Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

+1 lol at the ^PP who thinks they did it right by getting FA.

Excuse us, but we saved, too, and can afford $50/yr, but we are a donuthole family who gets zilch. We can easily float in state, and maybe cheaper oos, but not the $90K/yr school that ^PP's kid is going to. We also have more than one kid.

There aren't that many great in state options where we are, so even if we look oos, we are restricted to a small number of decent schools for $50K/year.

Calling yourself a donut hole family is a bit of a joke as you have a comfortable salary and choose what you decided to save. Your income has to be pretty high to save that.

Exactly!
As well--there are many many decent schools for $50K/year. Outside of T50, most privates (and many OOS publics) will offer excellent merit to top/good students. There are over 4000 universities in this country. If you want affordable, there will be many excellent options in the T200 alone, and really in the T100.

Well, yes, I stated as much, that DCs are and will be going to a school that's < $50k/year. But, that wasn't the point to the ^PP who said that "they did everything right and can afford an expensive college because they are getting $$ in aid".

Point is, we saved, too, more than that ^PP, but we won't get any aid.

No one in their right mind would pay $200K for a T100 below school. That's a dumb use of money. If I'm paying $200K for a degree, it should be at least a somewhat good school.

Also, you are saying that in order to get any aid, your kid has to be super high achieving.

So, we have all these caveats to "your kid can still go to an expensive school".

newsflash: if your kid has the resume for most $85K+ schools, they will get excellent merit at most schools ranked 60+, and if you go 100+ the merit will be even better. So your kid will not be paying $200K to attend college at a school ranked #120. You do NOT have to be "super high stats" to get merit.

Also, my 26ACT, 3.5UW, 1 AP (which they got a D in first Semester senior year) got 35% of tuition with merit at two schools ranked ~80. This is my "Bs are okay and Cs will get degrees ultimately" kid. Those schools cost $40-42K/year (overall cost of $65K) (they attended one). Also got into one ranked ~120, also $65K overall, with merit was $30K. That's not a "high stats kid". That's a ~75-80% kid, who got excellent merit at several schools---the #120 was where my kid was 80-85% overall, so they got great merit. Others they were ~50% and got good merit. They also had 2 instate schools (ranked ~100-130natinonally) that would have cost less than $20K with their merit (automatic merit). So yes, your "non-high stats" kid can definately attend an expensive school with great merit. Just have to find the one at the right level for them to get it.

My High stats kid (1480, 3.98U, 8AP) got $42K/year from a T50 school (total cost was then $42-43K) Higher stats means the good merit starts at a much higher level. Also got $25K/year at a T35 that gives some but not a ton of merit. But ultimately got rejected/WL at 3 T30 schools. So obviously no merit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

+1 lol at the ^PP who thinks they did it right by getting FA.

Excuse us, but we saved, too, and can afford $50/yr, but we are a donuthole family who gets zilch. We can easily float in state, and maybe cheaper oos, but not the $90K/yr school that ^PP's kid is going to. We also have more than one kid.

There aren't that many great in state options where we are, so even if we look oos, we are restricted to a small number of decent schools for $50K/year.

Calling yourself a donut hole family is a bit of a joke as you have a comfortable salary and choose what you decided to save. Your income has to be pretty high to save that.

Exactly!
As well--there are many many decent schools for $50K/year. Outside of T50, most privates (and many OOS publics) will offer excellent merit to top/good students. There are over 4000 universities in this country. If you want affordable, there will be many excellent options in the T200 alone, and really in the T100.

Well, yes, I stated as much, that DCs are and will be going to a school that's < $50k/year. But, that wasn't the point to the ^PP who said that "they did everything right and can afford an expensive college because they are getting $$ in aid".

Point is, we saved, too, more than that ^PP, but we won't get any aid.

No one in their right mind would pay $200K for a T100 below school. That's a dumb use of money. If I'm paying $200K for a degree, it should be at least a somewhat good school.

Also, you are saying that in order to get any aid, your kid has to be super high achieving.

So, we have all these caveats to "your kid can still go to an expensive school".

I am that PP. Why duch a beef with my kid's aid? You are saying YOU did everything right, but you never say how much you make which seems to be a lot.

If you have extensive health expenses, that is considered in CSS, and you should get some aid if under 250k. So how much do you really make? And, why is it cool to go off on someone for getting need based aud. We have more need than you and less ability to save towards the cost. Why the grudge?
This just feels so entitled.

