Anonymous wrote:1. Got mad at me for not being grateful for the tooth whitening kit she brought me.

2. Told me she was tired of hearing about my trip to Australia. I had only been home 2 days.

3. Said something rude to me and when I told her it was mean told me I was being to sensitive.

4.Made fun of me because I was unsteady walking in heels.
5. Took socks out of my drawer to give to my sister. Doesn't seem like a big deal but those docks are mine and I had planned them for a special outfit. Then punished me for taking them back because I was stealing.

6. Yelled at me because I didn't know what size mattress to get .I was 13 at the time. She said nothing to my father who went shopping with me.

7. Told me you don't get everything you want for your birthday. On it's surface is true. But I hadn't asked for anything. She makes sure to get my siblings whatever they want. And she has said she forgets her birthday isn't a national holiday.

,8. Related to 7. Told me I couldn't get a foll for my birthday be ause to expensive. Bought my sister exactly what she wanted and it was the same price not even 3 weeks later

,9. When I was depressed on medication, suicidal. She told me it was my fault I didn't have friends.

10. Asked me if I should weigh that much . Much being 140 lbs at 5'7" meanwhile she weighed the same at 4 inches shorter and she was talking about how got she was.

11. Not what she said but what she didn't. She never called me pretty .but always said that about my sister's.

I'm sure there's more but that's off the top of my head.

I just wish I knew why she hated me so much

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Have a nice life.” said when she decided she was done with me because my mother in law saw the baby first. She refused to speak to me or visit for two months. I have not been able to open my heart to her since then. It’s been ten years. We have a relationship, but I have been very detached since then. She was always cruel. That comment broke me. My dad walked out when I was four. She knows she was all I had, and always held it over me.

This one brings tears to my eyes (I can relate). So sorry.

Anonymous wrote:Threw a glass of wine in my face. She is a recovered alcoholic and this was at a low point. Implied often that I was not as smart as my brother, not motivated, etc. I may not be as smart as him but we both went to Ivy League schools so I wasn’t that much of a loser!

I’ve come to recognize that these are her issues, not mine.

Anonymous wrote:Your father wanted to abort you.

When I attempted suicide by taking sleeping pills at age 15 while I was still in the hospital bed she said next time jump off a bridge and get the job done right.

Anonymous wrote:"Wish I would've aborted you like the other 3". I am an only child. Nice job, Mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a whole thread exemplifying why we need to LISTEN to women when they say they don't want kids or don't want any more kids, esp for mental health reasons. Sometimes they are wisely judging that they could not handle it. I would like to think I'm incapable of the horrible abuses in this thread but I'd bet a lot of the abusive mothers thought they were, too, until they lost it under stress.

In my experience with my own abusive mother and seeing child abuse as an advocate/attorney in the child welfare system, this is not the problem. Most child abusers don’t have the insight to recognize that they are abusers. Many have very strong narcissistic traits or are outright NPDs.

My mother firmly believed to her dying day that she was a wonderful mother, despite having three children estranged from her for many years prior to her passing. She WAS very good at clothing us, cleaning us, feeding us (regularly, but admittedly a fairly crappy diet of mostly processed foods because she loathed cooking), keeping us housed and getting us to school. But in terms of emotional support she was beyond abysmal - failed to protect us from our very abusive father and abused us herself both verbally and physically. Thinks she did a great job and her estranged kids were ungrateful jerks. Whatever.

The truth is that most women who don’t want children don’t want them because they were abused and fear perpetuating the toxic dysfunction they grew up in. They *want* children, but fear harming them. Then there are women who don’t want children because they just don’t yearn for motherhood - but still enjoy other people’s children and are capable of treating those children with loving kindness. Definitely some women don’t want children and have them to please others, but that doesn’t excuse abuse. Most child abusers are seriously messed up psychologically - you would have to be to endlessly demean and/or beat on a child - but they have zero insight and so don’t believe their behavior is wrong.

Anonymous wrote:My brother sodomized me when I was 11. Neither of my parents reacted when I told them, my mother shrugged. My brother, my Grandfather’s namesake was the chosen one.

Anonymous wrote:This is a whole thread exemplifying why we need to LISTEN to women when they say they don't want kids or don't want any more kids, esp for mental health reasons. Sometimes they are wisely judging that they could not handle it. I would like to think I'm incapable of the horrible abuses in this thread but I'd bet a lot of the abusive mothers thought they were, too, until they lost it under stress.