My dad bought my condo when I went to law school. It was approx 150k and he put down 20%, out me on the loan with him, and paid the loan on it for the first 3 years while I was in law school. I lived rent free during law school, though I did pay for some utilities etc when I had earnings from summer positions. When I graduated law school and started my first full time law firm job, I took over the loan payments and all association fees and utilities full time. I stayed there for another 4 years. That condo I eventually sold for approx 240k, which proceeds my fiancé and I used to buy our first place together. That next place we eventually sold and bought our house in DC with all the equity we had at that point in time plus approx $50k gift from my husband's parents for the down payment for the DC house. Now we moved out of DC and used the equity from the DC house sale to purchase this house. So the gift from 20 years ago from my dad has grown exponentially for us and really allowed us to be on the "property ladder" fully the whole time in a way we didn't really foresee at the time but has been extremely lucky.

My plumber/contractor FiL came in and stuck his head under the sink and all kinds of places and helped us figure out which house had “good bones”. Does that count?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those posters whose parents didn’t pay for anything: not college, not grad school, not a car, not my wedding, not any help to buy any of the homes I have ever owned. Congrats to those who get help with any of these things; you are very lucky.

same, and i'm currently paying 8k a month for memory care for the surviving parent.

i got lucky with a startup, or life would be pretty painful.

that said, my second spouse has been very lucky with gifts from their parents, and i'm very very grateful that the parents are capable and self-sufficient.

Many people are lucky…like you. And on the other hand, many python languages have some kind in common and are more complex to understand than most. The Ty is an example for this. I have been working with some very interesting 🤨 and useful software development and it seems to be very well documented. I’m sure 👍 the most important is the fact you have a lot to offer. I’m

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those posters whose parents didn’t pay for anything: not college, not grad school, not a car, not my wedding, not any help to buy any of the homes I have ever owned. Congrats to those who get help with any of these things; you are very lucky.

same, and i'm currently paying 8k a month for memory care for the surviving parent.

i got lucky with a startup, or life would be pretty painful.

that said, my second spouse has been very lucky with gifts from their parents, and i'm very very grateful that the parents are capable and self-sufficient.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested if those who had help with a downpayment will be able to do the same for their kids.
Seems to me if you had your college paid for by your parents, you should strive to do the same for your kids, similarly to getting help with a down payment, you should really try to do the same for your kids. Otherwise it is clear that the generational wealth is drying up and you haven’t done your part

That’s absolutely my plan (I’m the PP who received a $200k downpayment. My parents also paid for college and grad school for me and my siblings). We will definitely be paying for all college and grad school for kids and are in a good position to be able to give them down payments and other support as well.

+1. We are in a position to give them several multiples of what we received, knock on wood. As well as private K-12, which was not a necessity because public schools weren’t crap back then.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t really understand the thread maybe. I made several million by 30 and actually turned down $$$s from wife’s parents. Seeing other parents continue to control their adult kids’ lives through $$$s (and kids allowing it) was enough of a turnoff that it seemed stupid to accept anything that would just be more money for really no reason.

My wife will inherit a bunch so she will get it eventually, but I don’t understand just taking money for s**ts and giggles.

Yes, I think you don’t understand the thread. Generally people here haven’t made several million by 30 with no help from parents. So if they are taking money from parents it isn’t for “sh*ts and giggles”. Now, there may be people who have made several million *because* they had help from parents - I’m in that category. And now I do not take any more money from parents but will be giving to my children.

I get paying for kid’s college…but why did you require a handout for the rest…or are you saying they gave you millions which is how you “made” millions.

It’s not that I “required” it. They had it to give (because they are worth millions), and while I could service a mortgage, I hadn’t been able to save enough for a downpayment. Could I have waited several more years and saved more and then bought a house? Yes. But they were happy to give it to me and I was grateful to receive it. Not having to save more for that allowed me to invest and do other things with that money, and that’s now I’ll be in position to do the same for my children. You seem weirdly angry about this, but I think it’s a fairly common scenario when parents have money.

Yeah, not angry about it…but you got a handout because you weren’t capable of making it on your own. Again, we have parents with money as I stated and I guess we will inherit a bunch, but many such as I are capable of saying no thanks…I am an adult and don’t need parental welfare.

Agree. And it’s easy to think “I could have saved that after a few years” but you likely couldn’t have. If you’re not currently saving $100k post tax a year then you likely wouldn’t have done that. Just a thought. It’s harder than people think. Just be grateful your parents helped because you wouldn’t be in the same neighborhood if they didn’t. You would have a different life and lifestyle.

Yes I absolutely agree with this. I wasn’t saying I would live the same lifestyle, I was saying I didn’t “require” it to live. I would have eventually bought a much cheaper home and I would definitely have lived a very different life. Our HHI is high (biglaw) but it would have taken a long time to get to where we are now, if we ever did. But what is wrong with that?

No, nothing from either side. $1.8 mil

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t really understand the thread maybe. I made several million by 30 and actually turned down $$$s from wife’s parents. Seeing other parents continue to control their adult kids’ lives through $$$s (and kids allowing it) was enough of a turnoff that it seemed stupid to accept anything that would just be more money for really no reason.

My wife will inherit a bunch so she will get it eventually, but I don’t understand just taking money for s**ts and giggles.

Yes, I think you don’t understand the thread. Generally people here haven’t made several million by 30 with no help from parents. So if they are taking money from parents it isn’t for “sh*ts and giggles”. Now, there may be people who have made several million *because* they had help from parents - I’m in that category. And now I do not take any more money from parents but will be giving to my children.

I get paying for kid’s college…but why did you require a handout for the rest…or are you saying they gave you millions which is how you “made” millions.

