Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you feed your kids while your wife was on her "lengthy deployment"?

Do that again until she addresses her depression.

You don't know her to diagnose her with depression and there is no her because this is fake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.

Pretty much.

No. pretty sure no working woman is slaving away making freezer meal casseroles all weekend so stay at home dad doesn't need to cook. You all have lost your mind

Ignorant AF. Working women still do the majority of child-related tasks, including cooking, SAHD not withstanding. I cook every single Sunday for the week through Wednesday, freezing stuff for rainy days. I then cook on Thursdays for the weekend with Sat. night take-out. Taking care of children, especially with remote learning, is exhausting.

And then these same women come on DCUM and whine how it isn't fair they have to work full time and do most of the household tasks and how their lazy DHs don't do anything. Any everyone agrees with them and either says they need to tell DH to do his share or they say it is their own fault for picking a lazy crappy man to marry and reproduce with.

people also say "he's parenting the way he sees fit, if you think they need to eat differently you need to take the task on" just as here.

I would never call my husband lazy or obese on an anonymous forum. That’s serious contempt. When you give your spouse tasks you have to let go and let them do it their way. Otherwise, you have to be part of the solution and work with them. If it it a too tired to cook, the figure out how to take some of the cooking off her plate. Or get a house cleaner to come and take that off her plate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.

Pretty much.

No. pretty sure no working woman is slaving away making freezer meal casseroles all weekend so stay at home dad doesn't need to cook. You all have lost your mind

Ignorant AF. Working women still do the majority of child-related tasks, including cooking, SAHD not withstanding. I cook every single Sunday for the week through Wednesday, freezing stuff for rainy days. I then cook on Thursdays for the weekend with Sat. night take-out. Taking care of children, especially with remote learning, is exhausting.

And then these same women come on DCUM and whine how it isn't fair they have to work full time and do most of the household tasks and how their lazy DHs don't do anything. Any everyone agrees with them and either says they need to tell DH to do his share or they say it is their own fault for picking a lazy crappy man to marry and reproduce with.

And? Those things are true. Either you work with the person you married, or you complain about it on DCUM, or you get divorced. That's what people mean when they say marriage is hard. Both people have to be respectful and figure out how to pull their weight. OP is at the complaining stage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.

Pretty much.

No. pretty sure no working woman is slaving away making freezer meal casseroles all weekend so stay at home dad doesn't need to cook. You all have lost your mind

Ignorant AF. Working women still do the majority of child-related tasks, including cooking, SAHD not withstanding. I cook every single Sunday for the week through Wednesday, freezing stuff for rainy days. I then cook on Thursdays for the weekend with Sat. night take-out. Taking care of children, especially with remote learning, is exhausting.

And then these same women come on DCUM and whine how it isn't fair they have to work full time and do most of the household tasks and how their lazy DHs don't do anything. Any everyone agrees with them and either says they need to tell DH to do his share or they say it is their own fault for picking a lazy crappy man to marry and reproduce with.

Anonymous wrote:

It's also possible that at the end of the day, she is mentally 'done' and rightfully understands that she needs a break from the house and that she needs to feed the kids, so 'going out' addresses the need for a break in routine, food, plus those places are fast and inexpensive. The food from those places also has lots of flavor additives so she's getting a chemical boost for her --depressed, anxious, caught between a rock and a hard place??-- brain as well.

I completely agree with this. It's why I buy fast food for my kids, though not nearly as often.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.

Pretty much.

No. pretty sure no working woman is slaving away making freezer meal casseroles all weekend so stay at home dad doesn't need to cook. You all have lost your mind

You are very wrong. Even when dads SAH, IME they are not nearly as invested in balanced health meals, and if the mom wants to make sure the kids eat well, she has to do the work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.

Pretty much.

No. pretty sure no working woman is slaving away making freezer meal casseroles all weekend so stay at home dad doesn't need to cook. You all have lost your mind

Ignorant AF. Working women still do the majority of child-related tasks, including cooking, SAHD not withstanding. I cook every single Sunday for the week through Wednesday, freezing stuff for rainy days. I then cook on Thursdays for the weekend with Sat. night take-out. Taking care of children, especially with remote learning, is exhausting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.

