Anonymous
05/29/2023 16:34
Subject: If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.
Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?
I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?
I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….
When I begin relationship with a married man, I don't enter someone else's family. I enter into a relationship with this one man. No, I don't wish that he get a divorce as I have no intent to get married.
OP, your post is written with a presumption that everyone has the line drawn at the same place. This is not true. Adultery is a sin in Christianity, but for many like me who were raised in an atheist country, it is not a big deal. Very soon family will not be sacred in the US too considering the overall movement, so I anticipate that the line will move too.
So zero empathy for the wife, got it. Just go around creating harm and hurt and taking zero part of responsibility for it. There is alternative you know: date single people.
Anonymous
05/29/2023 16:32
Subject: If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.
Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?
I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?
I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….
When I begin relationship with a married man, I don't enter someone else's family. I enter into a relationship with this one man. No, I don't wish that he get a divorce as I have no intent to get married.
OP, your post is written with a presumption that everyone has the line drawn at the same place. This is not true. Adultery is a sin in Christianity, but for many like me who were raised in an atheist country, it is not a big deal. Very soon family will not be sacred in the US too considering the overall movement, so I anticipate that the line will move too.
You’d be mistaken. When the wife finds out and confronts you, you now are part of her life and you will be part of their life going forward. You are helping to create collateral damage.
Why can’t you find single men? Something is clearly wrong with you for continually seeking out relationships with married men.
Anonymous
05/29/2023 16:28
Subject: Re:If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Do people who commit adultery not have the ability to visualize in their mind or have an inner voice? I wonder if they have to do this because they can’t be content fantasizing themselves. That would be an interesting study what type of brains cheat
A lot of you want to live with your head in the sand. Almost everyone that I know that travels regularly for work is cheating on their spouse. It’s just too easy and most wives aren’t having regular sex with their husbands.
Anonymous
05/29/2023 16:06
Subject: If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.
Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?
I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?
I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….
When I begin relationship with a married man, I don't enter someone else's family. I enter into a relationship with this one man. No, I don't wish that he get a divorce as I have no intent to get married.
OP, your post is written with a presumption that everyone has the line drawn at the same place. This is not true. Adultery is a sin in Christianity, but for many like me who were raised in an atheist country, it is not a big deal. Very soon family will not be sacred in the US too considering the overall movement, so I anticipate that the line will move too.
Anonymous
05/29/2023 16:05
Subject: Re:If you had an affair with a married person
Do people who commit adultery not have the ability to visualize in their mind or have an inner voice? I wonder if they have to do this because they can’t be content fantasizing themselves. That would be an interesting study what type of brains cheat
Anonymous
05/29/2023 15:28
Subject: If you had an affair with a married person
And is legal in many states to marry underage kids like 9, 14 years old, that's even worse. Those laws were created by religious pedophiles so they can manipulate women and make tons of babies.
Horrible and sick laws, care about the children today
Horrible and sick laws, care about the children today
Anonymous
05/29/2023 15:27
Subject: Re:If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Judge not let ye be judged.
Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone.
And I’m not even Christian.
Seriously all you righteous people preaching honesty need to look in the mirror, you think your sh!t don’t stink? As they say.
Maybe it’s what you did to get your DH, maybe it’s how you made your money, maybe it’s what you ignore to prosper, maybe it’s what you’re doing to get your kid ahead, but I guarantee you’ve done something in your life that others would take issue with.
What is with all the "don't judge!" posts on this and other threads today? If we adhered to "Judge not lest ye be judged" (and yeah, it's "lest," not "let") there would be no DCUM at all.
And coming here to compare affairs with the other supposed "sins" you list is tone-deaf. Others might take issue with some parent who lies on a form to get a kid into a school or whatever. That's vile cheating that deserves to be punished, sure. But it's not in the same league as screwing someone else's spouse.
It’s the “whore” judging. The “dickhead” judging. Etc. Let others live. If that’s what they want to do, so be it. If they’re not breaking any laws, again, so be it. What others do, is on them. Does it hurt you? I doubt it.
Adultery is breaking a law in most states and it causes serious harm.
