Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any parents skipping daycare but know several who gave up afterschool care (and they can definitely afford it). They also take an hour each day (outside of lunch) to pick their kids up at school and walk them home (but still log off at 5-5:30).

It’s frustrating to see as someone with kids who does the right thing, but I don’t work for their employers. If these are your coworkers, complain if it’s impacting you. Otherwise just smile politely when they complain about not getting raises or watch as their career stall.

I gave up aftercare. I spent 30 minutes getting the kids from the bus and helping them get situated with a snack and the remote control while I finish up my work day. I start at 8:30, so even with that half hour distraction, of course I'm logging off at 5:00 or 5:30. Sometimes I have to log on for a bit in the evening to finish things up, though. I frequently see my colleagues who are also parents online at that time. I never see the Gen Z and Millennials who work 9-4 online though. I guess it's okay to take off early for happy hour, but not to watch your kids.

I love this. This can only be better for all workers and parents and children! All the threads where people pile on the parents about their kids' long days. I can't believe your kid wakes up at 6 and you pick them up from aftercare at 5:30. That's a long day! Kids need downtime! etc.etc.

Now parents are pausing work to grab kids and people think that's an ABUSE? This is all so ridiculous. Fortunately it just seems to be OP who thinks that. Everyone else seems to think it's great for companies and society.

Parents of young kids literally can’t win. You’re either blamed for “letting strangers raise your kids” or them having “too long of days in care” so you can work. Or you’re blamed for using workplace flexibility to balance your family life. Or you don’t work and you’re a leech on society.

Nah, I think the implication is that you (female) should quit to raise your kids. You (male) are responsible for bringing in a good enough single salary to avoid all of the above.

Today we have incredible flexibility. And tons on Moms in workforce.

I was interviewing in 2022 and I got offered a job with 100 percent remote, work anywhere, tons of vacation time, work in pajamas, like a six hour work day for $185k managing a small team.

That same exact job in person, wearing a suit, zero remote not even if a blizzard and working 45 hours a week paid $385k in 2012.

I like laying in couch with laptop in PJs but not a $200k paycut

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any parents skipping daycare but know several who gave up afterschool care (and they can definitely afford it). They also take an hour each day (outside of lunch) to pick their kids up at school and walk them home (but still log off at 5-5:30).

It’s frustrating to see as someone with kids who does the right thing, but I don’t work for their employers. If these are your coworkers, complain if it’s impacting you. Otherwise just smile politely when they complain about not getting raises or watch as their career stall.

Your kids must be hellions if they can’t come home and eat a snack and do their HW while you wrap on your workday. Sounds like you failed as a parent.

I raised my kids pre-pandemic and they are at top colleges now, so I think I did ok.

But I do believe 5-7 year olds need afterschool care and I don’t think they are hellions for requiring attention and stimulation after hours of setting at a desk in school.

Maybe they want to rest for an hour or two after coming back from school - like from 3:30 - 5:30, or do some quiet activity like reading, painting whatever they like. They can then get started on homework and dinner when the parent logs off from work.

Such an odd complaint. OP sounds jealous. Get over it. Life’s not fair. Whether or not they do this, your pay is the same.

Anonymous wrote:Most jobs are BS paper pushing anyway. If we're talking a lawyer missing filing deadlines, that's a different story.

I totally agree. WFH just revealed how easy it is to get office work done without all the filler. Shared Documents changed the game. Electronic signatures, immediate data analytics and even AI have made work easier, faster and less cumbersome. I have a manager who tries to encourage people to talk more in meetings because he wants meetings to feel "engaging". Those of us in the meetings are all people who have done the same job for 15 years. We all know what to do and how to do it. He tries to reinvent the wheel in order to be "innovative". Most of these tweaks are time wasters. If the average person does their job well and without interruption, they will more time for other things.

So much time in the office work is about talking to people, small talk, people sharing personal stories and contemplating.

Where is J1 J2 guy when you need him

Anonymous wrote:Mom of two here. I find it ridiculous that people wfh on a regular basis and are clearly taking care of children at the same time. Suddenly they can't afford childcare even though they don't have to pump gas in the car for a daily commute? It's ridiculous. I'm not talking about the one off snow day or sudden emergency but a regular pattern. Amazed employers haven't started creating policies around this or making employee come into work. Classic example of fussing babies and children needing attention during virtual meetings. Employees are taking advantage and double dipping. Ridiculous.

I think it's a mixed bag.

There are some who are working multiple jobs and minting money. Ping them and they will get back to you 4 hours later. 😬

There are some who are working honestly and also extra hours (like me) because I can never shut down!

