Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 10:14     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
I workout, I take care of my skin, etc. But I have never liked wearing make-up nor do I care about wearing pretty clothes unless I am going out to dinner, party, event. I don't wear PJs out either. But it's just not my personality. I DGAF about what others think. If it makes you feel better and you enjoy it-go for it. But to be preoccupied about what others are thinking--that sounds miserable.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 10:05     Subject: Re:Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies focus on how other people should treat you respectfully, regardless of how slovenly your appearance (and for the record I agree).

However, very few will engage with the idea that by dressing like an absolute slob (not even being bothered to find the middle ground between slovenly and dressed to the nines), the slob is the one treating others disrespectfully.

“I want to dress however I want regardless of occasion AND I want to dictate how others should feel or not feel about that, and how they should react to me.”

I, I, I, me, me, me. This is the world we live in, folks.


OP actually was talking about how she looks in her own house. I know the conversation gets broader than that, but her point wasn't about dressing for the occasion.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:57     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I looked back at old photos of my parents and grandparents are love how everybody is put together every day. They would NEVER go out in leggings, sweat pants, pjs! Why have Americans stopped caring how they look when they leave their house. I grew up with a mom who refused to even garden outside without makeup and decent clothes on. She always said somebody could stop by and she didn't want to look like she just woke up. I could count on my two hands how many times I have seen her without makeup outside of her bedroom.

I am 40 and when my kids were really little did not put much effort into my clothes (leggings, sweatshirts, etc at the bus stop) but this year I decided I needed to step up my game. I wake up every morning, wash my face, put on real clothes (jeans and a nice top, a dress, etc) and put some make up on (nothing heavy just some blush and eye liner). I can't believe how much better I feel every day!


I dress pretty casually but I'm strict about skin health and appearance, nails, hair, grooming in general and also weight and fitness. For example, in the summer I'm in shorts and t shirts but no hair on my legs, spider veins, cellulite, lumpiness in general, unkempt hair color.

What’s an unkempt hair color?


Gray hair. As a woman you aren’t allowed to age. Men with gray hair are considered distinguished.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:54     Subject: Re:Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
So many of these replies focus on how other people should treat you respectfully, regardless of how slovenly your appearance (and for the record I agree).

However, very few will engage with the idea that by dressing like an absolute slob (not even being bothered to find the middle ground between slovenly and dressed to the nines), the slob is the one treating others disrespectfully.

“I want to dress however I want regardless of occasion AND I want to dictate how others should feel or not feel about that, and how they should react to me.”

I, I, I, me, me, me. This is the world we live in, folks.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:54     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You live in the DMV. This is why.


This is part of it. It's a frumpy crowd who doesn't care much about looks. Hit up Miami or LA and you'll see a higher percentage of people who at least avoided wearing stained clothing out that day.


I moved to Greenwich, CT a few years ago and it's like a different world. People dress up to go to the post office here. Or their friend's house for tea. A constant fashion show in town. It took me a while to get used to but I actually love it.


LOL. It’s easy to look good when you are wealthy and can focus all of your energy on personal care. If I could outsource all cleaning, laundry, children, errands, grocery shopping, cooking and landscaping I’d look fantastic!
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:47     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
I overheard my husband and his friend talking about another dad for being a slob which i honestly found hysterical since I am so used to women being catty. "Did you see that guy...Fat, Mandalorian t-shirt, neckbeard and flip flops. How can he call himself a grown man."
Men are totally guilty of dressing like toddlers and it is so unattractive. I guess if their wives are in sweats every day they feel it's their prerogative.
We are not wealthy and get most of our clothes at consignment since we spend our money on our kids, but they are REAL clothes and we always look like adults who care about ourselves.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:44     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You live in the DMV. This is why.


This is part of it. It's a frumpy crowd who doesn't care much about looks. Hit up Miami or LA and you'll see a higher percentage of people who at least avoided wearing stained clothing out that day.


I moved to Greenwich, CT a few years ago and it's like a different world. People dress up to go to the post office here. Or their friend's house for tea. A constant fashion show in town. It took me a while to get used to but I actually love it.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:43     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because people are fat


+1


-2

I see a lot of young, skinny people wearing literally whatever they could find. I’m currently postpartum (10/12) and look coordinated and put together when I go into public.

This does not mean heels and a full beat. It means a coordinated outfit and earrings. It’s not hard to do and it conveys high self-esteem and respect for people around me.


Hahahahahahaaa
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:41     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because people are fat


+1


-2

I see a lot of young, skinny people wearing literally whatever they could find. I’m currently postpartum (10/12) and look coordinated and put together when I go into public.

This does not mean heels and a full beat. It means a coordinated outfit and earrings. It’s not hard to do and it conveys high self-esteem and respect for people around me.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:37     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:I looked back at old photos of my parents and grandparents are love how everybody is put together every day. They would NEVER go out in leggings, sweat pants, pjs! Why have Americans stopped caring how they look when they leave their house. I grew up with a mom who refused to even garden outside without makeup and decent clothes on. She always said somebody could stop by and she didn't want to look like she just woke up. I could count on my two hands how many times I have seen her without makeup outside of her bedroom.

I am 40 and when my kids were really little did not put much effort into my clothes (leggings, sweatshirts, etc at the bus stop) but this year I decided I needed to step up my game. I wake up every morning, wash my face, put on real clothes (jeans and a nice top, a dress, etc) and put some make up on (nothing heavy just some blush and eye liner). I can't believe how much better I feel every day!


Are you suggesting we all need to act like you to feel good? Also, are you not an American? Why single us out?
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:36     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do not know but it’s sad to see, more than anything. I don’t always look glamorous but I always look at least basically put together: thei seems like a very reasonable habit. I don’t like being in public looking like a bum or slob. Maybe they’re depressed?


And I am always in a long gown, hair blown out, even just to take out the trash! Peasants like you are making it tres difficile for the rest of us to keep up the neighborhood.


Don't forget the heels.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:36     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:I think we all can agree that basic hygiene and clean clothes are important. The rest is personal preference unless there is a dress code at work. I'm glad to see more women going without makeup as men have always done. Good grooming does not require painting your face.


+1 I feel like some people think wearing a certain brand makes them look presentable. IRL, wearing brands makes you look foolish.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:35     Subject: Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:I do not know but it’s sad to see, more than anything. I don’t always look glamorous but I always look at least basically put together: thei seems like a very reasonable habit. I don’t like being in public looking like a bum or slob. Maybe they’re depressed?


And I am always in a long gown, hair blown out, even just to take out the trash! Peasants like you are making it tres difficile for the rest of us to keep up the neighborhood.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:35     Subject: Re:Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is fascinating to look at photographs of cities and people back in the 1950s and earlier and notice how dressed up everyone was in public, even the working people. And for an older generation, they still wore ties to do chores around the house. People clearly believed it was part of being a citizen to show respect for others by dressing nicely in public. And I do agree there is merit to it. I definitely treat people who dress better differently than those who are slobs and indifferent.


Maybe you should treat everyone with respect regardless of what they're wearing.
And many people who are slobs and indifferent are struggling. Treating them poorly isn't going to help. It makes far more sense to treat them with a little extra kindness.


+1 I avoid shallow people - they don't know my portfolio, nor will they.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 09:34     Subject: Re:Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?
Anonymous wrote:I shower, dress nicely and put on make up and do my hair to go to work or go out for any social gathering. I do not want to live in a world where I need to put on makeup to work in the garden. There is a compromise you know, it’s not all or nothing.


+1