I work as a business analyst and work pretty standard 8 hour days. My husband is a software engineer and works 45 hours a week max. Between the two of us we can always cover unexpected illnesses, pickups, appointments, etc. HHI 250k.

Pre-pandemic, DH and I both worked in DC. We staggered our hours. I left for work before my baby was up in the morning and worked 7:30-5pm to get to daycare. My husband took the baby to daycare and worked later. We live in Arlington and work close to Metro stops and the commute is still 30-40 min door to desk. I never understood how my colleagues in Leesburg or Ashburn made it work. Back then my priority was seeing my baby while he was awake.

Preschool is the sweet spot because you have coverage 8am - 6pm. The kid stays up until 8pm and both parents get to see him. Activities are on the weekends.

Elementary - holy heck. We both work at home 4 days a week, and yet I still need carpool or grandparents to help if my kids both have sports practice on the same day. I cannot believe the number of classes and activities that think it’s totally reasonable to have your kid on the other side of Arlington at 4:30 or 5pm sharp. Even a 5pm activity means I have to stop work at 4:30pm.

I assume by Jr high, kids can walk, take Metro/busses and ride their bikes to alleviate some of the 4-7pm crunch.

I too have no idea how people get their kids to activities when both parents work full time and commute. Growing up my mom was a teacher and my dad worked in a factory 7-4. Thinking about families with 3+ kids makes my head spin. I struggle to schedule and coordinate 2 kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh is home by 6pm usually. But he leaves for work at 6:00am, so it’s not like it’s a short day.

This. I am in the office no later than 7, and often earlier. Generally home by 6:30, though not always. My commute is 15 minutes in the morning, and 25-30 in the evening.

OP, what time does your husband get into the office?

Op here - This morning dh left by 6:15 to get into the office by 6:45 and beat rush hour. On slow days he leaves around 7ish.

Either this is some sort of weird flex or you really don't understand that you and your husband are simply living out what you prioritize. money/prestige/etc > family time. It's that simple.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revealed_preference

Anonymous wrote:Manager in big tech. I can wfh whenever I want and can usually block my calendar off starting around 5:30 pm. I log back on after the kids' bedtimes to wrap up and answer emails.

This wasn't by accident though. I make good money and chose my job almost explicitly based on the fact that my boss and boss's boss both have kids and spouses who work. Nobody else gets it, no matter how much they say that they do.

THIS. I work for a company that does have decent work life balance, but until I was promoted, it was all men whose wives didn't work ... and they just don't get it, even if they say they do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wake up at 5 to get to work by 6 and leave at 3. I typically get home by 3:50. It’s a grind, that’s for sure!!

Are you a man or woman? I can’t imagine getting ready for work that quickly.

Believe it or not, some of us women actually shower the night before, get up, brush our teeth, comb our hair, put on a blouse, slacks and shoes and maybe a dab of blush or a quick swipe of mascara if we feel.like it and we're good to go. The whole Women Take Forever To Get Ready bit is wholly unnecessary.

I'm a female also, and pretty high maintenance. I get ready and leave the house in 10-15 min. Wake up, wash my face, brush my teeth, throw on clothes that I've already laid out. I put on my makeup at work (while drinking coffee and checking emails) or do it at home and that's an extra 5 min. I usually blow out my hair and it looks great when I wake up. I also have a long skin routine at night. I shower at night because I don't like to go to bed dirty. I started tretinoin for my skin about a year ago and now my skin is so perfect and even that I really don't need foundation anymore.

DH takes our kids to daycare. We totally have them trained too. They dress themselves (even the 3 year old) and eat breakfast at daycare.

I work as in-house counsel in a non-management role. I work from home 2 days a week and I work in the office 3 days a week. When I'm in the office I go in at 8 and leave by 5. I only live about 10 minutes from work so I have a really short commute.

I have a lot of flexibility which I like since I have two kids, but I am definitely not getting paid what other attorneys are getting who work a lot more hours.

Manager in big tech. I can wfh whenever I want and can usually block my calendar off starting around 5:30 pm. I log back on after the kids' bedtimes to wrap up and answer emails.

This wasn't by accident though. I make good money and chose my job almost explicitly based on the fact that my boss and boss's boss both have kids and spouses who work. Nobody else gets it, no matter how much they say that they do.

Anonymous wrote:VP at a large financial institution. I work from home and can sign off at 5pm 99% of the time.

Yeah stock market closes at 4pm. Finance has a good WL balance when you get up there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We shouldn't praise people for working til 7 pm and it shouldn't be the norm. Our work world needs to change.

Unless they want to. I manage a team of people with a valuable skill set (data science, programmers etc) and frankly many want to work 10:30-7.

The implication of saying someone shouldn’t work until 7pm is that they’re starting at 9am or so. Working from 10:30-7 is an 8.5 hour day; that’s pretty typical. PP is saying that working a 10 hour day shouldn’t be the norm and I agree.

Anonymous wrote:We shouldn't praise people for working til 7 pm and it shouldn't be the norm. Our work world needs to change.

Unless they want to. I manage a team of people with a valuable skill set (data science, programmers etc) and frankly many want to work 10:30-7.

We shouldn't praise people for working til 7 pm and it shouldn't be the norm. Our work world needs to change.

VP at a large financial institution. I work from home and can sign off at 5pm 99% of the time.

Elementary teacher, home by 5 unless I have to make a grocery run or something.
Commute is about 25 minutes.

DH & I both WAH for non-profits.

I work 8-3 & DH works 8-4.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:both of us can walk to work in 15-20 min or bike in 5 min (couch to office time). this also means we don't need cars.
(think georgetown to K street)

I'm shocked at how long some people commute and how much money they spend on transport, when they don't even seem to have time to enjoy their suburban spreads.

we calculated that walking to work allowed us to buy 300-400K 'more house'. so we spent that money to buy a place not far from work.

Hopefully neither of your jobs involve math because no one’s commute cost that doesn’t involve regular flying would come anywhere near $300-$400k.

I assume they did the following math:

1 hr commute each way per person: 4 hours of "commute time" day, 20 hours a week, 50 weeks a year: 1000 hours.

If they both make $600k+ which is possible for BigLaw partners, sales, etc. that works out to $300/hr. which would get you to $300k

The tricky part is that usually those jobs are not hourly, so converting commute time to work time would not boost their salary by $300k. But its what they consider their time "worth" to justify the more expensive house.

Most likely they are just ridiculously rich where $400k doesn't really matter.