Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 17:51     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!


I can actually imagine feeling sorry for that wife! Her husband plans a weekend away for the family. They drive for awhile and end up at a random house, but they can’t go inside. “It’s ok, babe!” he says with confidence. “Bro and his wife stay here all the time. We’ll have everything we need out here. It’ll be great!” She feels very apprehensive but all the codes work and the kids are already in the pool so she goes with it. After a hot and miserable night sleeping on a porch, she finally relaxes in the cool water of the pool. Maybe this won’t be too bad! Suddenly ….

She’s in a huff as they drive off, her hair still wet from the pool. “I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life! We’ve meet Bro’s wife’s brother once! How could you think this would be ok?” He’s still spouting off about how they should have been allowed to stay and now their weekend is ruined! She turns on the Encanto soundtrack loudly to avoid a big argument in front of the kids, who are confused and upset about everything. As they drive off in silence, she frantically googles Bro’s wife’s brother’s name until she finds his work email. She was raised with proper manners, dagnabit!


You're a great writer, PP. Saw this playing out perfectly in my head (and made a lot of sense).
Thank you for the smile!
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 17:47     Subject: Re:BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:Not all that outrageous but more super awkward, no?

Yes, change security code etc and set better boundaries and expectations. We let our neighbors have key to our house in another state and ask them to park their cars in our driveway.


It's pretty outrageous, and that's an expectation that any normal person would have understood. You LET your neighbors have the key. How would you feel if your neighbors invited their friends to use your house when neither they nor you were there? And didn't tell you?
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 17:44     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!


I can actually imagine feeling sorry for that wife! Her husband plans a weekend away for the family. They drive for awhile and end up at a random house, but they can’t go inside. “It’s ok, babe!” he says with confidence. “Bro and his wife stay here all the time. We’ll have everything we need out here. It’ll be great!” She feels very apprehensive but all the codes work and the kids are already in the pool so she goes with it. After a hot and miserable night sleeping on a porch, she finally relaxes in the cool water of the pool. Maybe this won’t be too bad! Suddenly ….

She’s in a huff as they drive off, her hair still wet from the pool. “I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life! We’ve meet Bro’s wife’s brother once! How could you think this would be ok?” He’s still spouting off about how they should have been allowed to stay and now their weekend is ruined! She turns on the Encanto soundtrack loudly to avoid a big argument in front of the kids, who are confused and upset about everything. As they drive off in silence, she frantically googles Bro’s wife’s brother’s name until she finds his work email. She was raised with proper manners, dagnabit!
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 17:23     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!


Do you really want to ruin your husband’s holiday weekend by having people there who he doesn’t trust and is mad at? You really need to consider what kind of damage you will do to the relationships if you spend an entire weekend together in close quarters so soon after this breach of trust. I’d give your husband time to cool down and move on before spending another weekend together.

Having them all there is just going to remind him of how entitled they have been and will only ruin the relationship.


Agree.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 17:23     Subject: Re:BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Not all that outrageous but more super awkward, no?

Yes, change security code etc and set better boundaries and expectations. We let our neighbors have key to our house in another state and ask them to park their cars in our driveway.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 17:18     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!


Do you really want to ruin your husband’s holiday weekend by having people there who he doesn’t trust and is mad at? You really need to consider what kind of damage you will do to the relationships if you spend an entire weekend together in close quarters so soon after this breach of trust. I’d give your husband time to cool down and move on before spending another weekend together.

Having them all there is just going to remind him of how entitled they have been and will only ruin the relationship.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 17:11     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
It's not a misunderstanding, but clearly new boundaries need to be set. Can you set multiple codes for the house door? If not maybe make that "upgrade". Give your BIL the code the day they're arriving (once you opt to let them back in lol) and then kill it after. I think there's systems where you can set the code to only work during a set date range.

But I agree, don't let this ruin relationships for good, you just know there's some additional conversations that need to happen.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 17:01     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:The OP can ask that question, but I would bet his says, “This was the first time.”


Of course he will lie. Just another confirmation that he is an entitled douchebag. But can make him uncomfortable by asking question.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 16:56     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!


Ok good. Don’t blow up your relationships because of this. What they did was not ok, but in some ways it’s kinda hilarious.just keeping changing the codes every time they come.


Hilarious? More like disgusting.


well yes but it's SO disgusting it's hilarious, in an "oh my GOD you will not BELIEVE what my in-laws did" kind of way.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 16:56     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
The OP can ask that question, but I would bet his says, “This was the first time.”
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 16:55     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!


Ok good. Don’t blow up your relationships because of this. What they did was not ok, it in some ways it’s kinda hilarious.just keeping changing the codes every time they come.


Hilarious? More like disgusting.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 16:54     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
This was NOT a misunderstanding. They knew what they were doing and got caught. I’m sure BIL/SIL told them what to say in email. How would they know your email address if you have met them once in 8 years? BIL is not to be trusted again. Per pp question: has your DH directly asked them how many times they have given access to other people to your home? I would want to know if other people have been in my home. Don’t let that question slide.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 16:53     Subject: Re:BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd cancel Labor Day because it would be impossible for me to enjoy the weekend. I'd still have disappointment/ anger. And I'm sure OP pays through the nose for taxes, upkeep, mortgage, etc.... so I say enjoy your Labor Day weekend, resentment free. You can go back to LDW plans next year when there's a bit more time & distance between the event.


Eventually you have to deal with the resentment and anger. For me, I wouldn’t cancel LDW because I’d want to move past this and skipping would prolong the awkwardness. Not suggesting this wasn’t a huge violation - I have a beach house and I’d be pretty horrified in OPs shoes.


+1
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 16:48     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!


Ok good. Don’t blow up your relationships because of this. What they did was not ok, it in some ways it’s kinda hilarious.just keeping changing the codes every time they come.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2022 16:47     Subject: BIL offered our vacation home to his brother
OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!