in denial. Millie Bobby Brown, age 20, just married last month. It’s become cool to marry young.

Just keep citing examples of individuals to prove a point about groups. You sound dumb.

Millie is an A list zoomer actress. The Ritchie girl is an A list zoomer influencer. You’re old and out of touch.

Is that bad?

They both married recording industry nepo babies. This is our upper crust? Baby Jovi? Even for anecdata this is weak.

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Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

lol
So true. The OP is a backwards provincial mom stuck on this board with grown and flown children….
Hmmm. What does that tell you.

The upper classes all over the US actually do marry in their mid to late 20s, statistically. It the middle and UMC that marry in their early to mid 30s. The LC marry young and multiple times.

Ummm. Try again. And this tells us you are an immigrant.

You’re projecting, probably because you married late or your kids are still drifting. Smart annd ambitious Gen Zs are marrying much earlier than Gen Y millennials.

The majority of kids labeled gen Z are under the age of 21. The youngest is still in elementary school. Calm down.

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Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

You are out of touch or in denial. Millie Bobby Brown, age 20, just married last month. It’s become cool to marry young.

Just keep citing examples of individuals to prove a point about groups. You sound dumb.

Millie is an A list zoomer actress. The Ritchie girl is an A list zoomer influencer. You’re old and out of touch.

Is that bad?

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

Okay

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

If your kid isn't at the top of their high school class, then they will just "middle" the rest of their lives? Nonsense!

OP has never met a kid who really took off in college, or a young adult who really found their footing in the workplace? I can count lots of young adults who were academics and never quite got a career worth anything -- thinking of one Harvard grad (valedictorian of hs class) who has gone bankrupt a few times and lives in his parents house with his kids at age 50!, the 34 old Cornell grad working retail, and the Yale alum (4 years out) working as a Barista. Whereas I know a '22 Loyola Maryland grad (middle of the pack in hs) now working for Deloitte making $150k, getting promoted and traveling well in her free time, a George Mason '24 grad (also no star in high school) who is starting his career next month at SAIC making $85k, and finally the finance kid from Grinnell (upper middle in high school) who is now doing great at Cap One.

Yes, some people peak later. Not everyone lives in the tiny bubble that the OP does. Why she felt the need to post her limited view of who has the capability of being successful is beyond me.

It’s logical that the smart Ivy League graduates are successful and doing well, no news there. You’re wrong about the middle of the pack as you call them. There’s no possibility that they are all doing poorly. What a stereotype.

Since you’re giving anecdotal examples I have two nieces who are doing extremely well with their jobs at start ups. They both make mid six figures with commissions and salaries. They both work with products that corporations need so easy working conditions.
One niece is a college drop out from a not so great school. The other niece has a degree in hospitality

Like the other post people who do poorly in school can still succeed with a great work ethic and attitude.

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Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

You are out of touch or in denial. Millie Bobby Brown, age 20, just married last month. It’s become cool to marry young.

No, I’m just smart enough to realize that 2-3 examples of people marrying young does not equal a trend. You need to look at some statistics. If you do, you’ll see that average age of first marriage in the US is in the early 30s for women w masters or professional degrees. I couldn’t find statistics that specifically broke down age at first marriage by income level or socioeconomic status but I thought education level often corresponds w income level so it’s a pretty reliable statistic for the purposes of this discussion.

Of course there are examples of upper class people marrying young as cited here w a few random famous people and some anecdotes about HYPS kids that posters knew marrying young that is not a “trend” and it’s certainly not the norm. It’s just a few outliers, statistically speaking.

Sure but young marriages are now a TikTok trend.

This has to be somebody having a laugh

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Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

You are out of touch or in denial. Millie Bobby Brown, age 20, just married last month. It’s become cool to marry young.

Post of the day! Very rational argument. Who is Millie Bobby Brown just out of curiosity?

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Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

You are out of touch or in denial. Millie Bobby Brown, age 20, just married last month. It’s become cool to marry young.

No, I’m just smart enough to realize that 2-3 examples of people marrying young does not equal a trend. You need to look at some statistics. If you do, you’ll see that average age of first marriage in the US is in the early 30s for women w masters or professional degrees. I couldn’t find statistics that specifically broke down age at first marriage by income level or socioeconomic status but I thought education level often corresponds w income level so it’s a pretty reliable statistic for the purposes of this discussion.

Of course there are examples of upper class people marrying young as cited here w a few random famous people and some anecdotes about HYPS kids that posters knew marrying young that is not a “trend” and it’s certainly not the norm. It’s just a few outliers, statistically speaking.

Sure but young marriages are now a TikTok trend.

My ambition rose in college. I was busy with sports in high school, and my grades were not impressive. In college and grad school, they were much better. My career has been more successful than the kids who got better grades than me in high school. I don't think I'm atypical of kids who were into sports in high school.

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Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

You are out of touch or in denial. Millie Bobby Brown, age 20, just married last month. It’s become cool to marry young.

Just keep citing examples of individuals to prove a point about groups. You sound dumb.

Millie is an A list zoomer actress. The Ritchie girl is an A list zoomer influencer. You’re old and out of touch.

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

Strivers living through their kids don’t want to hear this but it’s pretty accurate.

what a great story OP