Because we are anonymous here, I will admit that I would not want my DDs marrying anyone who grew up in a culture where abuse of women and children is common--that certainly includes someone who grew up poor and white (we are white). That stuff is VERY hard to move past. Yes, I realize abuse happens in all parts of society--but it is much more prevalent in certain cultures than others. I would not want them marrying a man who was around it as a child--it's way too engrained.

OP, many cultures are neurotically attached to ''traditions'' from 300 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:I am curious about Jewish culture. Coming from a midwestern town that didn’t have much besides Christians - what types of things besides holidays make Jewish people different than Christians? Thanks in advance.

Holidays are different because religion and beliefs are different. We are a minority and raised to know it. Most Jews are also raised with the knowledge that our ancestors were persecuted for centuries - way before the ultimate horror that was the Holocaust. A lot of Jews which wouldnt call themselves religious won’t eat pork or shellfish, even if they don’t otherwise observe the kosher dietary laws. Most don’t celebrate Christmas or Easter and it’s not just not celebrating them, it’s defending against their encroachment into our culture and observance. It’s a constant awareness, often low key but still there, of being different. Even if the differences are less than they used to be. And most Jews other than the very religious are raised in a liberal environment in which we are always reminded that that immigrant who is vilified today was our grandparents or great grandparents 80 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more to do with culture than racism - hard to have a relationship when you have completely different values and attitudes as someone.

+1. I dated an African-American woman, and we got along great (I am while as you would suspect). I never really felt comfortable with her family gatherings, though. Maybe I am racist, but I just could not relate well. This was many years ago and that did not cause our dating to end, but I wonder if it would have if the relationship continued to develop. She also told me she felt out of place with my family. I don't see her as racist. Different families, different races, different cultures, too. I don't know. Maybe we just try to label things too much.

Race and culture are two separate things. Race in and of itself is not indicative of culture.

What was it about her family gatherings, specifically related to race, that made you feel uncomfortable? Or vice-versa- what was it about your family, specifically related to race, that made her feel uncomfortable?

I married outside my race and culture, and did it because that's who I fell in love with. However, it is hard. I know feel sole responsibility to pass down everything about my race and culture to my kids, instead of sharing the load. And my spouse definitely sticks out at family gatherings, as do I at his gatherings. Our families are both accepting, which as been nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are going to turn me into a Republican, I swear. All common sense has left the building.

Haha, honestly just ignore it. The Democratic Party is a big tent party and we have all sorts of opinions. The comments you see on DCUM and Twitter aren’t reflective of the Democratic electorate, in general. We’re a progressive party, but we’re common sense and practical too.

Hold on. The school board hasn’t come with common sense regarding reading material and FLE. We should be turning children on to the thrill of reading but not via sensationalism, graphic sex and violence. Republicans didn’t have common sense either when they said they wanted to arm teachers.
I’m not affiliated to any political party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be no Equal Opportunity Dating Commission handing out fines for people who aren’t don’t exercise diversity in their personal relationships.

There will be. Give it another decade. Let the rest of the boomer generation die off.

It will be considered a negative moral character trait that will keep you away from a promotion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more to do with culture than racism - hard to have a relationship when you have completely different values and attitudes as someone.

+1. I dated an African-American woman, and we got along great (I am while as you would suspect). I never really felt comfortable with her family gatherings, though. Maybe I am racist, but I just could not relate well. This was many years ago and that did not cause our dating to end, but I wonder if it would have if the relationship continued to develop. She also told me she felt out of place with my family. I don't see her as racist. Different families, different races, different cultures, too. I don't know. Maybe we just try to label things too much.

I think this a pretty common experience.

My first H was white and Jewish. He never felt comfortable with my family although it is very racially mixed and welcoming. It was frustrating that my family had Asian immigrant women marry in and feel comfortable with attending predominantly black events, but he never did. I think the bigger issue for us was religion, rather than race. We just didn’t have any glue unfortunately.

Anonymous wrote:Just being honest, the Indian kids at my DD’s high school only sat with one another at school. They spoke in Hindu to each other. They weren’t allowed to hang around with “other” kids outside of school, let alone date them.

I grew up in this area in the late 90s & graduated from HS in 00. It was that way even back then.

Asians hung out with Asians and dated Asians.
Indians hung out and dated Indians.
Black kids hung out and dated Black kids.
Jewish kids hung out and dated the other Jews.
The segment that was the most broken up was the white kids. Within the white kids you had the smart white kids, ghetto white kids, band geeks, theater nerds, stoners, rich white kids, jocks, etc. But again, those segments didn't interact with each other or date each other.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more to do with culture than racism - hard to have a relationship when you have completely different values and attitudes as someone.

+1. I dated an African-American woman, and we got along great (I am while as you would suspect). I never really felt comfortable with her family gatherings, though. Maybe I am racist, but I just could not relate well. This was many years ago and that did not cause our dating to end, but I wonder if it would have if the relationship continued to develop. She also told me she felt out of place with my family. I don't see her as racist. Different families, different races, different cultures, too. I don't know. Maybe we just try to label things too much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be no Equal Opportunity Dating Commission handing out fines for people who aren’t don’t exercise diversity in their personal relationships.

There will be. Give it another decade. Let the rest of the boomer generation die off.

Yeah okay you believe that shit if you want but I DARE somebody to try and issue some mandate that I gotta date a white girl, a Latina, an Asian, an Indian, a paraplegic, a blind/deaf chick, and at least one crossdresser or transexual in order to qualify to marry someone of my own damn race that I want to be with.

I am curious about Jewish culture. Coming from a midwestern town that didn’t have much besides Christians - what types of things besides holidays make Jewish people different than Christians? Thanks in advance.

Anonymous wrote:There will be no Equal Opportunity Dating Commission handing out fines for people who aren’t don’t exercise diversity in their personal relationships.

There will be. Give it another decade. Let the rest of the boomer generation die off.

I dare any one of y'all go go up to a white couple or an Asian couple or a Black couple or a Latinx couple and call them racist for not being more diverse about who they date.

Y'all full of shit.

Situations where you are considering dating or marrying someone and know nothing about them other than race are not real. Thats not how any of this works. Many people have criteria that is important to them and won’t date people who don’t tick more than a few boxes.