Anonymous
07/31/2021 07:45
Subject: Re:Budget Frustration
It doesn’t sound like you live your house. I’d move because I wouldn’t want to live a totally austere lifestyle, I’d rather have a different house, but admittedly this area is expensive and commutes are bad.
I didn’t read the whole thread to see where you are located. If jobs/commutes allow I would move. Your kids sound young and not that established in friend groups as of yet. I would consider a nice townhouse. Depending on where you can get something nice between 600-900k relatively close in (thinking Mclean, Falls Church, Vienna in mr head) and that would cut your mortgage 1/3 to 1/2 and then once daycare expenses open up you’ll have a lot more $$$. And, you’ll probably have fewer repair costs. Pick a nice neighborhood that’s well kept with lots of kids.
I didn’t read the whole thread to see where you are located. If jobs/commutes allow I would move. Your kids sound young and not that established in friend groups as of yet. I would consider a nice townhouse. Depending on where you can get something nice between 600-900k relatively close in (thinking Mclean, Falls Church, Vienna in mr head) and that would cut your mortgage 1/3 to 1/2 and then once daycare expenses open up you’ll have a lot more $$$. And, you’ll probably have fewer repair costs. Pick a nice neighborhood that’s well kept with lots of kids.
Anonymous
07/31/2021 06:12
Subject: Re:Budget Frustration
I’ve read this thread entirely too. $250k is plenty of money. You can stay close in if you want to but as folks have said, it needs a complete reboot of your mind and expectations. For example, thinking “travel is your only splurge”. Travel is not your only splurge. If you have housekeepers on that budget, the house cleaner should be your only splurge. The rest should be cut out. Once daycare is over, you can revisit travel.
It sounds like you feel like you are living a very normal life with those expenses, but that’s you’re own feeling. Maybe you are? Or maybe everyone around you just has a ton of credit card debt? What you do know is everyone on this board is telling you your expenses are not normal and something needs to change.
I don’t think you need to move. But it also sounds like you hate the house so perhaps you should try and find some homes within your budget and bring your wife to some open houses over the weekend to get used to the neighborhoods. She’ll come around once she sees the nicer homes, bigger lots, community, and that she can keep enjoying her travel and fruit!
It sounds like you feel like you are living a very normal life with those expenses, but that’s you’re own feeling. Maybe you are? Or maybe everyone around you just has a ton of credit card debt? What you do know is everyone on this board is telling you your expenses are not normal and something needs to change.
I don’t think you need to move. But it also sounds like you hate the house so perhaps you should try and find some homes within your budget and bring your wife to some open houses over the weekend to get used to the neighborhoods. She’ll come around once she sees the nicer homes, bigger lots, community, and that she can keep enjoying her travel and fruit!
Anonymous
07/31/2021 06:09
Subject: Budget Frustration
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your HHI drops to 250k, then your 14k /month expenses will be about 67% of your gross. That is not sustainable. Once daycare goes away, things might be ok, but it will still be tight.
[b]The mortgage will be 25% of gross. That is a perfectly reasonable number. If you paid off 100k, it would be even more reasonable.[/b]
The 16k a year for travel works out to about 6.5% of gross. That is on the high side. Coupled with the 8 weeks of camp, you could cut someplace there.
You can do everything and not save a lot. You you want to be able to save, you need to move, cut your travel down and watch your smaller expenses, OR have DH keep his job.
I personally would use up the 100k buffer and not save for a year or two while trying to cut expenses and see what happens.[/quote]
This is what is puzzling me, the rule of thumb was 1/3 of gross income, and we are well below that, but once we add everything up its crushing.
I wish we could boot spouse's parents off mobile plan, that would save $100/month right there
We should look at Cricket I think or something...
[b]Travel is like our one splurge,[/b] I will try to talk spouse into more camping... and when kids are older I think a beach vacation where we have a longer walk to beach would be more feasible.
Spouse won't keep job, that is clear. Either change jobs or eventually will be pushed out.
How could we use the $100k to reduce our mortgage payment, is that refactoring?[/quote]
Are . . . are you kidding?
Seriously, look at your budget again. Come on. [/quote]
I thought the same thing. House cleaners, educational camps, etc.
[b]The mortgage will be 25% of gross. That is a perfectly reasonable number. If you paid off 100k, it would be even more reasonable.[/b]
The 16k a year for travel works out to about 6.5% of gross. That is on the high side. Coupled with the 8 weeks of camp, you could cut someplace there.
You can do everything and not save a lot. You you want to be able to save, you need to move, cut your travel down and watch your smaller expenses, OR have DH keep his job.