Pretty much.

No. pretty sure no working woman is slaving away making freezer meal casseroles all weekend so stay at home dad doesn't need to cook. You all have lost your mind

She's retired, pulling in income, and watching the kids all day. She's not doing nothing. I agree that OP should facilitate healthy meals for the kids whatever it takes, while helping his wife figure her shit out. My advice would be the same regardless of the gender of the parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.

Pretty much.

No. pretty sure no working woman is slaving away making freezer meal casseroles all weekend so stay at home dad doesn't need to cook. You all have lost your mind

OP, how did you feed your kids while your wife was on her "lengthy deployment"?

Do that again until she addresses her depression.

Anonymous wrote:If OP were a woman the freezer would be stocked weekly with casseroles for her husband to heat each night. But since he’s a a man he just wants to make demands and not assign work to himself. SMH.

Pretty much.

Anonymous wrote:DW retired from the military and is now staying at home with our two kids -1 and 4yo. I work the night shift at my job so I’m not home for dinner. Instead of cooking at home, she will take the trouble of driving to McDonalds or BK and get fast food instead. If she does cook, it’s Mac and cheese or spaghetti with pasta sauce. No variation and it’s not healthy for our kids. She isn’t healthy either, being in her early 40s and suffering from sleep apnea due to obesity. She says “I don’t know what to cook” so I bought her a cookbook weeks ago but she is visiting the drive-thru as I post this. She grew up on a farm in the Midwest and yet doesn’t like vegetables. She refuses to learn how to use the instantpot and takes the trouble of ordering fries, burgers, and nuggets when she could be cooking real food at home. I’m shaking my head. If you’ve faced this at home, how did you manage?

Sincerely, many people who grow up on farms do not like to eat vegetables.

It is possible that when / where she grew up, that eating at places like McD and BK were 'treats' because it was not 'easy' to go to those places due to the distance to travel to them.

It's also possible that at the end of the day, she is mentally 'done' and rightfully understands that she needs a break from the house and that she needs to feed the kids, so 'going out' addresses the need for a break in routine, food, plus those places are fast and inexpensive. The food from those places also has lots of flavor additives so she's getting a chemical boost for her --depressed, anxious, caught between a rock and a hard place??-- brain as well.

Plus, who *wants* to learn to cook? You? Could you prep freezer meals on the weekends? Could your family have your 'big' meal in the middle of the day and then you know your kids ate something substantial and the dinner meal is less of a worry?

Good luck to you all!

OP what did she eat and how did your kids/family eat when she was working full time?

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Some of you ask what I have for dinner. I fix something for myself at home before going to work. It can be tuna salad or a roast chicken sandwich but my wife won't eat the same foods. We can have half a rotisserie chicken in the fridge but she'll still get nuggets at McDonald's. It defies logic and she's also a very picky eater. For example, she won't eat fish or avocado even though these are healthy food items. We have two fridges in our house and a lot of food gets wasted because she won't cook them. I do the grocery shopping but it doesn't seem to be helping because she's not actually making anything with the groceries I buy.

I think you need to step up your efforts a notch and make full prepared meals for the kids and insist your wife gives them to your kids. Since they are young, you could get some sectioned containers and put in something like cheese, crackers, fruit and cold chicken. Other days make something she can just microwave. Yes, the stay at home parent should cook, but clearly you have taken a lot is steps to make it easy and your wife is refusing. This is not good for the kids. McDonalds once a week is fine. Every night will set up long term health problems.

I think you also need to start documenting this behavior and seeking a lawyer in case making the meals for her does not work. Then when you are ready, use divorce as a threat for your wife to do better for the kids. Also seek mental health help for her.

You also need to stop judging your wife for her picky eating. Lots of people do not eat fish or avocado. Lots of people like junk and do not like to eat healthy food. Stop focusing on her likes and dislikes and focus on what she is feeding your kids.