Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH typically arrives home from work around 6pm like clockwork. He rarely calls when he leaves work, but usually calls if he’s running late.

Usually if I’m making something time sensitive for dinner (like grilling steak) I will quickly check his location just to be sure he’s actually on his way and how far away so it doesn’t overcook.

A month or so ago I checked and noticed he was at a random parking lot on his route home. I thought it suspicious and so I texted him “have you left yet”, and he responded that he was running late. I had/have no other reason to suspect anything suspicious, so I ignored it, but have remained nosy nearly every day since. He was there about 30-45 minutes. It hadn’t happened again until yesterday, he texted me saying he would be late. I monitored, he left on time, but then ended up at a different random parking lot again for another 30-45 minutes, in the dark and cold. I confronted him and he looked shocked and a little disappointed. He said he was there because he doesn’t otherwise have any alone time to decompress. (I WFH and am always here.)

Does this sound believable? I don’t know what to think.

1. If he has tracking on in his smartphone he knows you can see his location.
2. Yes, a lot of people just sit in their car to relax. I do this 1-2 times a week. Between work and family it's nice to have peace and quiet for 20-30 minutes.
3. He looked disappointed that you were checking up on him like that. That's called distrust.

He has no right to be disappointed or angry or accuse anyone of distrust

Everyone wants to know when their spouse will be home. To get kids to things, to sit down and eat, to talk with about the schedule.

If you’re late- for whatever reason- and don’t communicate that ahead of time, yes you may get a phone call or get looked up. BFD. Next time communicate- home in 50 mins not 10. Doing errands. Going to gym, grabbing farewell drinks for harry, decompressing on a walk.

If you’re late arriving home, YOU should have the consideration of communicating that to your nanny or spouse or kids expecting you.

This

This is the normal perspective

And don’t hide your Me Time from your spouse.

And if it’s All Hands on Deck time, get home.

Learn to read. The OP stated the husband told her she was going to be home late. Also, you need to relax on the micro managing. I feel sorry for your spouse. No, it's not "normal" for a spouse to know every waking movement of their partner. That's stupid. You need help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH typically arrives home from work around 6pm like clockwork. He rarely calls when he leaves work, but usually calls if he’s running late.

Usually if I’m making something time sensitive for dinner (like grilling steak) I will quickly check his location just to be sure he’s actually on his way and how far away so it doesn’t overcook.

A month or so ago I checked and noticed he was at a random parking lot on his route home. I thought it suspicious and so I texted him “have you left yet”, and he responded that he was running late. I had/have no other reason to suspect anything suspicious, so I ignored it, but have remained nosy nearly every day since. He was there about 30-45 minutes. It hadn’t happened again until yesterday, he texted me saying he would be late. I monitored, he left on time, but then ended up at a different random parking lot again for another 30-45 minutes, in the dark and cold. I confronted him and he looked shocked and a little disappointed. He said he was there because he doesn’t otherwise have any alone time to decompress. (I WFH and am always here.)

Does this sound believable? I don’t know what to think.

1. If he has tracking on in his smartphone he knows you can see his location.
2. Yes, a lot of people just sit in their car to relax. I do this 1-2 times a week. Between work and family it's nice to have peace and quiet for 20-30 minutes.
3. He looked disappointed that you were checking up on him like that. That's called distrust.

He has no right to be disappointed or angry or accuse anyone of distrust

Everyone wants to know when their spouse will be home. To get kids to things, to sit down and eat, to talk with about the schedule.

If you’re late- for whatever reason- and don’t communicate that ahead of time, yes you may get a phone call or get looked up. BFD. Next time communicate- home in 50 mins not 10. Doing errands. Going to gym, grabbing farewell drinks for harry, decompressing on a walk.

If you’re late arriving home, YOU should have the consideration of communicating that to your nanny or spouse or kids expecting you.

This

This is the normal perspective

And don’t hide your Me Time from your spouse.

And if it’s All Hands on Deck time, get home.

Learn to read. The OP stated the husband told her she was going to be home late. Also, you need to relax on the micro managing. I feel sorry for your spouse. No, it's not "normal" for a spouse to know every waking movement of their partner. That's stupid. You need help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH typically arrives home from work around 6pm like clockwork. He rarely calls when he leaves work, but usually calls if he’s running late.

Usually if I’m making something time sensitive for dinner (like grilling steak) I will quickly check his location just to be sure he’s actually on his way and how far away so it doesn’t overcook.

A month or so ago I checked and noticed he was at a random parking lot on his route home. I thought it suspicious and so I texted him “have you left yet”, and he responded that he was running late. I had/have no other reason to suspect anything suspicious, so I ignored it, but have remained nosy nearly every day since. He was there about 30-45 minutes. It hadn’t happened again until yesterday, he texted me saying he would be late. I monitored, he left on time, but then ended up at a different random parking lot again for another 30-45 minutes, in the dark and cold. I confronted him and he looked shocked and a little disappointed. He said he was there because he doesn’t otherwise have any alone time to decompress. (I WFH and am always here.)

Does this sound believable? I don’t know what to think.

Believable. .

So he’s expected home at 6pm, so bakes in some quiet time beforehand and is still home at 6pm?

That’s fine, he shouldn’t be embarassed or keeping that a secret. I’d call it self care. Most people do it at the gym later - just get out in the sauna or steam room or take a 30 min walk alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would drive by the lot one day around the time he goes to “relax.” The vibe might tell you all you need to know.

