Anonymous
12/05/2019 11:36
Subject: Re:Will you and DH get an inheritance?
My dad inherited $100k. He needed a $10K loan from me once, which he never repaid. My mom inherited nothing, though her parents paid her way through college. I don't expect to inherit anything. I paid my own way through college and grad school (which means I had significant grad school loans). I plan to pay for my kids' undergraduate educations. If I can help with grad school too then I will. If I can help with down payments when the time comes, I will. I doubt I'll have anything to leave them beyond that.
Anonymous
12/05/2019 10:51
Subject: Re:Will you and DH get an inheritance?
I came from nothing. My spouse thought he came from nothing because his family had always lived modestly but in fact his parents had around $4 million. When they were in their 70s they starting doling out money, mostly to their grandkids after concluding that they could use the money more at that point in their lives than later. They basically gave each of their grandkids $100k over five years or so, which helped tremendously with college costs, home down payments, etc., and relieved pressure on us as a result. I thought it was very smart and generous of them.
We retired in our early 50s with about $4 million in assets, and five years later we're now at about $5.5 million. We're also not extravagant, and with luck should have something left over for the kids -- but if not they're all fine. They're no expecting anything and we don't feel any obligation to leave them anything either.
We retired in our early 50s with about $4 million in assets, and five years later we're now at about $5.5 million. We're also not extravagant, and with luck should have something left over for the kids -- but if not they're all fine. They're no expecting anything and we don't feel any obligation to leave them anything either.
Anonymous
12/05/2019 09:23
Subject: Re:Will you and DH get an inheritance?
We stand to inherit a substantial amount of money, $5 million or more, but my parents are so wonderful that I dread the idea of receiving it. They are very generous right now and we make a good living on our own so life is good.
Anonymous
12/05/2019 05:45
Subject: Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hopefully my parents will live long enough so I don't get an inheritance from them. I'm hoping MIL kicks it soon as we're expecting a couple hundred grand.
You're disgusting.
Then you should meet MIL.
May your children, DILs, SILs view you in the same way some day. Your poor MIL.
Oh...OPs MIL is probably a Pain in the a$$. Stop trying to guilt trip them.
I agree. Stop the guilt. She’s being honest. No need to wish things on folks for talking straight.
Anonymous
12/05/2019 04:01
Subject: Re:Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:My father inherited a lot of farmland from his parents In the 1980s that was sold off long ago. When he passed away 13 years ago he had a life insurance policy worth a couple hundred grand whose proceeds went to my Mom. Those were used to pay off some debts but otherwise were saved by my Mom. He also had a generous pension which still pays her about $3k per month.
Mom inherited a house from her parents (where she lives and in fact where I grew up). That will be the only thing my sister and I inherit although the house needs a TON of work. Suspect we could sell it for $400k - perhaps more if we put some work into it first, but really may not be worth it.
DH’s parents fled to Europe from Cuba in the 1990s and inherited nothing. DH won’t receive anything from them either and in fact I suspect we may end up Having to support them.
For those inheriting significant sums, I’m so jealous. Money isnt everything but my god it helps so much! Pay off mortgage, children’s education...
I inherited significant funds. I’m so jealous you have your parents still. Grass is always greener.
Anonymous
12/04/2019 23:12
Subject: Re:Will you and DH get an inheritance?
My father inherited a lot of farmland from his parents In the 1980s that was sold off long ago. When he passed away 13 years ago he had a life insurance policy worth a couple hundred grand whose proceeds went to my Mom. Those were used to pay off some debts but otherwise were saved by my Mom. He also had a generous pension which still pays her about $3k per month.
Mom inherited a house from her parents (where she lives and in fact where I grew up). That will be the only thing my sister and I inherit although the house needs a TON of work. Suspect we could sell it for $400k - perhaps more if we put some work into it first, but really may not be worth it.
DH’s parents fled to Europe from Cuba in the 1990s and inherited nothing. DH won’t receive anything from them either and in fact I suspect we may end up Having to support them.
For those inheriting significant sums, I’m so jealous. Money isnt everything but my god it helps so much! Pay off mortgage, children’s education...
Mom inherited a house from her parents (where she lives and in fact where I grew up). That will be the only thing my sister and I inherit although the house needs a TON of work. Suspect we could sell it for $400k - perhaps more if we put some work into it first, but really may not be worth it.
DH’s parents fled to Europe from Cuba in the 1990s and inherited nothing. DH won’t receive anything from them either and in fact I suspect we may end up Having to support them.
For those inheriting significant sums, I’m so jealous. Money isnt everything but my god it helps so much! Pay off mortgage, children’s education...
Anonymous
12/04/2019 15:34
Subject: Re:Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mom did not receive any inheritance.
My dad and FIL both financially supported their parents in old age.
My MIL received a small inheritance. I would guess around $100k.
I will inherit about $2-300k. My disabled brother will inherit $2 million. I will inherit any remainder from my brother if he dies before I do.
DH will inherit around $5 million. Hopefully most of that will be passed on to our kids, though realistically I know DH and I will spend about $1 million of it. We have not prioritized retirement saving as much as other things because of this expected inheritance. (Yes, yes, I know, you cannot count on inheritances. We are saving, just not as much as we should.)
