Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

So you have to drive them to school, pick up early and they have appointments every day? This must have been a catastrophic injury, I’m sorry.

PT twice a week + follow up appts. It all adds up. It was not a catastrophic injury but it did need to be surgically repaired and PT was necessary for the injury to heal properly. If I had just started a new job and then announced that I would be needing to take time off 2 or 3 times a week, every week for the next few months I doubt that my boss would be too happy with me. In fact, I can see how I might not make it through the probationary period.

Yep, standard story. Can’t ever start a new job b/c something could pop up at anytime. Better to be always in reserve just in case.

Lol, it's called a choice. I have the choice to go back to work or SAH. At this point it makes better sense for me and my family to continue to SAH. Clearly if we needed a second paycheck to make ends meet I would have been back to work yesterday.

My point is that it will ‘always make sense’ to SAH. And it’s great your DH let’s you. But don’t pretend at this point in your life you don’t have gobs of leisure time.

My dh and I decided together that we wanted an at home parent. That has not changed. When the youngest graduate HS we'll reevaluate figure out whether I go back to work then. This has been a mutual joint decision - he hasn't "let" me SAH anymore than I "let" him go to the office.

I manage to fill my days. Some days are crazy busy with all sorts of demands - I barely sit down. Some days are a lot more relaxing.

Pretty sure DH could veto you SAH, but for you to block him from office you would have to kidnap him. But tell yourself whatever makes you happy

sure I can make myself busy, no one questions that? That is my point: SAHM construct a life that necessitates them SAY well past when kids need them during the bulk of the day. But it's cool with DH so win win.

Oh, good grief. SAHMs don't "construct" their lives anymore than WOHMs "construct" their lives. You make it sound like SAHMs spin some kind of evil web, their dh's get tangled up in it and then can't ever extricate themselves from it. When the reality is, it's often the breadwinner who suggests that their spouse SAH in the first place. It all boils down to a division of responsibilities and how best to handle the needs of their family.

As Op has found out, her family's lifestyle did not necessarily improve when she went back to work. Life actually got a lot more stressful. At this point, it probably makes sense for her to be at home. It's what her entire family is used to now. It's what works best for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

So you have to drive them to school, pick up early and they have appointments every day? This must have been a catastrophic injury, I’m sorry.

PT twice a week + follow up appts. It all adds up. It was not a catastrophic injury but it did need to be surgically repaired and PT was necessary for the injury to heal properly. If I had just started a new job and then announced that I would be needing to take time off 2 or 3 times a week, every week for the next few months I doubt that my boss would be too happy with me. In fact, I can see how I might not make it through the probationary period.

Yep, standard story. Can’t ever start a new job b/c something could pop up at anytime. Better to be always in reserve just in case.

Lol, it's called a choice. I have the choice to go back to work or SAH. At this point it makes better sense for me and my family to continue to SAH. Clearly if we needed a second paycheck to make ends meet I would have been back to work yesterday.

My point is that it will ‘always make sense’ to SAH. And it’s great your DH let’s you. But don’t pretend at this point in your life you don’t have gobs of leisure time.

My dh and I decided together that we wanted an at home parent. That has not changed. When the youngest graduate HS we'll reevaluate figure out whether I go back to work then. This has been a mutual joint decision - he hasn't "let" me SAH anymore than I "let" him go to the office.

I manage to fill my days. Some days are crazy busy with all sorts of demands - I barely sit down. Some days are a lot more relaxing.

Pretty sure DH could veto you SAH, but for you to block him from office you would have to kidnap him. But tell yourself whatever makes you happy

sure I can make myself busy, no one questions that? That is my point: SAHM construct a life that necessitates them SAY well past when kids need them during the bulk of the day. But it's cool with DH so win win.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

So you have to drive them to school, pick up early and they have appointments every day? This must have been a catastrophic injury, I’m sorry.

PT twice a week + follow up appts. It all adds up. It was not a catastrophic injury but it did need to be surgically repaired and PT was necessary for the injury to heal properly. If I had just started a new job and then announced that I would be needing to take time off 2 or 3 times a week, every week for the next few months I doubt that my boss would be too happy with me. In fact, I can see how I might not make it through the probationary period.