You could just street view it. He's not doing anything illicit in a Giant parking lot at 5:30PM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH typically arrives home from work around 6pm like clockwork. He rarely calls when he leaves work, but usually calls if he’s running late.

Usually if I’m making something time sensitive for dinner (like grilling steak) I will quickly check his location just to be sure he’s actually on his way and how far away so it doesn’t overcook.

A month or so ago I checked and noticed he was at a random parking lot on his route home. I thought it suspicious and so I texted him “have you left yet”, and he responded that he was running late. I had/have no other reason to suspect anything suspicious, so I ignored it, but have remained nosy nearly every day since. He was there about 30-45 minutes. It hadn’t happened again until yesterday, he texted me saying he would be late. I monitored, he left on time, but then ended up at a different random parking lot again for another 30-45 minutes, in the dark and cold. I confronted him and he looked shocked and a little disappointed. He said he was there because he doesn’t otherwise have any alone time to decompress. (I WFH and am always here.)

Does this sound believable? I don’t know what to think.

1. If he has tracking on in his smartphone he knows you can see his location.
2. Yes, a lot of people just sit in their car to relax. I do this 1-2 times a week. Between work and family it's nice to have peace and quiet for 20-30 minutes.
3. He looked disappointed that you were checking up on him like that. That's called distrust.

He has no right to be disappointed or angry or accuse anyone of distrust

Everyone wants to know when their spouse will be home. To get kids to things, to sit down and eat, to talk with about the schedule.

If you’re late- for whatever reason- and don’t communicate that ahead of time, yes you may get a phone call or get looked up. BFD. Next time communicate- home in 50 mins not 10. Doing errands. Going to gym, grabbing farewell drinks for harry, decompressing on a walk.

If you’re late arriving home, YOU should have the consideration of communicating that to your nanny or spouse or kids expecting you.

This

This is the normal perspective

And don’t hide your Me Time from your spouse.

And if it’s All Hands on Deck time, get home.

Anonymous wrote:I would drive by the lot one day around the time he goes to “relax.” The vibe might tell you all you need to know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH typically arrives home from work around 6pm like clockwork. He rarely calls when he leaves work, but usually calls if he’s running late.

Usually if I’m making something time sensitive for dinner (like grilling steak) I will quickly check his location just to be sure he’s actually on his way and how far away so it doesn’t overcook.

A month or so ago I checked and noticed he was at a random parking lot on his route home. I thought it suspicious and so I texted him “have you left yet”, and he responded that he was running late. I had/have no other reason to suspect anything suspicious, so I ignored it, but have remained nosy nearly every day since. He was there about 30-45 minutes. It hadn’t happened again until yesterday, he texted me saying he would be late. I monitored, he left on time, but then ended up at a different random parking lot again for another 30-45 minutes, in the dark and cold. I confronted him and he looked shocked and a little disappointed. He said he was there because he doesn’t otherwise have any alone time to decompress. (I WFH and am always here.)

Does this sound believable? I don’t know what to think.

1. If he has tracking on in his smartphone he knows you can see his location.
2. Yes, a lot of people just sit in their car to relax. I do this 1-2 times a week. Between work and family it's nice to have peace and quiet for 20-30 minutes.
3. He looked disappointed that you were checking up on him like that. That's called distrust.

He has no right to be disappointed or angry or accuse anyone of distrust

Everyone wants to know when their spouse will be home. To get kids to things, to sit down and eat, to talk with about the schedule.

If you’re late- for whatever reason- and don’t communicate that ahead of time, yes you may get a phone call or get looked up. BFD. Next time communicate- home in 50 mins not 10. Doing errands. Going to gym, grabbing farewell drinks for harry, decompressing on a walk.

If you’re late arriving home, YOU should have the consideration of communicating that to your nanny or spouse or kids expecting you.

This

This is the normal perspective

And don’t hide your Me Time from your spouse.

And if it’s All Hands on Deck time, get home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH typically arrives home from work around 6pm like clockwork. He rarely calls when he leaves work, but usually calls if he’s running late.

Usually if I’m making something time sensitive for dinner (like grilling steak) I will quickly check his location just to be sure he’s actually on his way and how far away so it doesn’t overcook.

A month or so ago I checked and noticed he was at a random parking lot on his route home. I thought it suspicious and so I texted him “have you left yet”, and he responded that he was running late. I had/have no other reason to suspect anything suspicious, so I ignored it, but have remained nosy nearly every day since. He was there about 30-45 minutes. It hadn’t happened again until yesterday, he texted me saying he would be late. I monitored, he left on time, but then ended up at a different random parking lot again for another 30-45 minutes, in the dark and cold. I confronted him and he looked shocked and a little disappointed. He said he was there because he doesn’t otherwise have any alone time to decompress. (I WFH and am always here.)

Does this sound believable? I don’t know what to think.

1. If he has tracking on in his smartphone he knows you can see his location.
2. Yes, a lot of people just sit in their car to relax. I do this 1-2 times a week. Between work and family it's nice to have peace and quiet for 20-30 minutes.
3. He looked disappointed that you were checking up on him like that. That's called distrust.

He has no right to be disappointed or angry or accuse anyone of distrust

Everyone wants to know when their spouse will be home. To get kids to things, to sit down and eat, to talk with about the schedule.

If you’re late- for whatever reason- and don’t communicate that ahead of time, yes you may get a phone call or get looked up. BFD. Next time communicate- home in 50 mins not 10. Doing errands. Going to gym, grabbing farewell drinks for harry, decompressing on a walk.

If you’re late arriving home, YOU should have the consideration of communicating that to your nanny or spouse or kids expecting you.