Parent of three from 2 Big 3 Schools here.
Big 3 in my book:
Sidwell
St Albans/NCS
GDS
Then
Maret
Potomac

Then everyone else
Catholics have a different hierarchy- and I'm not sure how they handle grade deflation.

I will tell you at our kids' Big 3's there is serious grade deflation and I believe it is hurting the kids college outcomes. Look at Sidwell, GDS and St Albans admits over the past three years. Downward trajectory overall for ALL of them. What do they have in common? They all got rid of MOST AP classes in exchange for school-created honors classes and have serious grade deflation, where the party line is "Everyone know a B at Big 3 is a great grade." Guess what - NOT TRUE!The common app and influx of thousands of applications means admissions officers have less time to dither over each individual school's rigor. Pull your kid out if you care about GPA and college competitiveness. Other reasons to stay but fewer and fewer.

NP here. Child at Big3. It’s so hard to see my child struggle with these grades but I am so grateful they are getting to experience this while I can guide them. I see enormous value in kids learning to deal with hiccups/stress/“failure” (no, not actual Fs but, you know, imperfection) during these formative years. How do you handle it? Not in the sense of, does it break you, which of course is too much and not right for some kids, but in the sense of — how can I as a growing person navigate a complex and stressful environment and learn to tolerate somethings not being exactly what I expect/want? I have to balance mental stress in class with healthy exercise and healthy diet and learning when/how to take breaks and what I like/don’t like when I have limited free time, and which topics get me really excited and which I absolutely hate with a passion.

These kids who get straight As in life, many of whom are in public schools and have never really worked hard at anything, are not better off. Ok, so they can all go to Harvard, but I don’t care a wit about that. Wake up call: there’s lots of really unhappy adults who graduated from HYP. I want a resilient adult who can life their life to the fullest and knows what drives them and makes them happy. I see the Big3 education as a step on my child’s path in life and not as a ticket to a particular college. It’s hard not to get wrapped up in it all and the rat race but some perspective is why I am sending them there and I think we a parents need to do a better job on that front.

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Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

For these parents, we’re thinking about moving our younger out as well. What ‘second tier’ private would you suggest?

Honestly, I am just calling them 2nd tier to differentiate them on DCUM from Sidwell and Cathedral schools. My kid is at one of these 2nd tier schools and we have been really impressed. We have had kids at Sidwell/Cathedral as well. I would look closely at Visitation, Gonzaga, Burke, SJC scholars program and Madeira. We aren’t in Maryland, but if we were I would look at Bullis and St. Andrews.

I would also add Field and Maret as 2nd tier. I have one at a Big 3 and another at one of these and it works for our family. One of our kids would NOT do well or even feel well at the Big 3 my son is at.

Very helpful. Where would you put gds on this list?

GDS is Big3 and also pretty high stress. A bit less toxic than NCS and Sidwell but probably not by much---probably more like STA (which in my experience is quite a bit gentler than NCS).

The Big 3 is 3 schools - Sidwell, St. Albans, and NCS. STA and NCS are different schools completely and while in the same family they are separate schools run very differently. Big 3 was always those 3 schools. If it was Big 4 or Big 5 then GDS and Market would be added.

This is an excellent example of many of the parents at these schools. Arguing over a petty ranking on an anonymous Internet forum. Such parents want the prestige of saying their child is at a Big X school. It does not matter if the child is actually happy at the school.

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Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

For these parents, we’re thinking about moving our younger out as well. What ‘second tier’ private would you suggest?

Honestly, I am just calling them 2nd tier to differentiate them on DCUM from Sidwell and Cathedral schools. My kid is at one of these 2nd tier schools and we have been really impressed. We have had kids at Sidwell/Cathedral as well. I would look closely at Visitation, Gonzaga, Burke, SJC scholars program and Madeira. We aren’t in Maryland, but if we were I would look at Bullis and St. Andrews.

I would also add Field and Maret as 2nd tier. I have one at a Big 3 and another at one of these and it works for our family. One of our kids would NOT do well or even feel well at the Big 3 my son is at.

Very helpful. Where would you put gds on this list?

GDS is Big3 and also pretty high stress. A bit less toxic than NCS and Sidwell but probably not by much---probably more like STA (which in my experience is quite a bit gentler than NCS).

The Big 3 is 3 schools - Sidwell, St. Albans, and NCS. STA and NCS are different schools completely and while in the same family they are separate schools run very differently. Big 3 was always those 3 schools. If it was Big 4 or Big 5 then GDS and Market would be added.

No dog in this fight, but your info is outdated. GDS is Big-3. And STA and NCS are not "completely" different schools--they share the Close, share some classes and some facilities. I'd put Maret, Holton, and Potomac in the next tier.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

For these parents, we’re thinking about moving our younger out as well. What ‘second tier’ private would you suggest?

