Thanks for the update, OP! I'm one of the PPs who suggested a second opinion, and agree with others that you'll be in the very best hands at CHOP. You're absolutely right that being on their radar will be useful if you end up needing their care once the baby is born; you'll also probably feel more comfortable knowing them, too, if you do need to reach out.

I'm sending you all my very best. Distract yourself as best you can, take it one day at a time. I'm pulling for you.

Anonymous wrote:OP checking in again. We decided to go ahead and get in touch with CHOP, since if the baby does have some kind of disorder/difference of sex development that requires treatment, that's where we'd take her after she's born (they have an entire practice dedicated to such disorders). Since we're in touch with them now, we are going to go ahead and get a second opinion ultrasound there - it sounds like the equipment they have there is very advanced so if nothing else we should get a clear picture of what's going anatomically and perhaps some idea of what the cause might be, since all the amnio testing came back negative. I figure this way, at least we'll be on the radar of the right specialists if the baby turns out to need additional care after birth.

This is good, OP. Your baby is in great hands at CHOP and honestly with you as a parent. You really seem to handling this with grace. I am sure it is a difficult, scary position to be in.

One word on stress hormones- my understanding is that this type of stress really doesn’t impact the baby, it has to be extreme stress like in a war zone or a refugee camp to impact the baby’s development. So don’t let the stress of worrying about stress add to your concerns.

CHOP is a wonderful hospital. Good luck!

Thanks for updating us OP! Continued best of luck to you.

You will be in good hands at CHOP OP.

When we were going through a challenging pregnancy, we were referred to them as well. They are the best.

OP checking in again. We decided to go ahead and get in touch with CHOP, since if the baby does have some kind of disorder/difference of sex development that requires treatment, that's where we'd take her after she's born (they have an entire practice dedicated to such disorders). Since we're in touch with them now, we are going to go ahead and get a second opinion ultrasound there - it sounds like the equipment they have there is very advanced so if nothing else we should get a clear picture of what's going anatomically and perhaps some idea of what the cause might be, since all the amnio testing came back negative. I figure this way, at least we'll be on the radar of the right specialists if the baby turns out to need additional care after birth.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I posted a few times on this thread about my own uncertainty with testing and waiting for results and coping poorly (me, not you). Just want to add one more thing about "bathing in stress hormones"... That's basically what I did with my second from 16 to 39 weeks. She is has been an easy baby, who smiles and coos to herself, and is an awesome sleeper. My older one, for whom I was zen as a cucumber during pregnancy, is a demanding, high needs, worry-wart preschooler. So, forget about the stress hormone bathing.

That's wonderful, thank you for telling me that. It helps a lot.

I feel like I keep saying this, but I'm so overwhelmed and grateful for all the kindness I've received on this thread. I've seen many a DCUM thread go off the rails so I know it's not a given. It really shows the best of what online communities can be when someone's in crisis. I won't forget it, and hope I can be a help to someone else the same way in the future.

OP, I posted a few times on this thread about my own uncertainty with testing and waiting for results and coping poorly (me, not you). Just want to add one more thing about "bathing in stress hormones"... That's basically what I did with my second from 16 to 39 weeks. She is has been an easy baby, who smiles and coos to herself, and is an awesome sleeper. My older one, for whom I was zen as a cucumber during pregnancy, is a demanding, high needs, worry-wart preschooler. So, forget about the stress hormone bathing.

I would get another opinion from a different practice. Doctors who work together aren’t quite an independent second opinion. I think you want a fresh POV.

OP, please don't beat yourself up about stress hormones and your baby. You're going through something incredibly difficult and it's ok to experience emotion about it.

Sending you all my best for a healthy baby.

Thanks all. To answer a few questions: 1) This is our second child, our first is a perfectly healthy 2 year old boy. 2) We had a microarray done and that came back totally normal. 3) We haven't had a second opinion exactly, but two different doctors within this same practice have done ultrasounds, each on a different machine, and they agreed with one another. Given that, I'm not sure it'd be any use to seek out another opinion from somewhere else at this point rather than just wait, since even an additional opinion won't resolve things one way or the other. Though I suppose someone else might have ideas on what else to look for? I don't know.

To the PP above who had two weird ultrasound findings and everything turned out okay, thank you for sharing that with me. That's certainly something to hope for, I'd love to be able to come back and update this thread in 3 months and say everything turned out fine. I guess we'll see. At the same time, even if the baby does somehow end up totally normal, I feel terrible that I've likely been bathing her in a bunch of stress hormones or something thanks to all this upheaval.

Once I speak to my doctor and make sure there's nothing else we can rule out, I think I'm going to work on just not thinking about this anymore to the extent possible - I find that I'm dreading the next ultrasound given how upsetting the last one was, so maybe I need coping strategies for that. But in the weeks in between these checks, maybe I just need to redirect my mental energy elsewhere.

We had a weird issue pop up on an u/s TWICE (2 different unrelated ones with our first two kids; I get PTSD thinking about a 20 week scan and was actually surprised when they said everything looked great at the one for our third kid). Both times we got a bunch of tests. One time they told us without an explanation, it was probably still bad news of some kind; one time they told us without an explanation, it was probably nothing. Both time all results came back negative/no explanation. Both times the babies ended up fine. (One time there was actually evidence of the issue at birth, it was just the mildest possible explanation for the finding you could have; basically akin to a mild aesthetic issue.) The other time the u/s was just... wrong. No one ever figured out why. Hold on to hope.

I wish I knew you in real life so I could give you a hug. I’m so sorry that you didn’t get conclusive results. Sending you good vibes and prayers.

Hang in there OP. I’m sure the limbo is incredibly difficult.

Sorry OP. Have you gotten a second opinion on the ultrasound? When I got a weird, indeterminate ultrasound finding, I got a second opinion at CHOP in Philly, and was really glad I did.