Anonymous wrote:I realize many on DCUM are wealthy, but what about vast swaths of the US?
90k for college??! Who is paying this? It is daunting.

Sincerely,
A regular person

It could be any combination of below to get to the 90K
529 plans/with good rate of return and having saved since birth
Partially cash-flow and enrolling in 10 month payment plan
reducing contributions for retirement
Borrowing against home equity
Parent PLUS and federal student loans
Inheritance
Grandparents helping out
Scholarships - either college merit scholarships or external

And if you don’t have those items above hopefully you are qualifying for need-based aid at a school with generous meets 100% need aid. If you do have access to any sort of assets - schools expect you to spend that down/tap into it first before they give any aid even if as a parent it doesn’t make sense to stop saving for retirement or take out big loans at 53 years old. Often you see the kid doesn’t go to the 90K per year school if parent loans need to be involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

+1 lol at the ^PP who thinks they did it right by getting FA.

Excuse us, but we saved, too, and can afford $50/yr, but we are a donuthole family who gets zilch. We can easily float in state, and maybe cheaper oos, but not the $90K/yr school that ^PP's kid is going to. We also have more than one kid.

There aren't that many great in state options where we are, so even if we look oos, we are restricted to a small number of decent schools for $50K/year.

Calling yourself a donut hole family is a bit of a joke as you have a comfortable salary and choose what you decided to save. Your income has to be pretty high to save that.

? yes, we saved that but that's all we saved. College costs are crazy and will only get crazier.

what you are saying is that we should be saving more for college and not for our retirement, even though we are closer to retirement age, and we are self employed so we have to buy our own health insurance, which is expensive. We probably spend $20K/year on healthcare costs. We don't drive expensive cars. We don't have family money. And actually, I help my family financially. My mother has dementia and my father is 90; they are immigrants who don't speak English, so you can imagine how much I am having to help them.

It's disingenuous for that PP to claim that they did everything right and are getting $$ in aid. The only thing they did "right" is that they didn't make that much so they get a lot in aid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

+1 lol at the ^PP who thinks they did it right by getting FA.

Excuse us, but we saved, too, and can afford $50/yr, but we are a donuthole family who gets zilch. We can easily float in state, and maybe cheaper oos, but not the $90K/yr school that ^PP's kid is going to. We also have more than one kid.

There aren't that many great in state options where we are, so even if we look oos, we are restricted to a small number of decent schools for $50K/year.

Calling yourself a donut hole family is a bit of a joke as you have a comfortable salary and choose what you decided to save. Your income has to be pretty high to save that.

Exactly!
As well--there are many many decent schools for $50K/year. Outside of T50, most privates (and many OOS publics) will offer excellent merit to top/good students. There are over 4000 universities in this country. If you want affordable, there will be many excellent options in the T200 alone, and really in the T100.

Well, yes, I stated as much, that DCs are and will be going to a school that's < $50k/year. But, that wasn't the point to the ^PP who said that "they did everything right and can afford an expensive college because they are getting $$ in aid".

Point is, we saved, too, more than that ^PP, but we won't get any aid.

No one in their right mind would pay $200K for a T100 below school. That's a dumb use of money. If I'm paying $200K for a degree, it should be at least a somewhat good school.

Also, you are saying that in order to get any aid, your kid has to be super high achieving.

So, we have all these caveats to "your kid can still go to an expensive school".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

+1 lol at the ^PP who thinks they did it right by getting FA.

Excuse us, but we saved, too, and can afford $50/yr, but we are a donuthole family who gets zilch. We can easily float in state, and maybe cheaper oos, but not the $90K/yr school that ^PP's kid is going to. We also have more than one kid.

There aren't that many great in state options where we are, so even if we look oos, we are restricted to a small number of decent schools for $50K/year.

Calling yourself a donut hole family is a bit of a joke as you have a comfortable salary and choose what you decided to save. Your income has to be pretty high to save that.

Exactly!
As well--there are many many decent schools for $50K/year. Outside of T50, most privates (and many OOS publics) will offer excellent merit to top/good students. There are over 4000 universities in this country. If you want affordable, there will be many excellent options in the T200 alone, and really in the T100.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

Why are you so uppity? You clearly make MUCH more money than we do, if you don't qualify for any aid at Ivies. Even friends making over 200k got 40-50k at Ivies. We make considerably less than that. We also fully fund our retirement. If it were just DH, we wouldn't have saved what we did. I am the thrifty. And, made good choices like not paying down mortgage, refi for 2% during pandemic and investing more.
Do you make 150k/year? Then you should be getting FA (unless state school). If you make more than 250k, what did you do with you money?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's no longer true that the bright daughter of two public-school teachers can afford to attend an Ivy or other elite private university. Schools like that just don't want students from such financially mediocre families. The doughnut hole comes up quickly for middle-aged cops, nurses, teachers, and many others with a dual-income HHI of 200K, a sad little 529, and an inner-ring ranch house as total cost of attendance at Penn approaches $100,000/year.

