If you want to see how real sorority girls discuss picking girls look no further than this site

https://www.greekrank.com/uni/91/topic/1833392/alpha-phi-recruiting-process-exposed/

I get that some posters are not at competitive or traditional Greek schools but yes this really happens still

Eg
“...found out that my chapter recruits girls from certain high schools. I think that's even more shallow and arbitrary than recruiting girls who are cute. Why does it matter what high school she went to? Because you want to get more girls from that high school? Why? Money? Status? So it's easier to get more girls from that area the next year? How is that any different? It's kind of arbitrary and shallow. And the girl has like zero control over that. It's just based on her parents and where they live!
Well isn't that why some groups recruit for looks? Because maybe they can't get the girls from those high schools so they have to find their own way to compete and they want to get more girls who are cute so they can get mixers and guys will talk about how great their chapter is to their friends! It's a snowball thing.”

“...95% of girls who go through recruitment are self-selected high achievers with tons of leadership, diverse interests, talents, poise, etc. So really the only obvious difference from one house to the next is their "popularity" factor among boys and attractiveness. Every group has great girls. But it's hard to deny that the "top" groups are usually either really hot or come from affluent super well-connected families. At least here at Bama. I think she just didn't like it when she saw the curtain peeled back. But the processes used now are way more discreet...”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I get that...which is why I was so happy that my child ruled out places where there was a heavy Greek presence on campus.

More and more places (at least in the Northeast) are banning them from campus or requiring all events to be open to all on campus.

If you read the scientific literature about Greek life on campuses...they can be really toxic and dangerous.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10485163
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24527968
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29447586

There are hundreds of such articles. This is not a stereotype...it is a problem.

Meh. I'm a libtard and my kids are more liberal than I am. I had two go to UVA, and they thought the guys there were total douchbags. But they both rushed and got into the same respected sorority and loved it. No harm done. To each her own.

What’s a “respected sorority”? Sounds like an oxymoron.
-DP

She means not far or weird. LOL. Because her daughter is one of those mean girls, but she would never admit it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t consider themselves mean girls. They think they are simply looking for girls “like them” that they “click” with and don’t understand how that is toxic as noted above. I think some are probably actually mean with how they select and rank. But most are probs just trying to pick the girls that the cute frats would want to mix with. In effect the boys really dictate who gets in. That’s a whole other issue!!!

Sororities look for grades first and leadership second. Then they look for women who fit with the group and who they would want as a friend. Who the boys want to mix with is way, way down on the list, if it's considered at all.

Like this? https://www.thecut.com/2013/04/greatest-sorority-freak-out-e-mail-ever.html

Oh come on. That's one stupid example of bad behavior.

But you don't care. You just want to paint everyone who participates in these organizations with the same brush and you obviously aren't open to learning from anyone whose experience was positive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t consider themselves mean girls. They think they are simply looking for girls “like them” that they “click” with and don’t understand how that is toxic as noted above. I think some are probably actually mean with how they select and rank. But most are probs just trying to pick the girls that the cute frats would want to mix with. In effect the boys really dictate who gets in. That’s a whole other issue!!!

Sororities look for grades first and leadership second. Then they look for women who fit with the group and who they would want as a friend. Who the boys want to mix with is way, way down on the list, if it's considered at all.

That’s what the handbook says, but everybody knows that’s not what actually happens. Were you in a sorority in the 50s?

No, and I've been an advisor at multiple campuses but he last 10 ywars. This is what happens. Sororities way more concerned about recruiting the next Vera Bradley or Tammty Duckworth, and way less about Paris Hilton.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many schools it’s the way social life is structured. Eg huge groups of girls and boys sit in a section at football and on the weekends have huge events with other Greek organizations. Then they go on spring break and stay in big houses together. They have sports competitions with other houses and do charity events. If you don’t get involved it can be hard to socialize on some campuses. Now if no one did it that’s one thing. But if all the social people do it at your school you feel like you have to join or won’t have a social life.

And this is why I deliberately chose a college with no Greek system at all. Everyone sat with one another at games, socialized with everyone, and went to any and all parties. So much more fun.

Maybe your memories are a little rosy? I went to schools without Greek life and certain clubs operated like just like frats.