I personally would use up the 100k buffer and not save for a year or two while trying to cut expenses and see what happens.[/quote]
This is what is puzzling me, the rule of thumb was 1/3 of gross income, and we are well below that, but once we add everything up its crushing.
I wish we could boot spouse's parents off mobile plan, that would save $100/month right there
We should look at Cricket I think or something...
[b]Travel is like our one splurge,[/b] I will try to talk spouse into more camping... and when kids are older I think a beach vacation where we have a longer walk to beach would be more feasible.
Spouse won't keep job, that is clear. Either change jobs or eventually will be pushed out.
How could we use the $100k to reduce our mortgage payment, is that refactoring?[/quote]
Are . . . are you kidding?
Seriously, look at your budget again. Come on. [/quote]
I thought the same thing. House cleaners, educational camps, etc.
Anonymous
07/31/2021 05:14
Subject: Budget Frustration
Here let me help you:
Expense
House -$5,100.00 ($1.2M house)
Daycare -$1,688.00 (ends Sep 2022)
Insurance -$400.00
Internet -$50.00
Mobile -$300.00 (Pay for our phones and our parents) - SHOP AROUND as you can get a better price for 3 phones
Beach Week -$416.67 - TIME TO CUT OUT BEACH WEEK
Home Repair -$1,166.67 (Old house, we expect 1% repairs a year)
Streaming -$40.00 - Youtube is free
Groceries -$1,500.00 - Aldi's, Costco, Lidl and Walmart - $600 a month
Family Trip -$250.00 - no need for this
Vacation -$666.67 - time to cut out vacations
Camps -$500.00 (3 kids 8 weeks, mostly academic enrichment) - A few workbooks - $100 a year
Med -$133.33
Shop -$625.00 - What are you buying, cut this in half!
Kids Activities -$166.67 (rec sports and academic enrichment)
Cleaner -$300.00 - CLEAN YOUR OWN HOUSE
Cars -$200.00 (Paid off, this is just maint and gas for short commutes)
Utils $375.00
Sell the house and buy something more affordable.
Expense
House -$5,100.00 ($1.2M house)
Daycare -$1,688.00 (ends Sep 2022)
Insurance -$400.00
Internet -$50.00
Mobile -$300.00 (Pay for our phones and our parents) - SHOP AROUND as you can get a better price for 3 phones
Beach Week -$416.67 - TIME TO CUT OUT BEACH WEEK
Home Repair -$1,166.67 (Old house, we expect 1% repairs a year)
Streaming -$40.00 - Youtube is free
Groceries -$1,500.00 - Aldi's, Costco, Lidl and Walmart - $600 a month
Family Trip -$250.00 - no need for this
Vacation -$666.67 - time to cut out vacations
Camps -$500.00 (3 kids 8 weeks, mostly academic enrichment) - A few workbooks - $100 a year
Med -$133.33
Shop -$625.00 - What are you buying, cut this in half!
Kids Activities -$166.67 (rec sports and academic enrichment)
Cleaner -$300.00 - CLEAN YOUR OWN HOUSE
Cars -$200.00 (Paid off, this is just maint and gas for short commutes)
Utils $375.00
Sell the house and buy something more affordable.
Anonymous
07/31/2021 04:52
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How do you spend $1500 a month on groceries if you are vegetarian? This makes zero sense. Do you have a personal chief cooking it?
They’re apparently eating a bushel of apples a week.
Did you notice there is no dining or entertainment category. What about car repairs. I bet that was just big time rounded up.
We never ate out even before the pandemic. Just not a thing for us.
Same with entertainment, we are extreme homebodies, we like to travel, hike, bike, garden, I don’t know what to tell you. Never went to movies. I mean we would go to a kids indoor sports center in the winter once or twice.
What is entertainment? Our $12 Netflix subscription? Our new deck of cards?
Car repairs is there, it’s $200/month (car insurance was listed within insurance). Cars are paid off, we don’t commute far so gas is $40, so you are talking $1500/year in average repair and maintenance.
Anonymous
07/31/2021 02:45
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How do you spend $1500 a month on groceries if you are vegetarian? This makes zero sense. Do you have a personal chief cooking it?
They’re apparently eating a bushel of apples a week.
Did you notice there is no dining or entertainment category. What about car repairs. I bet that was just big time rounded up.
Anonymous
07/31/2021 02:43
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:So we live in an old sheet shack w/addition close in to be close to spouse's work, which has a big mortgage because of that "premiere" location.
