Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:56     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:99% of Americans do not earn 180$ a year. This is the weirdest question i have ever read on DCUM.


This is spectacularly false. It’s not even a top 10% income in a lot of places anymore.


Do you really believe that?


Look it up, lazybones.


DP. I took a look a look and the sources I found either show the top 5%, or they show the top 10% of household income. Given what I found so far it doesn't look like 180k is not within the top 10% in most places. Even if 180k wasn't in the 10% but in the 20%, that would still mean that at least 80% of people do not make that much money. This is exactly what some posters are telling OP.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:56     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.
Sounds like he would be the one to sah.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:51     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you might have unrealistic expectations about having an affluent lifestyle as a SAHM. If that truly is your priority, then you obviously need to find a spouse who can not only deliver that, but is also cool with being the breadwinner supporting a SAHM.

Hint: a lot of men say they want that until they feel the stress of shouldering the financial burden alone.

If you are young, attractive, and educated, you might find this unicorn of a spouse. If not, then adjust your priorities.

How old are you?

Despite what you think, women don’t easily get pregnant after 35. If your clock is ticking, then adjust your priorities.

You're actually very wrong about that. 35 is an arbitrary age based on a small sample of French data from like 100 years ago.


As a DC professional, I can’t tell you how many women I’ve known IRL who struggled to have a baby after 35. Tons.


My entire group of friends (8 women) had their babies in their late 30s and NONE of them had to use fertility doctors.


You don't have to use a fertility doctor to get a fertility workup and use prescription fertility meds. Your obgyn can handle that. Doesn't mean it didn't take some intervention. It's not something everyone wants to share.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:48     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A guy I’ve been dating is everything I want with the exception of his income. His income will likely never change and grow. I know money doesn’t equal happiness and it’s not super important in the grand scheme of things, but it’s important for the life I envision. I want the ability to stay at home when I have kids, give kids a comfortable life, retire, etc. Should I overlook it?


I would not overlook this or be comfortable in this situation. I need a man who will take care of me financially.


And he wants someone younger than you.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:44     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
First thing that pops up on google: once a woman is over 35, her chances dropped to less than 30 percent chance of conceiving on their most fertile day.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:41     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Got pregnant within 2 months of going off BC at 36 and 39.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:40     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you might have unrealistic expectations about having an affluent lifestyle as a SAHM. If that truly is your priority, then you obviously need to find a spouse who can not only deliver that, but is also cool with being the breadwinner supporting a SAHM.

Hint: a lot of men say they want that until they feel the stress of shouldering the financial burden alone.

If you are young, attractive, and educated, you might find this unicorn of a spouse. If not, then adjust your priorities.

How old are you?

Despite what you think, women don’t easily get pregnant after 35. If your clock is ticking, then adjust your priorities.

You're actually very wrong about that. 35 is an arbitrary age based on a small sample of French data from like 100 years ago.


As a DC professional, I can’t tell you how many women I’ve known IRL who struggled to have a baby after 35. Tons.


My entire group of friends (8 women) had their babies in their late 30s and NONE of them had to use fertility doctors.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:40     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
To the PP who easily had a baby at 40:

I went to HSYP from a low-income family and my mom didn't finish high school. That doesn't mean that people from low-income families and parents with little formal education are likely to get into HSYP. SMH.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 19:38     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
"As a DC professional, I can’t tell you how many women I’ve known IRL who struggled to have a baby after 35. Tons."

I've seen the same thing. You just don't realize it because most people don't tell everyone they're doing IVF. I had my only child just before 40 (got pregnant immediately with no help) and almost lost the baby about halfway through the pregnancy. Had to go on bedrest. I'm the granddaughter of a woman who had 10 healthy children, and the daughter of a woman who had four. I'm pretty sure that the odds of having a healthy baby after 35 are much higher if it's not your first, as was the case for my grandmother. Even if you get pregnant easily, you might not make it through the pregnancy with a healthy baby.

Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 18:49     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Had a first baby easily at 40. YMMV.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 18:48     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:99% of Americans do not earn 180$ a year. This is the weirdest question i have ever read on DCUM.


This is spectacularly false. It’s not even a top 10% income in a lot of places anymore.


Do you really believe that?


Look it up, lazybones.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 18:25     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you might have unrealistic expectations about having an affluent lifestyle as a SAHM. If that truly is your priority, then you obviously need to find a spouse who can not only deliver that, but is also cool with being the breadwinner supporting a SAHM.

Hint: a lot of men say they want that until they feel the stress of shouldering the financial burden alone.

If you are young, attractive, and educated, you might find this unicorn of a spouse. If not, then adjust your priorities.

How old are you?

Despite what you think, women don’t easily get pregnant after 35. If your clock is ticking, then adjust your priorities.

You're actually very wrong about that. 35 is an arbitrary age based on a small sample of French data from like 100 years ago.


As a DC professional, I can’t tell you how many women I’ve known IRL who struggled to have a baby after 35. Tons.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 18:24     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
I am the breadwinner in my family and my husband has a stable job that allows him to work from home full time. He is on kid duty when I'm at work. He also cooks and cleans. Oh, and the sex is hot, hot, hot. #sorrynotsorry
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 18:23     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:I think you might have unrealistic expectations about having an affluent lifestyle as a SAHM. If that truly is your priority, then you obviously need to find a spouse who can not only deliver that, but is also cool with being the breadwinner supporting a SAHM.

Hint: a lot of men say they want that until they feel the stress of shouldering the financial burden alone.

If you are young, attractive, and educated, you might find this unicorn of a spouse. If not, then adjust your priorities.

How old are you?

Despite what you think, women don’t easily get pregnant after 35. If your clock is ticking, then adjust your priorities.

You're actually very wrong about that. 35 is an arbitrary age based on a small sample of French data from like 100 years ago.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2024 18:21     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:99% of Americans do not earn 180$ a year. This is the weirdest question i have ever read on DCUM.


This is spectacularly false. It’s not even a top 10% income in a lot of places anymore.


Do you really believe that?