There will always be cliques and a social hierarchy. In the absence of Greek letters, clubs take that place. I was in the most prestigious club at my school and while I love the immediate connection I have when I meet someone who was in that club regardless of their age, I realize that we operated like a fraternity, though we were co-ed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t consider themselves mean girls. They think they are simply looking for girls “like them” that they “click” with and don’t understand how that is toxic as noted above. I think some are probably actually mean with how they select and rank. But most are probs just trying to pick the girls that the cute frats would want to mix with. In effect the boys really dictate who gets in. That’s a whole other issue!!!

Sororities look for grades first and leadership second. Then they look for women who fit with the group and who they would want as a friend. Who the boys want to mix with is way, way down on the list, if it's considered at all.

Like this? https://www.thecut.com/2013/04/greatest-sorority-freak-out-e-mail-ever.html

Would you rather be a Katie or a Tina?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0H3vHsMrmo

Sorry that was in response to
Sororities look for grades first and leadership second. Then they look for women who fit with the group and who they would want as a friend. Who the boys want to mix with is way, way down on the list, if it's considered at all.

That sounds nice. I hope there are many chapters like yours. google “Alpha Phi ranks on looks” if you think your sorority is the norm.

Anonymous wrote:There is a lot of implicit bias that many sorority folks overlook- wealthy kids have a big advantage as it is easy to have style and look cute if you have money. Also, your Instagram will look amazing as you can travel to amazing places and take great selfies while wearing stylish clothes. Private schooling also helps kids learn polish so they come across as confident and impressive. Just another way to self select hanging out with your type of crowd

This is so sick and sad. And shallow. I hate the whole Instagram culture.

Anonymous wrote:Just to give you a different frame of reference, at Parents Orientation when my daughter entered a SLAC, they posted the traits they aspire to cultivating in their graduates. One was kindness. They also emphasize inclusivity.

Oh, did I mention that no fraternities or sororities are permitted at that school. Culture matter, and I felt lucky that my child had chosen an environment that displayed such values.

+100

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents against sororities just have their own baggage because they wouldn't have gotten an invite and don't think their kids will.

Plenty of people pledge sororities and end up dropping out because they realize how stupid they are once they’re on the other side. Plenty of people spend 4 years in a sorority and only later realize how stupid they are once they step out of their sheltered bubble.

+1
My best friend from high school was in a sorority in college and has said how embarrassed she is in retrospect. All the “secret traditions” and stupid things they had to memorize - she said it was so fake and ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I get that...which is why I was so happy that my child ruled out places where there was a heavy Greek presence on campus.

More and more places (at least in the Northeast) are banning them from campus or requiring all events to be open to all on campus.

If you read the scientific literature about Greek life on campuses...they can be really toxic and dangerous.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10485163
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24527968
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29447586

There are hundreds of such articles. This is not a stereotype...it is a problem.

Meh. I'm a libtard and my kids are more liberal than I am. I had two go to UVA, and they thought the guys there were total douchbags. But they both rushed and got into the same respected sorority and loved it. No harm done. To each her own.

What’s a “respected sorority”? Sounds like an oxymoron.
-DP

Anonymous wrote:For many schools it’s the way social life is structured. Eg huge groups of girls and boys sit in a section at football and on the weekends have huge events with other Greek organizations. Then they go on spring break and stay in big houses together. They have sports competitions with other houses and do charity events. If you don’t get involved it can be hard to socialize on some campuses. Now if no one did it that’s one thing. But if all the social people do it at your school you feel like you have to join or won’t have a social life.

And this is why I deliberately chose a college with no Greek system at all. Everyone sat with one another at games, socialized with everyone, and went to any and all parties. So much more fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t consider themselves mean girls. They think they are simply looking for girls “like them” that they “click” with and don’t understand how that is toxic as noted above. I think some are probably actually mean with how they select and rank. But most are probs just trying to pick the girls that the cute frats would want to mix with. In effect the boys really dictate who gets in. That’s a whole other issue!!!

Sororities look for grades first and leadership second. Then they look for women who fit with the group and who they would want as a friend. Who the boys want to mix with is way, way down on the list, if it's considered at all.

That’s what the handbook says, but everybody knows that’s not what actually happens. Were you in a sorority in the 50s?