There are some who are saving on child care like you said.

Everyone's situation is different. Personally I benefitted when I started working from home. I used to do my hair in the car while driving, skip breakfast and had back and neck problems. While working from home, I can get up stretch, look outside of the window for 60 seconds and get back to work again. It was awkward to stretch in the office.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any parents skipping daycare but know several who gave up afterschool care (and they can definitely afford it). They also take an hour each day (outside of lunch) to pick their kids up at school and walk them home (but still log off at 5-5:30).

It’s frustrating to see as someone with kids who does the right thing, but I don’t work for their employers. If these are your coworkers, complain if it’s impacting you. Otherwise just smile politely when they complain about not getting raises or watch as their career stall.

I gave up aftercare. I spent 30 minutes getting the kids from the bus and helping them get situated with a snack and the remote control while I finish up my work day. I start at 8:30, so even with that half hour distraction, of course I'm logging off at 5:00 or 5:30. Sometimes I have to log on for a bit in the evening to finish things up, though. I frequently see my colleagues who are also parents online at that time. I never see the Gen Z and Millennials who work 9-4 online though. I guess it's okay to take off early for happy hour, but not to watch your kids.

I love this. This can only be better for all workers and parents and children! All the threads where people pile on the parents about their kids' long days. I can't believe your kid wakes up at 6 and you pick them up from aftercare at 5:30. That's a long day! Kids need downtime! etc.etc.

Now parents are pausing work to grab kids and people think that's an ABUSE? This is all so ridiculous. Fortunately it just seems to be OP who thinks that. Everyone else seems to think it's great for companies and society.

Parents of young kids literally can’t win. You’re either blamed for “letting strangers raise your kids” or them having “too long of days in care” so you can work. Or you’re blamed for using workplace flexibility to balance your family life. Or you don’t work and you’re a leech on society.

Nah, I think the implication is that you (female) should quit to raise your kids. You (male) are responsible for bringing in a good enough single salary to avoid all of the above.

Oh those women who quit to SAH get slammed on plenty for grubbing off their husbands. It’s not like SAHMs never get any crap on this forum.

-working mom

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

DP. If these women had the arrangement cleared with their employers, I would have zero complaints. But if they are taking advantage of the system, they are hurting all women in similar positions. We need longer parental leave, but the answer isn’t being paid for work while caring for a child.

Also infants get quality care in daycare. It would be amazing if we had longer parental leave, but don’t make parents feel like their child isn’t cared for in a quality daycare setting.

Let’s not fool ourselves
Policy changes won’t happen while our kids are little.
Maybe our grandkids? Who knows
And even a quality daycare is worse than 1:1 with a loving intelligent woman
It’s acceptable and doesn’t hurt the kids in the long run as there are so many factors at play but at least let’s be real

So much sanctimony. This alsonmust mean you're against people having more than one kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any parents skipping daycare but know several who gave up afterschool care (and they can definitely afford it). They also take an hour each day (outside of lunch) to pick their kids up at school and walk them home (but still log off at 5-5:30).

It’s frustrating to see as someone with kids who does the right thing, but I don’t work for their employers. If these are your coworkers, complain if it’s impacting you. Otherwise just smile politely when they complain about not getting raises or watch as their career stall.

I gave up aftercare. I spent 30 minutes getting the kids from the bus and helping them get situated with a snack and the remote control while I finish up my work day. I start at 8:30, so even with that half hour distraction, of course I'm logging off at 5:00 or 5:30. Sometimes I have to log on for a bit in the evening to finish things up, though. I frequently see my colleagues who are also parents online at that time. I never see the Gen Z and Millennials who work 9-4 online though. I guess it's okay to take off early for happy hour, but not to watch your kids.

I love this. This can only be better for all workers and parents and children! All the threads where people pile on the parents about their kids' long days. I can't believe your kid wakes up at 6 and you pick them up from aftercare at 5:30. That's a long day! Kids need downtime! etc.etc.

Now parents are pausing work to grab kids and people think that's an ABUSE? This is all so ridiculous. Fortunately it just seems to be OP who thinks that. Everyone else seems to think it's great for companies and society.

Parents of young kids literally can’t win. You’re either blamed for “letting strangers raise your kids” or them having “too long of days in care” so you can work. Or you’re blamed for using workplace flexibility to balance your family life. Or you don’t work and you’re a leech on society.

Nah, I think the implication is that you (female) should quit to raise your kids. You (male) are responsible for bringing in a good enough single salary to avoid all of the above.

Oh, for god's sake. How can anyone think this anymore? I quit my wfh job because the hours were ridiculously long.