Yikes, these husbands seem dense. Why would one marry someone so low on cognition? Only redeeming quality imho would be if someone is really nice and a good person in other ways.

I haven't read through this entire read, but your husband sounds exactly mine with this stuff. Brilliant in his work life, but frustrating to communicate with when it comes to mundane things. And I've learned (mostly) to let things go. If I give him a grocery list, I know better and I often communicate things 3 different ways, because he will mishear or misinterpret things and redundancy reduces the probability that he will get it wrong. I use a photo if I can. He doesn't follow a logical train of thought. It's not ideal but often I just take care of things because sometimes it's easier. It's not like there aren't other things for him to do. I let him do the things that I know he can do - like mow the lawn, fix a leaky faucet, play games with the kids, etc.

I’m coming to this late.

If you don’t know what something on a list is…ask?

My husband is the same way. Utterly melts down and never asks for help. Says I’m critical. Yeah, in part because he never asks for clarification or notices it’s not the right item. Think grapefruit when I asked for a tomato - I mean it’s produce right? Why should it matter?

At some point inattentiveness matters, beyond a shopping list. It’s challenging to unsnarl a problem if it’s taboo to address it.