It's more true now then then.

For one, there was less aid for middle class thrn. Also, a lower chance that a kud of two unconnected teachers would get into an Ivy.

We are on the equivalent of 2 teachers' salaries, and Ivies are very affordable for us.

???

I meant that the "bright daughter" has a better shot at admission and FA niw than back then. Back then very few middle class unconnected people were getting in. Now, it may be harder overall, but there is less emphasis on legacy, school pipelines and connections. Also, better aid for middle class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

Most likely you are MUCH better set for retirement savings than the person making slightly less than you who is getting "60K" to attend an elite college. They scrimped and saved and likely didn't pay down the mortgage and didn't save enough for retirement and lived with even less for the last 20 years.

Ironically, most of you are complaining about paying for schools that your kid most likely wont even gain admission to.

That's not an example of irony. And our kids are very competitive for those schools. They're coming from the large, competitive publics and the magnets from across the country. The New Triers. The Boston Latins. They worked damn hard and they deserve a shot like any other hardworking and brilliant student. But for them, and for them only, elite colleges are not affordable.

They have the shot "they deserve". They can apply and choose to pay/take out loans.

Or they can do the smart thing and choose to attend a great college at a rate that's affordable for them and wont leave them with massive debt.

Just because you work hard does not entitle you to admission and money from the college.
It's not the govt that is providing this money. It is the individual college that chooses how to distribute financial aid (and merit, but the T20 don't really do merit).

I work hard, I want to drive a BMW and live in waterfront property in Annapolis and have a boat. Does that mean I'm entitled to the $2M+ home just because I want it?

Answer: NOPE

Do you complain that some people get to live in Section 8/subsidized housing and you dont' get a subsidy each month for your housing?

+100000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

Most likely you are MUCH better set for retirement savings than the person making slightly less than you who is getting "60K" to attend an elite college. They scrimped and saved and likely didn't pay down the mortgage and didn't save enough for retirement and lived with even less for the last 20 years.

Ironically, most of you are complaining about paying for schools that your kid most likely wont even gain admission to.

That's not an example of irony. And our kids are very competitive for those schools. They're coming from the large, competitive publics and the magnets from across the country. The New Triers. The Boston Latins. They worked damn hard and they deserve a shot like any other hardworking and brilliant student. But for them, and for them only, elite colleges are not affordable.

They have the shot "they deserve". They can apply and choose to pay/take out loans.

Or they can do the smart thing and choose to attend a great college at a rate that's affordable for them and wont leave them with massive debt.

Just because you work hard does not entitle you to admission and money from the college.
It's not the govt that is providing this money. It is the individual college that chooses how to distribute financial aid (and merit, but the T20 don't really do merit).

I work hard, I want to drive a BMW and live in waterfront property in Annapolis and have a boat. Does that mean I'm entitled to the $2M+ home just because I want it?

Answer: NOPE

Do you complain that some people get to live in Section 8/subsidized housing and you dont' get a subsidy each month for your housing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

Most likely you are MUCH better set for retirement savings than the person making slightly less than you who is getting "60K" to attend an elite college. They scrimped and saved and likely didn't pay down the mortgage and didn't save enough for retirement and lived with even less for the last 20 years.

Ironically, most of you are complaining about paying for schools that your kid most likely wont even gain admission to.

That's not an example of irony. And our kids are very competitive for those schools. They're coming from the large, competitive publics and the magnets from across the country. The New Triers. The Boston Latins. They worked damn hard and they deserve a shot like any other hardworking and brilliant student. But for them, and for them only, elite colleges are not affordable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

+1 lol at the ^PP who thinks they did it right by getting FA.

Excuse us, but we saved, too, and can afford $50/yr, but we are a donuthole family who gets zilch. We can easily float in state, and maybe cheaper oos, but not the $90K/yr school that ^PP's kid is going to. We also have more than one kid.

There aren't that many great in state options where we are, so even if we look oos, we are restricted to a small number of decent schools for $50K/year.