How'd you set that up? Don't special needs trusts and ABLE accounts have medicaid paybacks? Or are you rich enough to not be worried about SSI and Medicaid eligibility?
I have no idea. This is what my dad told me. He said it is a special needs trust. I don't know what an ABLE account is. Sounds like he is wrong or I misunderstood? I am not sure what you mean. Are you saying that when my brother inherits he will have to pay back the disability and Medicaid benefits he has been receiving for years?
Anonymous
12/04/2019 15:25
Subject: Will you and DH get an inheritance?
My mom is not rich, but she has some assets. I would probably inherit a third of it if she died tomorrow. I obviously don't want her to die tomorrow. The longer she lives, the less I will get, and for that reason I would much rather get very little.
That said, I actually send her money every month, because I want her to be able to retire soon and have her assets last as long as possible. Not because I want to get anything back, as I don't consider my mom an investment, but because I feel its the right thing to do. After all, she sacrificed luxuries she could have had to get me through college debt free and I hope in return I can help her have a safe retirement.
That said, I actually send her money every month, because I want her to be able to retire soon and have her assets last as long as possible. Not because I want to get anything back, as I don't consider my mom an investment, but because I feel its the right thing to do. After all, she sacrificed luxuries she could have had to get me through college debt free and I hope in return I can help her have a safe retirement.
Anonymous
12/04/2019 13:09
Subject: Will you and DH get an inheritance?
I assume I will get $1M plus from my parents. He may get something from his dad. We won't get anything from his mom, who is perpetually broke.
I also am in line to get everything from my spouseless and childless sister, though it is quite likely she won't die before me.
I also am in line to get everything from my spouseless and childless sister, though it is quite likely she won't die before me.
Anonymous
12/03/2019 22:48
Subject: Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DH's Grandma has money set aside. (It won't be what some are hoping for)
MIL has been "sharing" while she's still alive. That's what she calls it. She doesn't want the Government taking most of it.
My mom received a small inheritance when my Grandma passed away.
How rich is your MIL, where she is worried about the estate tax?
I don't know.
To her it isn't about how rich she is. She doesn't want to give the Government a penny more than she has to.
Her choice.
The federal estate tax does not kick in until an estate is over $11.4m (and the first $11.4m is excluded), although some states have estate taxes and those have lower limits. For example in DC the limit is $5.6m and MD is $5m. So it sounds like your MIL must have a very sizable estate if she is worried about estate taxes. If her estate is that large she should be getting some advice as she may be able to structure it more tax effectively.
Hmm.
I'm hazarding a guess that what she's been told isn't accurate. But I don't ask. I keep telling her that she doesn't know how much she might need to live on. That should be her first concern.
Anonymous
12/03/2019 22:26
Subject: Re:Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Also to those talking about this as being terrible to discuss - MANY aging parents openly talk about their will and retirement savings/trusts with their children so they don't have to guess what their wishes were when they pass away. My parents and my spouses parents have discussed their Will with us almost every other year - and based on anticipated spending in retirement have estimated what should be left and how they'd like to see those funds dispersed. It might seem morbid at first, but it's no uncommon when your parents exceed 75yrs old.
This. My dad is 80 and has been taking me and my siblings out to lunch every year on his birthday to discuss this since he got remarried after our mom died. He was in finance and brings a printed out spreadsheet for everyone.
Anonymous
12/03/2019 22:07
Subject: Re:Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:I hope not! We’re doing fine and I hope my parents have a blast in retirement and never worry about money. If there is something left over I know there are charities that they really support. The idea of waiting for an inheritance is sickening.
Yeah they probably will leave all to charity. Don’t worry about inheritance.
Anonymous
12/03/2019 22:05
Subject: Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ugh, the people circling like sharks around their aging parents...
What on earth happened in life to get you to this point? I am legitimately sad for you. I mean that quite sincerely.
Oh ..don’t be sad for us. We will be okay.
Your children will be doing the same thing to you. As long as your cool with that. "Hey, Jacko, is Mom still breathing?" "She is? Darn it!!"
I am definitely cool with that. We are childfree! I will at least pay your kids to take care of us...as I assume you plan is to be a burden on them.
Anonymous
12/03/2019 22:01
Subject: Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:PP of the DH's unequal distribution. Part, although not all, was that while all the siblings were still alive, some of the money went to some grand kids.....for no clear reason other than favoritism. Sure it was my in-laws money to do with what they wanted, but to pay for one grandkids college or house down payment and not others was a quick ticket to resentment and more.
Context? Was this the grandchild that called weekly, took her to her doctors appointments, or just spent time with her?
Anonymous
12/03/2019 21:57
Subject: Will you and DH get an inheritance?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hopefully my parents will live long enough so I don't get an inheritance from them. I'm hoping MIL kicks it soon as we're expecting a couple hundred grand.
You're disgusting.
Then you should meet MIL.
May your children, DILs, SILs view you in the same way some day. Your poor MIL.
Oh...OPs MIL is probably a Pain in the a$$. Stop trying to guilt trip them.