Wonder if OP is the same...

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1176803.page

I don't categorize people like that, unless you get to the extremes (85 year old billionaire dude with an 25 year old airhead).

Is the guy cool? Fun, interesting, caring?

Is the woman cool? Fun, interesting, caring?

If yay to both, great.

If nah to both, why are they even in my orbit?

If the guy is cool and the woman is not, then I might be thinking, "why'd you marry this person? She's lame/boring/mean" and if the answer seems to be "hot body," then yeah, I'd judge a little, but I wouldn't leap to that conclusion just because of what you wrote in your OP.

If the woman is cool and the guy is not, then I might be like, "why'd you marry this person? He's lame/boring/mean" and if the answer seems to be "money," then yeah, same as above.

But most of the time, people just fall in love and get married. It's not some big conspiracy.

I judge men who marry women for their looks and then expect to hang out with DH while the “wives” talk when we get together.

Talking to your wife is not enjoyable. You are the one who married her. You talk to her.

Anonymous wrote:This doesn’t really happen, but I wouldn’t judge it if it did.

Women who are yoga instructors aren’t coming from impoverished backgrounds, they’ve got degrees and had the spare time to do yoga training courses— which you pay for— and still make rent.

I was thinking the same thing.
I know a lot more doctors and lawyers coming from impoverished backgrounds than yoga instructors.
I actually also know a lot of people with all kinds of different full time jobs who are also yoga instructors/fitness instructors/personal trainers. These are things that are pretty easy to do on the side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

"crazy successful career" and "always present for their kids" are mutually exclusive.

Thats not true at all. My wife has had a pretty great career, built a solid side business with millions in assets, and has been an excellent and available parent.

I find that almost impossible to believe, as a mother with a big career. To say that I am as available to my kids than SAHM is absurd. I'm constantly pulled in different directions. And my peers feel the same.

Maybe because our son is now late teens and a senior in HS. We all spend lots of quality time together. He’s working at an internship right now and we even just got back from meeting him for lunch. Honestly, we’ve got a good balance and a great little family. She wouldn’t have wanted to be an SAHM and oir lives would mot be as good if she had.

This doesn’t really happen, but I wouldn’t judge it if it did.

Women who are yoga instructors aren’t coming from impoverished backgrounds, they’ve got degrees and had the spare time to do yoga training courses— which you pay for— and still make rent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

"crazy successful career" and "always present for their kids" are mutually exclusive.

Thats not true at all. My wife has had a pretty great career, built a solid side business with millions in assets, and has been an excellent and available parent.

I find that almost impossible to believe, as a mother with a big career. To say that I am as available to my kids than SAHM is absurd. I'm constantly pulled in different directions. And my peers feel the same.

I don’t know anyone like that. The women who are SAHMs usually had some sort of job that required a bachelor’s degree before they got married. I only know 1 who stayed at home with an MBA and one whose career was being a dog walker (but even she had a bachelor’s). She just wasn’t interested in working a real job, and her parents had money. Her DH was an associate in a law firm where I once worked. Haven’t even heard of them in years. To sum it up, I don’t think that’s common. I’ve seen a few more instances where women get some sort of hobby job when the kids are in HS or college. Neither SAHMs nor women with hobby jobs are generally interesting to me (with notable exceptions), but I’m not the one married to them so who cares what I think? I bet they don’t find me interesting either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

"crazy successful career" and "always present for their kids" are mutually exclusive.

Thats not true at all. My wife has had a pretty great career, built a solid side business with millions in assets and has been an excellent and available parent.

+1

Plus, some men like a woman who has some personality - not a stick in the mud, who has starfish sex, if at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

"crazy successful career" and "always present for their kids" are mutually exclusive.

Thats not true at all. My wife has had a pretty great career, built a solid side business with millions in assets and has been an excellent and available parent.

Some personal trainers and yoga instructors are actually really interesting people.

Oftentimes more so than office dweebs

Anonymous wrote:Full-time yoga instructor here. 2 master's degrees. I speak 4 languages, 3 of them fluently. Yes, I am hot; always have been. I meet only wealthy men because I charge a lot. Yes, they want to date and/or marry me. I have no interest in that but I enjoy their company.

Right but what you’re leaving out is that with that background you have family money and/ or an additional job.

Op is not talking about you

I don’t judge bc I did it (woman) and after 10y when you stop having all the sx and are stuck spending a ton of time with their family and friends - difference in socio economic background starts to really matter

Anonymous wrote:Full stop at "influencer". I judge all that stuff. So cringe. But a guy marrying a yoga instructor? Don't care.

+1.

No because isn’t this exactly who they tend to marry? Doesn’t seem that out of the norm…