FYI--there are people getting "$50K" and "70K" paid for at the T20s. So a range of finances well between yours and the person "only paying $30K". While it may feel like you "scrimped and saved", most likely those people did as well and have lived a life of much less luxury than you have. It's all relative. Why is elite college the only thing people complain "it's not fair" and demand something for free? Do you stand at the food bank and begrudge people eligible for "free food" because it's not fair, you make too much to get free food? Same with Social services and food stamps?

I for one am happy really smart kids have these options. It's private schools making the choice to balance their student body and have more than just rich, elite kids attending. There will still be MC/UMC kids who attend, as well as those who get full FA. Ultimately, the bulk will still remain rich/full pay kids as it has been for decades. But at least now more kids get the opportunity and it matters most for them, because those kids most likely would struggle to attend college anywhere else---your local state schools do not give loan free full tuition and R&B experiences to the poorer kids, that only happens at the elite schools with huge endowments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's no longer true that the bright daughter of two public-school teachers can afford to attend an Ivy or other elite private university. Schools like that just don't want students from such financially mediocre families. The doughnut hole comes up quickly for middle-aged cops, nurses, teachers, and many others with a dual-income HHI of 200K, a sad little 529, and an inner-ring ranch house as total cost of attendance at Penn approaches $100,000/year.

Thats not donut hole. Those are parent who choose not to save and now whining about paying for college. Many of us make that much or less and yet, still manage to save. Our kids don't go to $100K a year colleges. They go where we can afford.

+1. Who do you think owes you something OP?? Are you an adult?? Perplexing.

Anonymous wrote:It's no longer true that the bright daughter of two public-school teachers can afford to attend an Ivy or other elite private university. Schools like that just don't want students from such financially mediocre families. The doughnut hole comes up quickly for middle-aged cops, nurses, teachers, and many others with a dual-income HHI of 200K, a sad little 529, and an inner-ring ranch house as total cost of attendance at Penn approaches $100,000/year.

Thats not donut hole. Those are parent who choose not to save and now whining about paying for college. Many of us make that much or less and yet, still manage to save. Our kids don't go to $100K a year colleges. They go where we can afford.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people congratulating themselves for sacrificing while judging others without knowing anything about their circumstances is cracking me up. OK you love your kids more than we do because you drove the same car for 10 years.

Here's what the sanctimonious self-sacrificing crowd doesn't get. There are those of us who think that YOU'RE foolish to pay 85K per year for college. It doesn't make financial sense in most cases. You're obsessed with the "best" schools when most research shows that kids going to good publics do just as well. So there are those of us who think, unless you're wealthy, it's foolish to save for 85K a year when you can get the same quality for 40K per year. We're not as into prestige and we're certainly not paying for it. So just know as you're judging us, we're also looking at your values with some critical questions....

Sorry for my tone, but the judgment assuming those who haven't saved for 85K per year are just selfishly splurging.... it's so far from how many of us approach this.

Most of us aren't "congratulateing ourselves" and are middle class, so, we actually get some aid.

The big issue many if us have is hearing those who didn't save complain. Totally fine for you to cashflow a 40k school, but don't complain that you should somehow get a discount at a 90k school.

We scrimp and save to afford the COA of 30k at the 90k school after FA. We could have stretched to 40k, but thank goodness got great aid.

Fantastic but you are paying 60K less than many that also scrimped and saved. The extra $60k is A LOT. That is what you people are missing. We only drive Hondas, one is a 2006! WE don't take splashy vacations or wear name brands, etc. But--colleges have us on the hook for the full freight...even though we are scrimping and saving just as much as you. We only had 2 kids and live frugally. WE do have lots of retirement savings and paid down our mortgage as a priority...we also were funding the 529s since birth. AND if we only had to pay $30k like you--they would be able to attend the Ivies and SLACs that their hard work with no hooks got them into....but they are part of the donut hole class which is REAL no matter how much you people getting $60k discounts think it isn't.

+1 lol at the ^PP who thinks they did it right by getting FA.

Excuse us, but we saved, too, and can afford $50/yr, but we are a donuthole family who gets zilch. We can easily float in state, and maybe cheaper oos, but not the $90K/yr school that ^PP's kid is going to. We also have more than one kid.

There aren't that many great in state options where we are, so even if we look oos, we are restricted to a small number of decent schools for $50K/year.

Calling yourself a donut hole family is a bit of a joke as you have a comfortable salary and choose what you decided to save. Your income has to be pretty high to save that.