It’s not that I “required” it. They had it to give (because they are worth millions), and while I could service a mortgage, I hadn’t been able to save enough for a downpayment. Could I have waited several more years and saved more and then bought a house? Yes. But they were happy to give it to me and I was grateful to receive it. Not having to save more for that allowed me to invest and do other things with that money, and that’s now I’ll be in position to do the same for my children. You seem weirdly angry about this, but I think it’s a fairly common scenario when parents have money.

Yeah, not angry about it…but you got a handout because you weren’t capable of making it on your own. Again, we have parents with money as I stated and I guess we will inherit a bunch, but many such as I are capable of saying no thanks…I am an adult and don’t need parental welfare.

Agree. And it’s easy to think “I could have saved that after a few years” but you likely couldn’t have. If you’re not currently saving $100k post tax a year then you likely wouldn’t have done that. Just a thought. It’s harder than people think. Just be grateful your parents helped because you wouldn’t be in the same neighborhood if they didn’t. You would have a different life and lifestyle.

I'm in my early 30s in a HCOL city. Almost everyone I know who owns a home (which tends to be $1M+) had parental assistance on the DP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t really understand the thread maybe. I made several million by 30 and actually turned down $$$s from wife’s parents. Seeing other parents continue to control their adult kids’ lives through $$$s (and kids allowing it) was enough of a turnoff that it seemed stupid to accept anything that would just be more money for really no reason.

My wife will inherit a bunch so she will get it eventually, but I don’t understand just taking money for s**ts and giggles.

Yes, I think you don’t understand the thread. Generally people here haven’t made several million by 30 with no help from parents. So if they are taking money from parents it isn’t for “sh*ts and giggles”. Now, there may be people who have made several million *because* they had help from parents - I’m in that category. And now I do not take any more money from parents but will be giving to my children.

I get paying for kid’s college…but why did you require a handout for the rest…or are you saying they gave you millions which is how you “made” millions.

It’s not that I “required” it. They had it to give (because they are worth millions), and while I could service a mortgage, I hadn’t been able to save enough for a downpayment. Could I have waited several more years and saved more and then bought a house? Yes. But they were happy to give it to me and I was grateful to receive it. Not having to save more for that allowed me to invest and do other things with that money, and that’s now I’ll be in position to do the same for my children. You seem weirdly angry about this, but I think it’s a fairly common scenario when parents have money.

Yeah, not angry about it…but you got a handout because you weren’t capable of making it on your own. Again, we have parents with money as I stated and I guess we will inherit a bunch, but many such as I are capable of saying no thanks…I am an adult and don’t need parental welfare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t really understand the thread maybe. I made several million by 30 and actually turned down $$$s from wife’s parents. Seeing other parents continue to control their adult kids’ lives through $$$s (and kids allowing it) was enough of a turnoff that it seemed stupid to accept anything that would just be more money for really no reason.

My wife will inherit a bunch so she will get it eventually, but I don’t understand just taking money for s**ts and giggles.

Yes, I think you don’t understand the thread. Generally people here haven’t made several million by 30 with no help from parents. So if they are taking money from parents it isn’t for “sh*ts and giggles”. Now, there may be people who have made several million *because* they had help from parents - I’m in that category. And now I do not take any more money from parents but will be giving to my children.

I get paying for kid’s college…but why did you require a handout for the rest…or are you saying they gave you millions which is how you “made” millions.

It’s not that I “required” it. They had it to give (because they are worth millions), and while I could service a mortgage, I hadn’t been able to save enough for a downpayment. Could I have waited several more years and saved more and then bought a house? Yes. But they were happy to give it to me and I was grateful to receive it. Not having to save more for that allowed me to invest and do other things with that money, and that’s now I’ll be in position to do the same for my children. You seem weirdly angry about this, but I think it’s a fairly common scenario when parents have money.

You seem to be inferring anger where none was implied. PP is stating basic and irrefutable facts. If it makes you feel better to cast these factual observations as subjective threads of anger, then more power to you.

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those posters whose parents didn’t pay for anything: not college, not grad school, not a car, not my wedding, not any help to buy any of the homes I have ever owned. Congrats to those who get help with any of these things; you are very lucky.

Same! With the parents living in the $8m house. Are you parents wealthy? I feel like there’s not a ton of people in our situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t really understand the thread maybe. I made several million by 30 and actually turned down $$$s from wife’s parents. Seeing other parents continue to control their adult kids’ lives through $$$s (and kids allowing it) was enough of a turnoff that it seemed stupid to accept anything that would just be more money for really no reason.

My wife will inherit a bunch so she will get it eventually, but I don’t understand just taking money for s**ts and giggles.

Yes, I think you don’t understand the thread. Generally people here haven’t made several million by 30 with no help from parents. So if they are taking money from parents it isn’t for “sh*ts and giggles”. Now, there may be people who have made several million *because* they had help from parents - I’m in that category. And now I do not take any more money from parents but will be giving to my children.

I get paying for kid’s college…but why did you require a handout for the rest…or are you saying they gave you millions which is how you “made” millions.

It’s not that I “required” it. They had it to give (because they are worth millions), and while I could service a mortgage, I hadn’t been able to save enough for a downpayment. Could I have waited several more years and saved more and then bought a house? Yes. But they were happy to give it to me and I was grateful to receive it. Not having to save more for that allowed me to invest and do other things with that money, and that’s now I’ll be in position to do the same for my children. You seem weirdly angry about this, but I think it’s a fairly common scenario when parents have money.

I’m one of those posters whose parents didn’t pay for anything: not college, not grad school, not a car, not my wedding, not any help to buy any of the homes I have ever owned. Congrats to those who get help with any of these things; you are very lucky.

100k on 1.6M house