More harm is laws created by Christians that a child young as 9, 14 years old can choose to marry an adult
Anonymous
05/29/2023 15:25
Subject: If you had an affair with a married person
It's hot to fantasy of other married people. They do it as well
Anonymous
05/29/2023 15:19
Subject: Re:If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Judge not let ye be judged.
Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone.
And I’m not even Christian.
Seriously all you righteous people preaching honesty need to look in the mirror, you think your sh!t don’t stink? As they say.
Maybe it’s what you did to get your DH, maybe it’s how you made your money, maybe it’s what you ignore to prosper, maybe it’s what you’re doing to get your kid ahead, but I guarantee you’ve done something in your life that others would take issue with.
What is with all the "don't judge!" posts on this and other threads today? If we adhered to "Judge not lest ye be judged" (and yeah, it's "lest," not "let") there would be no DCUM at all.
And coming here to compare affairs with the other supposed "sins" you list is tone-deaf. Others might take issue with some parent who lies on a form to get a kid into a school or whatever. That's vile cheating that deserves to be punished, sure. But it's not in the same league as screwing someone else's spouse.
It’s the “whore” judging. The “dickhead” judging. Etc. Let others live. If that’s what they want to do, so be it. If they’re not breaking any laws, again, so be it. What others do, is on them. Does it hurt you? I doubt it.
Wow, you're really stretching to make a point here, and it doesn't work. Of course it doens't "hurt" ME. But yes, I can judge because (1) it's an anonymous site where people come to ask opinions and you don't get to be the opinion police and (2) infidelity DOES hurt the cheated-on spouse and I can be as pi$**d off as I like on behalf of those whose spouses are cheating on them. Your "So be it" attitude is yours, which is fine. Not mine, and not that of others on this thread.
You’re not God and neither am so you have no room nor do I to judge. Next…
Well, God has made it clear. Condemning adultery is like, 20% of the Ten Commandments!
Not for me to worry about. Got anything else?
Anonymous
05/29/2023 15:16
Subject: Re:If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Judge not let ye be judged.
Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone.
And I’m not even Christian.
Seriously all you righteous people preaching honesty need to look in the mirror, you think your sh!t don’t stink? As they say.
Maybe it’s what you did to get your DH, maybe it’s how you made your money, maybe it’s what you ignore to prosper, maybe it’s what you’re doing to get your kid ahead, but I guarantee you’ve done something in your life that others would take issue with.
What is with all the "don't judge!" posts on this and other threads today? If we adhered to "Judge not lest ye be judged" (and yeah, it's "lest," not "let") there would be no DCUM at all.
And coming here to compare affairs with the other supposed "sins" you list is tone-deaf. Others might take issue with some parent who lies on a form to get a kid into a school or whatever. That's vile cheating that deserves to be punished, sure. But it's not in the same league as screwing someone else's spouse.
It’s the “whore” judging. The “dickhead” judging. Etc. Let others live. If that’s what they want to do, so be it. If they’re not breaking any laws, again, so be it. What others do, is on them. Does it hurt you? I doubt it.
Adultery is breaking a law in most states and it causes serious harm.
https://legalhearsay.com/is-adultery-illegal-a-state-by-state-guide/
Anonymous
05/29/2023 13:31
Subject: If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I cheat because I don’t want to break up my marriage due to the kids. I love my DH, but I am not in love with him and I need intimacy and he refuses to provide that.
I give the married man I am with something that’s missing in his marriage. Neither one of us wants to get a divorce and we both wished that we would have met each other during different circumstances.
I totally 100% understand how you feel this way and many others will. The piece you are missing though is how you would feel if your husband discovered it.
And does his wife know? You are causing her harm as well as your DH if you haven’t spoken to him about it.
No, the spouses do not know and we aren’t going to tell them. We only meet up during business trips and we only communicate during the work hours. We live a plane ride away from each other, do not work at the same corporation, but have legitimate reasons to be in contact if a spouse snooped around.