Yep, standard story. Can’t ever start a new job b/c something could pop up at anytime. Better to be always in reserve just in case.

Lol, it's called a choice. I have the choice to go back to work or SAH. At this point it makes better sense for me and my family to continue to SAH. Clearly if we needed a second paycheck to make ends meet I would have been back to work yesterday.

My point is that it will ‘always make sense’ to SAH. And it’s great your DH let’s you. But don’t pretend at this point in your life you don’t have gobs of leisure time.

My dh and I decided together that we wanted an at home parent. That has not changed. When the youngest graduate HS we'll reevaluate figure out whether I go back to work then. This has been a mutual joint decision - he hasn't "let" me SAH anymore than I "let" him go to the office.

I manage to fill my days. Some days are crazy busy with all sorts of demands - I barely sit down. Some days are a lot more relaxing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

So you have to drive them to school, pick up early and they have appointments every day? This must have been a catastrophic injury, I’m sorry.

PT twice a week + follow up appts. It all adds up. It was not a catastrophic injury but it did need to be surgically repaired and PT was necessary for the injury to heal properly. If I had just started a new job and then announced that I would be needing to take time off 2 or 3 times a week, every week for the next few months I doubt that my boss would be too happy with me. In fact, I can see how I might not make it through the probationary period.

Yep, standard story. Can’t ever start a new job b/c something could pop up at anytime. Better to be always in reserve just in case.

Lol, it's called a choice. I have the choice to go back to work or SAH. At this point it makes better sense for me and my family to continue to SAH. Clearly if we needed a second paycheck to make ends meet I would have been back to work yesterday.

My point is that it will ‘always make sense’ to SAH. And it’s great your DH let’s you. But don’t pretend at this point in your life you don’t have gobs of leisure time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

So you have to drive them to school, pick up early and they have appointments every day? This must have been a catastrophic injury, I’m sorry.

PT twice a week + follow up appts. It all adds up. It was not a catastrophic injury but it did need to be surgically repaired and PT was necessary for the injury to heal properly. If I had just started a new job and then announced that I would be needing to take time off 2 or 3 times a week, every week for the next few months I doubt that my boss would be too happy with me. In fact, I can see how I might not make it through the probationary period.

Yep, standard story. Can’t ever start a new job b/c something could pop up at anytime. Better to be always in reserve just in case.

Lol, it's called a choice. I have the choice to go back to work or SAH. At this point it makes better sense for me and my family to continue to SAH. Clearly if we needed a second paycheck to make ends meet I would have been back to work yesterday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

So you have to drive them to school, pick up early and they have appointments every day? This must have been a catastrophic injury, I’m sorry.

PT twice a week + follow up appts. It all adds up. It was not a catastrophic injury but it did need to be surgically repaired and PT was necessary for the injury to heal properly. If I had just started a new job and then announced that I would be needing to take time off 2 or 3 times a week, every week for the next few months I doubt that my boss would be too happy with me. In fact, I can see how I might not make it through the probationary period.

Yep, standard story. Can’t ever start a new job b/c something could pop up at anytime. Better to be always in reserve just in case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

So you have to drive them to school, pick up early and they have appointments every day? This must have been a catastrophic injury, I’m sorry.

PT twice a week + follow up appts. It all adds up. It was not a catastrophic injury but it did need to be surgically repaired and PT was necessary for the injury to heal properly. If I had just started a new job and then announced that I would be needing to take time off 2 or 3 times a week, every week for the next few months I doubt that my boss would be too happy with me. In fact, I can see how I might not make it through the probationary period.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

So you have to drive them to school, pick up early and they have appointments every day? This must have been a catastrophic injury, I’m sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

I assure you I manage to stay busy. As soon as I think to myself that it's time to go back to work, something comes up (like the torn tendon - surgery, PT appts, follow up appts, kid in a cast and couldn't drive) that makes me happy that I'm still at home. There are trade offs with everything and right now it makes more sense for me to be at home. I think Op touched on some important considerations....it's better to weigh all the pros and cons before diving right back in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

Here's thing.. yes, it doesn't take 40 hrs/week to do these things, but when you start taking a lot of time off to deal with these things, and you have kind of a stressful job, it all adds up. You both get stressed out. Whose turn is it? I have a really important meeting.. oh, well so do I. I already took out time last week.. well, so did I... on and on.

