Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter if the woman is younger, older, married, not married? Point it still the same, your husband doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship. It is cheating, no matter who it is with.

I don’t agree with vilifying the other affair person though. Not in the context of your own marriage. They obviously have their own issues and personal flaws, but that is beside the point. A marriage is between two people- those two people are solely responsibly for the survival of the marriage. A person committed to their spouse and marriage doesn’t cheat. You can’t blame someone else (other than your spouse or yourself) for the the breakdown on your marriage.

Most cheating (husbands) though is due to a sexless marriage. So the "breakdown" is not the cheating, it's the sexlessness which precedes the cheating.

That, or another marriage issue, or a personal flaw of the cheating spouse...but the “other” person is not the reason or where to put the blame. I don’t get why women get so hung up on the other woman when the problem is actually their husband.

So I don’t know why it’s not possible to say that the husband is definitely at fault but also say that the other woman is also at fault. I don’t get why this is a big issue?

Well because then these APs would have to assume some moral responsibility. No, no they are good character.

Because the other person isn’t married to you.

Yes. And you have no character if you think boinking married people is an okay/dandy thing to do. You might want to explore why you do that with a therapist. Daddy issues, depression, bipolar? No mentally sound, moral person looks to screw married people,,,and married people with kids...god bless you.

Histrionic personality disorder. Very common for women cheaters or women attracted to 'drama relationships' (like an affair with a married men inherently is). Textbook case of the 2 cheating women I know. Very self-aggrandizing on social media. Constant need for drama and validation.

Lol. You know many cheating women. You only think you know two.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband left me for a woman 10 years younger. She is very close to a younger version of myself. Bizarre. Anyway, my kids were/are devastated. I'm fine.

This is such a *thing*. I have known multiple men who have left women for just younger versions of the exact same woman. And I don't mean just in appearance. I mean similar personalities, similar life goals, same jobs. It is very obvious and I am always confused why the younger woman doesn't see it. It would freak me out if my fiancé recently divorced my older doppelgänger. They must not see it, right?

But yeah, in most cases the ex wife is happy to wash their hands of him. The one case where I feel like the divorce was really hurtful to the ex was a couple I know who had fertility issues for years (and she really, really wanted a baby) and he left her for a younger version of her, who immediately had a baby. That was absolutely devastating. I still get mad just thinking about it.

I've found this to be true, too. We weren't married (pretty young, mid 20s) but in a LTR 3y+ and I'd told him I wanted to graduate from university before getting married. When HE kept bothering me trying to come back and date him again I snapped at him to stop trying to make her dress/act/pick up my old hobbies (she had the audacity to complain to me that he would do this to me). I promptly told her what was going on after the 2nd-3rd time he asked me to get back together while they were dating. She was 17-18 and still in high school when they first got together, which was ~3-4y younger than him and I think it is too much that young. She was a copy of myself, basically, if I had become an alcoholic at age 15. Her parents even had the same professions as mine.

It was weird he'd told her he had a problem with my weight, which is something his alcoholic mother used to harp about, going so far as to smack food out of my hands. I'm 5'6, was a max of 110lbs and in varsity sport at the time. She was ~2" shorter and lighter when he started cheating on me with her from being in track relative to me at that point. She married him anyway a couple years later and they are now both heavy and not very successful.

She gained weight as soon as she left high school just like I did because we weren't getting daily gym class+competitive athletics and y'know, aged a little bit. I think women fill out a bit more, naturally, at 23-25 and that's ok. It was going from 110lb to 115-120ish sort of thing for me.

Really, she looks like me but behaviorally is more like his mom than I ever was and looks more like his mom with age. I think part of his weight thing was a hang up of his from having been overweight in MS, his mother's behavior and an entitlement issue from when he used to look good as a star athlete (back when we dated). I don't think he'd be able to find anyone as attractive as her by the time they married-he'd gained at least 50-70lb and was balding by then.

Idk. I thankfully got over the very temporary hang up about my weight and married someone else ages ago who is as successful and athletic as I am who doesn't complain that my Greek salad with feta is "too many calories" while he gorges on pizza or complains when I make more than he does. Life is too short to waste time on people like that and I'm grateful I dodged that bullet.

I feel so badly for the woman with fertility issues, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who divorced after a ten year marriage. He has one kid and he's in his mid 40s. I knew his wife fairly well and she was nice, but overall not very motivated. I could tell they weren't extremely compatible because their personalities differ too much.

It was sad to see them divorce. But, since then he's much happier and has dated several ladies who are 5-10 years younger than him. I believe one lady was in her late 29s and very attractive.

One evening I asked him what they do together considering their age difference. He simply said they liked the same things. I realized...that's all it takes. Age is a factor, but in the end when two people have the same interests you can be together. They both loved cooking, the same movies, going to the same places to eat, etc. Of course I'm sure the sex was off the wall amazing. This lady looked like a model.

In the end it goes back to commonality. It's easy to be with someone who thinks like you, wants the same things, and look at life the same way regardless of age.