Honestly, I am just calling them 2nd tier to differentiate them on DCUM from Sidwell and Cathedral schools. My kid is at one of these 2nd tier schools and we have been really impressed. We have had kids at Sidwell/Cathedral as well. I would look closely at Visitation, Gonzaga, Burke, SJC scholars program and Madeira. We aren’t in Maryland, but if we were I would look at Bullis and St. Andrews.

I would also add Field and Maret as 2nd tier. I have one at a Big 3 and another at one of these and it works for our family. One of our kids would NOT do well or even feel well at the Big 3 my son is at.

Very helpful. Where would you put gds on this list?

GDS is Big3 and also pretty high stress. A bit less toxic than NCS and Sidwell but probably not by much---probably more like STA (which in my experience is quite a bit gentler than NCS).

The Big 3 is 3 schools - Sidwell, St. Albans, and NCS. STA and NCS are different schools completely and while in the same family they are separate schools run very differently. Big 3 was always those 3 schools. If it was Big 4 or Big 5 then GDS and Market would be added.

That sounds like a lot of stress, OP, so I can understand your concern. A silver lining is this will well prepare your kid for college, where at a good college they will aim or or curve to a 70 average for exams.

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Anonymous wrote:This is a good thing, OP, and more schools should be doing this. Believe it or not, a “C” used to be average and actually meant average. It’s good that your child is getting an education where they are actually expected to learn the material, rather than just get inflated grades for showing up and doing the bare minimum.

+1 Too many parents today think their children should have mostly or all A's.

Colleges seem to think that too.

GDS is usually in the big 3 which is usually 5 schools in DC not counting some other tier 2 that folks like to claim like Potomac.
Tier 2/3
Field
Burk
Bullis
Madeira
Maret
A few schools in MD/VA like Landon etc.
You can still do well in a tier 2/3 without all the pressure. Lots of really smart kids there and them mostly, average good kids. If they are good with a hook, they do great! Mid does mid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

For these parents, we’re thinking about moving our younger out as well. What ‘second tier’ private would you suggest?

Honestly, I am just calling them 2nd tier to differentiate them on DCUM from Sidwell and Cathedral schools. My kid is at one of these 2nd tier schools and we have been really impressed. We have had kids at Sidwell/Cathedral as well. I would look closely at Visitation, Gonzaga, Burke, SJC scholars program and Madeira. We aren’t in Maryland, but if we were I would look at Bullis and St. Andrews.

I would also add Field and Maret as 2nd tier. I have one at a Big 3 and another at one of these and it works for our family. One of our kids would NOT do well or even feel well at the Big 3 my son is at.

Very helpful. Where would you put gds on this list?

GDS is Big3 and also pretty high stress. A bit less toxic than NCS and Sidwell but probably not by much---probably more like STA (which in my experience is quite a bit gentler than NCS).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

For these parents, we’re thinking about moving our younger out as well. What ‘second tier’ private would you suggest?

Honestly, I am just calling them 2nd tier to differentiate them on DCUM from Sidwell and Cathedral schools. My kid is at one of these 2nd tier schools and we have been really impressed. We have had kids at Sidwell/Cathedral as well. I would look closely at Visitation, Gonzaga, Burke, SJC scholars program and Madeira. We aren’t in Maryland, but if we were I would look at Bullis and St. Andrews.

I would also add Field and Maret as 2nd tier. I have one at a Big 3 and another at one of these and it works for our family. One of our kids would NOT do well or even feel well at the Big 3 my son is at.

Very helpful. Where would you put gds on this list?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

For these parents, we’re thinking about moving our younger out as well. What ‘second tier’ private would you suggest?

Honestly, I am just calling them 2nd tier to differentiate them on DCUM from Sidwell and Cathedral schools. My kid is at one of these 2nd tier schools and we have been really impressed. We have had kids at Sidwell/Cathedral as well. I would look closely at Visitation, Gonzaga, Burke, SJC scholars program and Madeira. We aren’t in Maryland, but if we were I would look at Bullis and St. Andrews.

I would also add Field and Maret as 2nd tier. I have one at a Big 3 and another at one of these and it works for our family. One of our kids would NOT do well or even feel well at the Big 3 my son is at.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

For these parents, we’re thinking about moving our younger out as well. What ‘second tier’ private would you suggest?

Honestly, I am just calling them 2nd tier to differentiate them on DCUM from Sidwell and Cathedral schools. My kid is at one of these 2nd tier schools and we have been really impressed. We have had kids at Sidwell/Cathedral as well. I would look closely at Visitation, Gonzaga, Burke, SJC scholars program and Madeira. We aren’t in Maryland, but if we were I would look at Bullis and St. Andrews.

Anonymous wrote:What kind of GPA are you talking about? At what GPA is a Big 3 probably not worth it?

Frankly? Under about a 3.7.