I'm luckier than most because right now I get to wfh, and DH's job is also flexible. But between DH and I, we do take off a lot of time for various things, our's as well as the kids' things. For those parents who don't have much flexibility, it can be even more stressful.

Yes, a rigid job without sick or vacation leave would be terrible for working parents. OP never mentioned they had a draconian policy like that, just that she can’t take browser breaks? If the job has no leave nor flexibility that makes sense, and again returning to a hobby makes way more sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

Here's thing.. yes, it doesn't take 40 hrs/week to do these things, but when you start taking a lot of time off to deal with these things, and you have kind of a stressful job, it all adds up. You both get stressed out. Whose turn is it? I have a really important meeting.. oh, well so do I. I already took out time last week.. well, so did I... on and on.

I'm luckier than most because right now I get to wfh, and DH's job is also flexible. But between DH and I, we do take off a lot of time for various things, our's as well as the kids' things. For those parents who don't have much flexibility, it can be even more stressful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Doctors appts? Picking up parking passes? This is like a few hours a week activities.

Yes, I’m sure you still have to be their parent, but you still have st least 30 hrs of the week free.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

So if you are doing all the yard work, and apparently have a very messy husband that requires scrubbing floors, I see why working with suck. Definitely quit and just find a way to relax.

I have 3 dogs and two teenagers. The kids help out around the house especially during the summer but once school is in session they need to spend their time on schoolwork and their various activities. They aren't super messy but when you have two extra people eating, sleeping, showering, shaving, hanging out in the house it does create extra work. Of course it does.

Completely understand. I know teenage boys don’t do household chores; I had it easy and my teenage daughters had their own responsibilities for house care b/c I wanted them ready to live on their own and take care of a house and husband. They did well in school and did lots of sports but I still felt it was part of their ‘career’ prep.

3 dogs? That just seems like you want to make your life hard? Were they dumped on you by an old relative?

My teenage boys do help out around the house. They know how to do laundry, how to cook, clean, do yard work, etc. But during the school year there is a lot going on for them and there is a limit to the amount of household chores that we expect from them. I'd rather they spend their time studying for that AP class or participating in a fund raiser or getting their volunteer hours squared away.

As far as our dogs go, we got them each about 4 years apart. We totally adore them and they are beloved members of our family - they do shed and track dirt in. I don't mind cleaning up after them but if I didn't vacuum every day and mop floors as needed our house would get gross in a hurry...

Yeah my daughters didn’t take AP or volunteer so are condemned to UVA rather than Duke, sadly.

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate, I mean people totally understand when you say you have 3 dogs at home at can’t work full time. It’s like 3 toddlers!

Obviously, I quit my job to SAH with my kids. The dogs are just part of our chosen lifestyle. We love them and, yes, it is a nice benefit for me to be able to be at home with our pups, too. If I return to work after my youngest graduates from HS in a couple of years (thanks to Op, I see now that it makes sense for me to wait until then), I will likely only have 2 dogs at that point because our oldest dog probably won't be with us much longer. Makes me sad to type that....

But, if I do go back to work I am looking at hiring a once a week house keeper, yard service (both lawn and shrubs), as well as, a dog walker plus I will need a new work wardrobe. I'm going to need to see what type of job I can get because going back to work for me is not going to be cheap. I suppose I could try to go back PT and continue to do all the household chores, too. I'll just have to see what I can come up with. It may make better sense for me to just remain at home, tbh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?

Even older kids have doctor appts, wisdom teeth removal and other sick days where they need their parent to run them to Urgent Care, pick up antibiotics, etc. One of my kids had surgery for a torn tendon which required sedation. My 16 year old was a dual enrollment student who was taking some of his classes at our local community college, I had to go with him to get paperwork done, help him get a parking pass and assisted with the logistics involved with splitting his time between two schools (HS, college). Could I have taken time off of work to do all of this? Yes. But it was nice to be able to just do what was needed, as it was needed, w/o worrying about get leave approved.

Older kids still need their parents at times, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

I have older kids. I see them in the late afternoon. Please educate me about on exactly what I need to be doing 8-430??? Swing by and hang with a 16 year old at lunch?