Couldn't agree more PP. Wish his wife would understand we belong together. Guess I'll wait until he leaves her old a**.

It sounds like he hasn’t told his wife about you for a reason. I mean I’m sure a cheating liar is being honest to you . Might be waiting a long time....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who divorced after a ten year marriage. He has one kid and he's in his mid 40s. I knew his wife fairly well and she was nice, but overall not very motivated. I could tell they weren't extremely compatible because their personalities differ too much.

It was sad to see them divorce. But, since then he's much happier and has dated several ladies who are 5-10 years younger than him. I believe one lady was in her late 29s and very attractive.

One evening I asked him what they do together considering their age difference. He simply said they liked the same things. I realized...that's all it takes. Age is a factor, but in the end when two people have the same interests you can be together. They both loved cooking, the same movies, going to the same places to eat, etc. Of course I'm sure the sex was off the wall amazing. This lady looked like a model.

In the end it goes back to commonality. It's easy to be with someone who thinks like you, wants the same things, and look at life the same way regardless of age.

Maybe his ex-wife is now also very happy to not be married to a serial cheater and personality-disordered liar anymore?

Ha! True. Not motivated? Is this code for a SAHM? Anyone want to guess what happens 5-10 years into his next marriage? I’m sure these late 20s women want kids of their own. Hopefully, they examine why his first marriage ended before signing up.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who divorced after a ten year marriage. He has one kid and he's in his mid 40s. I knew his wife fairly well and she was nice, but overall not very motivated. I could tell they weren't extremely compatible because their personalities differ too much.

It was sad to see them divorce. But, since then he's much happier and has dated several ladies who are 5-10 years younger than him. I believe one lady was in her late 29s and very attractive.

One evening I asked him what they do together considering their age difference. He simply said they liked the same things. I realized...that's all it takes. Age is a factor, but in the end when two people have the same interests you can be together. They both loved cooking, the same movies, going to the same places to eat, etc. Of course I'm sure the sex was off the wall amazing. This lady looked like a model.

In the end it goes back to commonality. It's easy to be with someone who thinks like you, wants the same things, and look at life the same way regardless of age.

Maybe his ex-wife is now also very happy to not be married to a serial cheater and personality-disordered liar anymore?

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who divorced after a ten year marriage. He has one kid and he's in his mid 40s. I knew his wife fairly well and she was nice, but overall not very motivated. I could tell they weren't extremely compatible because their personalities differ too much.

It was sad to see them divorce. But, since then he's much happier and has dated several ladies who are 5-10 years younger than him. I believe one lady was in her late 29s and very attractive.

One evening I asked him what they do together considering their age difference. He simply said they liked the same things. I realized...that's all it takes. Age is a factor, but in the end when two people have the same interests you can be together. They both loved cooking, the same movies, going to the same places to eat, etc. Of course I'm sure the sex was off the wall amazing. This lady looked like a model.

In the end it goes back to commonality. It's easy to be with someone who thinks like you, wants the same things, and look at life the same way regardless of age.

Don't be silly. Often the OW is simply telling him what he wants to hear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who divorced after a ten year marriage. He has one kid and he's in his mid 40s. I knew his wife fairly well and she was nice, but overall not very motivated. I could tell they weren't extremely compatible because their personalities differ too much.

It was sad to see them divorce. But, since then he's much happier and has dated several ladies who are 5-10 years younger than him. I believe one lady was in her late 29s and very attractive.

One evening I asked him what they do together considering their age difference. He simply said they liked the same things. I realized...that's all it takes. Age is a factor, but in the end when two people have the same interests you can be together. They both loved cooking, the same movies, going to the same places to eat, etc. Of course I'm sure the sex was off the wall amazing. This lady looked like a model.

In the end it goes back to commonality. It's easy to be with someone who thinks like you, wants the same things, and look at life the same way regardless of age.

Couldn't agree more PP. Wish his wife would understand we belong together. Guess I'll wait until he leaves her old a**.

LOL

That's what Mark Geradot's AP said. His wife was not going to get divorced after 30 years, and dealt with the AP. All bad choices, and yes the AP was equally responsible and suffered the consequences of hurting someone's family.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who divorced after a ten year marriage. He has one kid and he's in his mid 40s. I knew his wife fairly well and she was nice, but overall not very motivated. I could tell they weren't extremely compatible because their personalities differ too much.

It was sad to see them divorce. But, since then he's much happier and has dated several ladies who are 5-10 years younger than him. I believe one lady was in her late 29s and very attractive.

One evening I asked him what they do together considering their age difference. He simply said they liked the same things. I realized...that's all it takes. Age is a factor, but in the end when two people have the same interests you can be together. They both loved cooking, the same movies, going to the same places to eat, etc. Of course I'm sure the sex was off the wall amazing. This lady looked like a model.

In the end it goes back to commonality. It's easy to be with someone who thinks like you, wants the same things, and look at life the same way regardless of age.

Couldn't agree more PP. Wish his wife would understand we belong together. Guess I'll wait until he leaves her old a**.

