Anonymous
05/02/2025 10:45
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
And I figure it won't matter because I'm sure men will forever be stuck with this role whether they hate it or not
Anonymous
04/25/2025 17:12
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
IME, often women make the first move by making the man think it was his idea. So sometimes it’s hard to tell.
Anonymous
04/25/2025 15:42
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
Anonymous wrote:While women do sometimes make the first move, it tends to only happen when the man is considered physically attractive.
In terms of who typically gets approached the most, it generally follows a pattern: attractive women are approached the most, followed by attractive men, then average-looking women, less conventionally attractive women, average men, and finally, men who are perceived as unattractive.
Actually the attractive man is approached way more vs an attractive woman. It’s just a number thing. A study in 2019 found that men swiped right on 61.9% of women on Tinder but women on average only swiped right on 4.5% of men. Other studies have shown women see 80% of men as unattractive.
So a few men get all the attention. It’s like the top 5% of men get 90% of the matches on dating sights. IRL the top 5% percentage of men get hit on all the time.
Anonymous
04/25/2025 15:06
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
Anonymous wrote:I have made the first move before and I found that in those relationships (or maybe just situationships?), the men just weren't as into me. I think that the dynamic where a woman is more into the man than he is into her is a recipe for disaster. For good relationships, a man needs to be really into the woman because men don't tend to invest in relationships as much as women naturally do. But a man will bend over backward to make a woman happy if he is really into her.
Obviously there are many happy relationships where the woman has made the first move and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. But at some point I stopped making the first move and I'm glad I did. If a man didn't make the first move, I knew that a) he couldn't pick up on social cues b) he didn't feel capable of handling rejection or c) he just wasn't into me.
This is the answer.
I remember when I was 19 I made the first move on a guy. He was a very shy nerd who had never had a girlfriend (cousin's friend) and my cousin encouraged me to go for it since he'd be so thrilled. He was pleasantly surprised and went along with it but it was only a couple months before he was complaining that I basically wasn't his type. He ended up ending things because "I've realized I prefer Asian women" and stayed single for a few years after that until he found his dream girl.
The man needs to be crazy about the woman or he won't treat her well.
Anonymous
04/25/2025 14:46
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately OP the average man unlike the average woman will not have a woman approaching him. These men being approached by women are often very charismatic charming attractive etc. Women have the opposite problem any bozo will approach them.
A shy woman will be approached for example but a shy man never. If you are a man who is shy skinny good luck your only option is OLD. Dating is brutal.
Don’t knock OLD. I met my husband that way. He’s skinny and shy.
But I assume he was the one that asked you out and hit on you
Anonymous
04/23/2025 18:26
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
While women do sometimes make the first move, it tends to only happen when the man is considered physically attractive.
In terms of who typically gets approached the most, it generally follows a pattern: attractive women are approached the most, followed by attractive men, then average-looking women, less conventionally attractive women, average men, and finally, men who are perceived as unattractive.
In terms of who typically gets approached the most, it generally follows a pattern: attractive women are approached the most, followed by attractive men, then average-looking women, less conventionally attractive women, average men, and finally, men who are perceived as unattractive.
Anonymous
04/23/2025 18:16
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
Man here and I like it the way it is. I don't think most men would like it the other way around. Be careful what you wish for. It's the way it is for good reason.
Anonymous
04/23/2025 16:48
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
Anonymous wrote:OP is not wrong. While some of you have had women who made the first move good for you. In the real word though men are still expected to ask a girl out. Men are still expected to propose to a woman. Lets us not use outliers and claim that it's equal because it is not.
+ 1 million
Anonymous
04/23/2025 16:45
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
Agree. Also what another poster said, men will have sex with almost any woman who is interested in him.Anonymous wrote:Because men and women are different.
Anonymous
04/23/2025 16:35
Subject: Why are men still expected to make the first move?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately OP the average man unlike the average woman will not have a woman approaching him. These men being approached by women are often very charismatic charming attractive etc. Women have the opposite problem any bozo will approach them.
A shy woman will be approached for example but a shy man never. If you are a man who is shy skinny good luck your only option is OLD. Dating is brutal.
Don’t knock OLD. I met my husband that way. He’s skinny and shy.