Spouse's job has taken a nosedive under new management, and looking for new work but likely would take a paycut from $250k to $100k; I make $150k, so this is not a hardship except for huge mortgage. We have about $100k in cash/stocks we could apply towards mortgage, but I liked having cash around for emergencies.
Here's our budget, is there anyway spouse can take new job without necessitating us moving? I don't think so, but let us know if our budget could be tweaked in a way I'm not seeing. We travel a bit, 1 week to see family at holidays (flights), one week to the beach, and usually some other kind of vacation, like a national park trip or a new city like Denver or something.
Income: Self $6,200.00
Spouse $14,400.00 (would drop to $4500 I think)
Expense
House -$5,100.00 ($1.2M house)
Daycare -$1,688.00 (ends Sep 2022)
Insurance -$400.00
Internet -$50.00
Mobile -$300.00 (Pay for our phones and our parents)
Beach Week -$416.67
Home Repair -$1,166.67 (Old house, we expect 1% repairs a year)
Streaming -$40.00
Groceries -$1,500.00
Family Trip -$250.00
Vacation -$666.67
Camps -$500.00 (3 kids 8 weeks, mostly academic enrichment)
Med -$133.33
Shop -$625.00
Kids Activities -$166.67 (rec sports and academic enrichment)
Cleaner -$300.00
Cars -$200.00 (Paid off, this is just maint and gas for short commutes)
Utils $375.00
The albatross around our neck is mortgage. We already financed down to a 2.75%. I wish we had known spouse would need to change careers before we moved here, but what can you do; I guess better to own now than to have been renting still and dealing with pandemic price spikes.
Any options here, I'm beyond frustrated to have to disrupt kids and move to some far exurb to something we can afford after the year they had, but I think that is our only play.
Wow DCUM NEVER disappoints. Yeah you will die with a quarter million salary. You guys will be more than fine. Daycare won’t be forever. The expensive house is an asset. Why can’t he take the $100k job. You will be fine.
Anonymous
07/30/2021 23:56
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:How do you spend $1500 a month on groceries if you are vegetarian? This makes zero sense. Do you have a personal chief cooking it?
They’re apparently eating a bushel of apples a week.
Anonymous
07/30/2021 23:23
Subject: Budget Frustration
How do you spend $1500 a month on groceries if you are vegetarian? This makes zero sense. Do you have a personal chief cooking it?
Anonymous
07/30/2021 23:21
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How in the world do you spend $1500 per MONTH on groceries?
Do you feed an entire football team?
That is my [b]rent[b] each month. RENT.
This isn’t about organic or fancy cuts of meat, this is us shopping at the grocery stores near us. We compared prices between Giant, Safeway, Moms, and Tj and they were all about the same. It’s when you go to further suburbs that prices drop, not when you pick the $1 tomato vs the $1.10 organic tomato. Also, things like Aldi, Lidl, Costco can help a LOT.
We go through a lot of fresh fruit, that’s expensive. Maybe to fruit baskets a week? 2 gallons of milk. 4 dozen eggs. 10 boxes of tofu. Then 3 heads of cauliflower, a box of spinach, romaine hearts, dozen tomatoes, box of cherry tomatoes, 2 boxes of celery, 2 loaves of French bread, 1 loaf of sliced bread. Two yogurts. That’s probably weekly staples.
That is a lot of expensive food. If you want to eat healthy but eat more cheaply, try buying rice and dried beans in bulk and eating them at least 3-4 times/week. And make your own hummus. Also, if you want to eat healthy, why are you buying french bread? it is just empty calories.
None of that is costly. Lido has that. Asian markets for tofu.
Yes, these are all good options when we have time to drive 20 miles for groceries or spend the weekends at yard sales rather than the home repairs and chores we now do on weekends. The whole reason we are spending so much is because we don’t have time to bargain shop or browse yard sales (and I’m skeptical of that, most have been just absolute junk).
A once a week trip to a less costly grocery store will go far. Take the 4 year old and get there when the store opens on Sun or Sat. You can get nearly everything in that trip.
Most grocery stores are open till 9 PM, some later. Go at night when the other parent is home. Simple.
Anonymous
07/30/2021 23:20
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I've been with this thread from the beginning. I have responded a few times, always kindly. I've now decided OP is a troll just trying to keep the conversation going. How can he not see that there is no way around it. He has two choices. Reduce spending (yes, stop with the expensive groceries and crazy travel, and sell the house they can't afford) OR increase income. As someone else said, it's simple math.
Me too and I agree with you. At first I believed him but this whole 10 boxes of tofu is ridiculous.
Even if I just slice and bake tofu, you don't need more than a pack and I doubt they eat it daily. We eat it a few times a week and usually we use a 1/2 container except if I make it all for leftovers. Tofu is $1.50 max. Eggs are $1.50 max. So, the foods they are stating are the least expensive foods there are.