I have a friend who divorced after a ten year marriage. He has one kid and he's in his mid 40s. I knew his wife fairly well and she was nice, but overall not very motivated. I could tell they weren't extremely compatible because their personalities differ too much.

It was sad to see them divorce. But, since then he's much happier and has dated several ladies who are 5-10 years younger than him. I believe one lady was in her late 29s and very attractive.

One evening I asked him what they do together considering their age difference. He simply said they liked the same things. I realized...that's all it takes. Age is a factor, but in the end when two people have the same interests you can be together. They both loved cooking, the same movies, going to the same places to eat, etc. Of course I'm sure the sex was off the wall amazing. This lady looked like a model.

In the end it goes back to commonality. It's easy to be with someone who thinks like you, wants the same things, and look at life the same way regardless of age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter if the woman is younger, older, married, not married? Point it still the same, your husband doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship. It is cheating, no matter who it is with.

I don’t agree with vilifying the other affair person though. Not in the context of your own marriage. They obviously have their own issues and personal flaws, but that is beside the point. A marriage is between two people- those two people are solely responsibly for the survival of the marriage. A person committed to their spouse and marriage doesn’t cheat. You can’t blame someone else (other than your spouse or yourself) for the the breakdown on your marriage.

Most cheating (husbands) though is due to a sexless marriage. So the "breakdown" is not the cheating, it's the sexlessness which precedes the cheating.

That, or another marriage issue, or a personal flaw of the cheating spouse...but the “other” person is not the reason or where to put the blame. I don’t get why women get so hung up on the other woman when the problem is actually their husband.

So I don’t know why it’s not possible to say that the husband is definitely at fault but also say that the other woman is also at fault. I don’t get why this is a big issue?

Well because then these APs would have to assume some moral responsibility. No, no they are good character.

Because the other person isn’t married to you.

Yes. And you have no character if you think boinking married people is an okay/dandy thing to do. You might want to explore why you do that with a therapist. Daddy issues, depression, bipolar? No mentally sound, moral person looks to screw married people,,,and married people with kids...god bless you.

Again, that is who your husband picked to cheat on you with. HE is the problem. I'm sorry you picked a sh*t man to marry. It isn't your fault and sometimes you can't tell until they do something terrible to you. But again, the spouse is the one that is making the choice to destroy your marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter if the woman is younger, older, married, not married? Point it still the same, your husband doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship. It is cheating, no matter who it is with.

I don’t agree with vilifying the other affair person though. Not in the context of your own marriage. They obviously have their own issues and personal flaws, but that is beside the point. A marriage is between two people- those two people are solely responsibly for the survival of the marriage. A person committed to their spouse and marriage doesn’t cheat. You can’t blame someone else (other than your spouse or yourself) for the the breakdown on your marriage.

Most cheating (husbands) though is due to a sexless marriage. So the "breakdown" is not the cheating, it's the sexlessness which precedes the cheating.

That, or another marriage issue, or a personal flaw of the cheating spouse...but the “other” person is not the reason or where to put the blame. I don’t get why women get so hung up on the other woman when the problem is actually their husband.

So I don’t know why it’s not possible to say that the husband is definitely at fault but also say that the other woman is also at fault. I don’t get why this is a big issue?

Well because then these APs would have to assume some moral responsibility. No, no they are good character.

Because the other person isn’t married to you.

Yes. And you have no character if you think boinking married people is an okay/dandy thing to do. You might want to explore why you do that with a therapist. Daddy issues, depression, bipolar? No mentally sound, moral person looks to screw married people,,,and married people with kids...god bless you.

Histrionic personality disorder. Very common for women cheaters or women attracted to 'drama relationships' (like an affair with a married men inherently is). Textbook case of the 2 cheating women I know. Very self-aggrandizing on social media. Constant need for drama and validation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter if the woman is younger, older, married, not married? Point it still the same, your husband doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship. It is cheating, no matter who it is with.

I don’t agree with vilifying the other affair person though. Not in the context of your own marriage. They obviously have their own issues and personal flaws, but that is beside the point. A marriage is between two people- those two people are solely responsibly for the survival of the marriage. A person committed to their spouse and marriage doesn’t cheat. You can’t blame someone else (other than your spouse or yourself) for the the breakdown on your marriage.

Most cheating (husbands) though is due to a sexless marriage. So the "breakdown" is not the cheating, it's the sexlessness which precedes the cheating.

That, or another marriage issue, or a personal flaw of the cheating spouse...but the “other” person is not the reason or where to put the blame. I don’t get why women get so hung up on the other woman when the problem is actually their husband.

So I don’t know why it’s not possible to say that the husband is definitely at fault but also say that the other woman is also at fault. I don’t get why this is a big issue?

Well because then these APs would have to assume some moral responsibility. No, no they are good character.

Because the other person isn’t married to you.

Yes. And you have no character if you think boinking married people is an okay/dandy thing to do. You might want to explore why you do that with a therapist. Daddy issues, depression, bipolar? No mentally sound, moral person looks to screw married people,,,and married people with kids...god bless you.