Anonymous
05/29/2023 13:24
Subject: Re:If you had an affair with a married person
My professor came on to me. I had thought of him as a father figure. Ha! Not so much. We were “together” for a year. I was young and did not really understand from his wife’s pov. I’ve been married 20 years now and cannot believe I was a part of that so many years ago. I feel terrible when I think about it.
Anonymous
05/29/2023 13:23
Subject: Re:If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Judge not let ye be judged.
Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone.
And I’m not even Christian.
Seriously all you righteous people preaching honesty need to look in the mirror, you think your sh!t don’t stink? As they say.
Maybe it’s what you did to get your DH, maybe it’s how you made your money, maybe it’s what you ignore to prosper, maybe it’s what you’re doing to get your kid ahead, but I guarantee you’ve done something in your life that others would take issue with.
What is with all the "don't judge!" posts on this and other threads today? If we adhered to "Judge not lest ye be judged" (and yeah, it's "lest," not "let") there would be no DCUM at all.
And coming here to compare affairs with the other supposed "sins" you list is tone-deaf. Others might take issue with some parent who lies on a form to get a kid into a school or whatever. That's vile cheating that deserves to be punished, sure. But it's not in the same league as screwing someone else's spouse.
It’s the “whore” judging. The “dickhead” judging. Etc. Let others live. If that’s what they want to do, so be it. If they’re not breaking any laws, again, so be it. What others do, is on them. Does it hurt you? I doubt it.
Wow, you're really stretching to make a point here, and it doesn't work. Of course it doens't "hurt" ME. But yes, I can judge because (1) it's an anonymous site where people come to ask opinions and you don't get to be the opinion police and (2) infidelity DOES hurt the cheated-on spouse and I can be as pi$**d off as I like on behalf of those whose spouses are cheating on them. Your "So be it" attitude is yours, which is fine. Not mine, and not that of others on this thread.
You’re not God and neither am so you have no room nor do I to judge. Next…
Well, God has made it clear. Condemning adultery is like, 20% of the Ten Commandments!
Anonymous
05/29/2023 13:01
Subject: Re:If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Judge not let ye be judged.
Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone.
And I’m not even Christian.
Seriously all you righteous people preaching honesty need to look in the mirror, you think your sh!t don’t stink? As they say.
Maybe it’s what you did to get your DH, maybe it’s how you made your money, maybe it’s what you ignore to prosper, maybe it’s what you’re doing to get your kid ahead, but I guarantee you’ve done something in your life that others would take issue with.
What is with all the "don't judge!" posts on this and other threads today? If we adhered to "Judge not lest ye be judged" (and yeah, it's "lest," not "let") there would be no DCUM at all.
And coming here to compare affairs with the other supposed "sins" you list is tone-deaf. Others might take issue with some parent who lies on a form to get a kid into a school or whatever. That's vile cheating that deserves to be punished, sure. But it's not in the same league as screwing someone else's spouse.
It’s the “whore” judging. The “dickhead” judging. Etc. Let others live. If that’s what they want to do, so be it. If they’re not breaking any laws, again, so be it. What others do, is on them. Does it hurt you? I doubt it.
Wow, you're really stretching to make a point here, and it doesn't work. Of course it doens't "hurt" ME. But yes, I can judge because (1) it's an anonymous site where people come to ask opinions and you don't get to be the opinion police and (2) infidelity DOES hurt the cheated-on spouse and I can be as pi$**d off as I like on behalf of those whose spouses are cheating on them. Your "So be it" attitude is yours, which is fine. Not mine, and not that of others on this thread.
You’re not God and neither am so you have no room nor do I to judge. Next…
Why are you even on DCUM?
Good bathroom reading.
Anonymous
05/29/2023 12:51
Subject: If you had an affair with a married person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I cheat because I don’t want to break up my marriage due to the kids. I love my DH, but I am not in love with him and I need intimacy and he refuses to provide that.
I give the married man I am with something that’s missing in his marriage. Neither one of us wants to get a divorce and we both wished that we would have met each other during different circumstances.
I totally 100% understand how you feel this way and many others will. The piece you are missing though is how you would feel if your husband discovered it.
And does his wife know? You are causing her harm as well as your DH if you haven’t spoken to him about it.