Anonymous
07/30/2021 23:19
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How in the world do you spend $1500 per MONTH on groceries?
Do you feed an entire football team?
That is my [b]rent[b] each month. RENT.
This isn’t about organic or fancy cuts of meat, this is us shopping at the grocery stores near us. We compared prices between Giant, Safeway, Moms, and Tj and they were all about the same. It’s when you go to further suburbs that prices drop, not when you pick the $1 tomato vs the $1.10 organic tomato. Also, things like Aldi, Lidl, Costco can help a LOT.
We go through a lot of fresh fruit, that’s expensive. Maybe to fruit baskets a week? 2 gallons of milk. 4 dozen eggs. 10 boxes of tofu. Then 3 heads of cauliflower, a box of spinach, romaine hearts, dozen tomatoes, box of cherry tomatoes, 2 boxes of celery, 2 loaves of French bread, 1 loaf of sliced bread. Two yogurts. That’s probably weekly staples.
That is a lot of expensive food. If you want to eat healthy but eat more cheaply, try buying rice and dried beans in bulk and eating them at least 3-4 times/week. And make your own hummus. Also, if you want to eat healthy, why are you buying french bread? it is just empty calories.
None of that is costly. Lido has that. Asian markets for tofu.
Yes, these are all good options when we have time to drive 20 miles for groceries or spend the weekends at yard sales rather than the home repairs and chores we now do on weekends. The whole reason we are spending so much is because we don’t have time to bargain shop or browse yard sales (and I’m skeptical of that, most have been just absolute junk).
You can shop twice a month, like we do. Tofu saves a few weeks. Buy 8 dozen eggs, 4 gallons of milk, etc. Freeze bread. You are making excuses. Tofu is 3 times as much at Safeway than Lidli or an Asian market.
Anonymous
07/30/2021 23:18
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I've been with this thread from the beginning. I have responded a few times, always kindly. I've now decided OP is a troll just trying to keep the conversation going. How can he not see that there is no way around it. He has two choices. Reduce spending (yes, stop with the expensive groceries and crazy travel, and sell the house they can't afford) OR increase income. As someone else said, it's simple math.
Me too and I agree with you. At first I believed him but this whole 10 boxes of tofu is ridiculous.
And he poo-poos all the suggestions.
Curious what you think the solution is OP?
Anonymous
07/30/2021 23:12
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:I've been with this thread from the beginning. I have responded a few times, always kindly. I've now decided OP is a troll just trying to keep the conversation going. How can he not see that there is no way around it. He has two choices. Reduce spending (yes, stop with the expensive groceries and crazy travel, and sell the house they can't afford) OR increase income. As someone else said, it's simple math.
Me too and I agree with you. At first I believed him but this whole 10 boxes of tofu is ridiculous.
Anonymous
07/30/2021 23:10
Subject: Budget Frustration
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How in the world do you spend $1500 per MONTH on groceries?
Do you feed an entire football team?
That is my [b]rent[b] each month. RENT.
This isn’t about organic or fancy cuts of meat, this is us shopping at the grocery stores near us. We compared prices between Giant, Safeway, Moms, and Tj and they were all about the same. It’s when you go to further suburbs that prices drop, not when you pick the $1 tomato vs the $1.10 organic tomato. Also, things like Aldi, Lidl, Costco can help a LOT.
We go through a lot of fresh fruit, that’s expensive. Maybe to fruit baskets a week? 2 gallons of milk. 4 dozen eggs. 10 boxes of tofu. Then 3 heads of cauliflower, a box of spinach, romaine hearts, dozen tomatoes, box of cherry tomatoes, 2 boxes of celery, 2 loaves of French bread, 1 loaf of sliced bread. Two yogurts. That’s probably weekly staples.
That is a lot of expensive food. If you want to eat healthy but eat more cheaply, try buying rice and dried beans in bulk and eating them at least 3-4 times/week. And make your own hummus. Also, if you want to eat healthy, why are you buying french bread? it is just empty calories.
None of that is costly. Lido has that. Asian markets for tofu.
Yes, these are all good options when we have time to drive 20 miles for groceries or spend the weekends at yard sales rather than the home repairs and chores we now do on weekends. The whole reason we are spending so much is because we don’t have time to bargain shop or browse yard sales (and I’m skeptical of that, most have been just absolute junk).
A once a week trip to a less costly grocery store will go far. Take the 4 year old and get there when the store opens on Sun or Sat. You can get nearly everything in that trip.