Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple of women like some of you. One is quote good looking and can't seem to understand why she cannot get beyond LTR for a few years. Basically the guys realize how tied she is to the money and lifestyle and do not want to just be a bottomless wallet and they end it. Another one actually made it to marriage and it took about 5 years of marriage before he realized that he couldn't really afford to stay married and he divorced her, but she makes it out because he was a loser and didn't make enough to support a family (he did, just not up to her standards).

I mean…there are levels to this. A lot of posters said 100k or about what they make. This doesn’t sound like a gold digger situation but, rather, people looking for other professionals with stable careers who can financially contribute to building a family, saving for retirement etc. I wouldn’t be able to support a family on my salary so I’d need to partner with someone who made at least what I do if I was dating and looking to have kids.

This isn’t to say there aren’t people who want to marry rich to live in luxury but there is also a practical component to having a “salary requirement”.

Yeah, I was more referring to the $200K+ categories. The spinster above only wants to date doctors, lawyers, financial types. She is a catch, but too many strings and that's why she has never made it passed LTR. The latter married a guy making probably about $150-175K. She wanted to be able to quit her job and be a SAHM and she didn't think he made enough money for that. He finally realized it would be better to be a co-parent than continue to deal with that.

Yes. I’m not wealthy enough to support a household by myself. I would not date a man that made significantly less than me. If I didn’t want kids, I wouldn’t care as long as he could support himself.

Only 200k+

Several factors: age and body for me.
As an attractive, in shape male with high income (high annual six figures) in 40s, I’d be willing overlook less than 100k if her bra size, weight, looks, and age fall in line.

I don’t care, I can support myself.

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple of women like some of you. One is quote good looking and can't seem to understand why she cannot get beyond LTR for a few years. Basically the guys realize how tied she is to the money and lifestyle and do not want to just be a bottomless wallet and they end it. Another one actually made it to marriage and it took about 5 years of marriage before he realized that he couldn't really afford to stay married and he divorced her, but she makes it out because he was a loser and didn't make enough to support a family (he did, just not up to her standards).

I mean…there are levels to this. A lot of posters said 100k or about what they make. This doesn’t sound like a gold digger situation but, rather, people looking for other professionals with stable careers who can financially contribute to building a family, saving for retirement etc. I wouldn’t be able to support a family on my salary so I’d need to partner with someone who made at least what I do if I was dating and looking to have kids.

This isn’t to say there aren’t people who want to marry rich to live in luxury but there is also a practical component to having a “salary requirement”.

I know a couple of women like some of you. One is quote good looking and can't seem to understand why she cannot get beyond LTR for a few years. Basically the guys realize how tied she is to the money and lifestyle and do not want to just be a bottomless wallet and they end it. Another one actually made it to marriage and it took about 5 years of marriage before he realized that he couldn't really afford to stay married and he divorced her, but she makes it out because he was a loser and didn't make enough to support a family (he did, just not up to her standards).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 50 yo woman making -$200K

I could go as low as $160K if he was a scientist or artist.

I’d expect him to have $10K/month + a paid off mortgage in retirement

Do you realize most federal attorneys make about 160k? An artist is not going to make 160K. My sister in law is a Harvard PhD scientist and does not make 100k. Get a reality check on salaries.

Most federal scientists make GS-14 which is ~$160.

I was referring to a university scientist. Most scientists are not feds.

How does she not make $100k? Senior people in the humanities make over that, I would assume scientists are double or more. Is she at a liberal arts college or just starting out?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 50 yo woman making -$200K

I could go as low as $160K if he was a scientist or artist.

I’d expect him to have $10K/month + a paid off mortgage in retirement

Do you realize most federal attorneys make about 160k? An artist is not going to make 160K. My sister in law is a Harvard PhD scientist and does not make 100k. Get a reality check on salaries.

Most federal scientists make GS-14 which is ~$160.

I make 140. The only way I’d likely make more than that is working for a company I don’t like so it’s unlikely I will make more than that. Plus I have a generous pension and fully paid for health care so that’s pretty nice. My wife makes less( we both have graduate degrees btw) we live in dc, own our house. Besides the mortgage no debt. Somehow we manage to do perfectly well. I mean we don’t get to drive luxury cars but that’s not something either of us feel strongly about. I understand wanting to be with someone with a stable job and who is financially responsible but the gross materialism on here is sad. If you are a middle aged woman with a good career why are you so concerned about dating a rich guy? At what point do you demand to see the guy’s W-2?

I mean that having a standard is not only acceptable

Ah, women as worried about what other women think as about anything else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 50 yo woman making -$200K

I could go as low as $160K if he was a scientist or artist.

I’d expect him to have $10K/month + a paid off mortgage in retirement

Do you realize most federal attorneys make about 160k? An artist is not going to make 160K. My sister in law is a Harvard PhD scientist and does not make 100k. Get a reality check on salaries.

Most federal scientists make GS-14 which is ~$160.

I was referring to a university scientist. Most scientists are not feds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This question and most of the responses are gross. Ew.

m

+1. Think of all the amazing people the PPs are willing to cast aside, like every single person who chose a service profession over a high income. It’s sad.

-1. Income and income potential is important in choosing a life partner unless you are able to support your spouse and children on your income, alone. It’s entirely fair for someone to have a standard.

“It’s entirely fair”: what does that even mean? And can you make your standards work, or are you holding out for a unicorn?

I mean that having a standard is not only acceptable but useful in choosing a partner. Some people do have unrealistic standards. Many don’t. It is naive to say that money doesn’t matter. It does, obviously. To pretend this shouldn’t be considered when dating is silly.

I'd expect my income plus the gender pay gap, so 290K. No excuses. If I can make as much, then so can he. I don't have consumer debt, so I expect no consumer debt either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This question and most of the responses are gross. Ew.

m

+1. Think of all the amazing people the PPs are willing to cast aside, like every single person who chose a service profession over a high income. It’s sad.

Ummm….not really.

I married a man who may never make $100K because he decided to work in a service profession after college. That’s okay with me. I value his honesty, intellect, and compassion more than what’s in his wallet and what it can buy me.

He makes $45K?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This question and most of the responses are gross. Ew.

m

+1. Think of all the amazing people the PPs are willing to cast aside, like every single person who chose a service profession over a high income. It’s sad.

-1. Income and income potential is important in choosing a life partner unless you are able to support your spouse and children on your income, alone. It’s entirely fair for someone to have a standard.

“It’s entirely fair”: what does that even mean? And can you make your standards work, or are you holding out for a unicorn?

I think most people marry like incomes.

Big law/plastic surgeon
2 feds
A teacher and a store manager

I think it’s common to want a partner that holds their own in many ways.