Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is depressing. I don't think that for men it is just about attraction to beauty, I think there's more at play. I think it's about status, and for men to have a beautiful girlfriend is a measure of status. In other words, I don't think it's biological, I think this is mostly societal.

When I was a kid in middle school and high school, the girls were absolutely as obsessed with boys' looks as the boys were about girls - if not more so! All girls talked about was who was hot and why. The most popular boys were HOT and had good bodies.

So what changed? Did biology take over when you graduated and got a bit older? No. Society kicks in, and by the time you're 18, the message has been stuffed down your throat that male status comes from money/power and women's status is from beauty and youth. This is mostly societally driven, and most evolutionary biology theories are discredited and have little weight. So men when you say "it's just the way I feel," try to use your brain a little and realize that it goes deeper than that.

Sadly, a lot of you are fathers and seem to think there's nothing wrong with your daughters having no other value than their beauty.

Another sad female effort to tell men what they should want, and to shame them for wanting what they actually want. Have we mentioned that we don't care? You're like a 5' tall guy trying to convince women they should not be attracted to 6' tall men.

It is not social. Men are hard-wired for attraction to youth and beauty. The "social" benefit is the result, not the cause - you gain status because you have acquired the biologically valuable resource.

No man here is saying they tell their daughters their only value is their beauty, so get lost with that stupid straw man.

+1

Physical attraction is not social and is in fact universal. It is not determined by culture. The same men and women who turn heads on Constitution Avenue will turn heads walking through a Yanomamo Indian village or any place else. It's just the way it is.

As a man, I've always been puzzled that women think they get to decide for us who we should be attracted to and date. Nonsense. The only woman who gets a vote is the woman I approach. The rest of you are irrelevant.

Nonsense to the universal-beauty trope. Even your example is full of holes: the Yanomami encourage young women to gain weight to become more marriages. Skinny girls are seen as possibly sick or undernourished. Beauty is absolutely a concept that shifts with culture, time, and place.

Anonymous wrote:NP. The men responding are refreshingly accurate. I’m a woman and I try to make some of their points to other women at times when this type of discussion emerges. Men like what they like. They don’t want women that were slutty. They don’t want someone they aren’t attracted to. They don’t want someone that isn’t good in bed. They don’t want someone complicated or high-maintenance. And what each of those things look like will differ from man to man. Some get it, some don’t. But whether you understand it or not, and even with exceptions to the rule, the truth is what it is. A woman’s reasoning or challenging the difference doesn’t change the fact that most men are truly as simple as a lot of the points being made.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is depressing. I don't think that for men it is just about attraction to beauty, I think there's more at play. I think it's about status, and for men to have a beautiful girlfriend is a measure of status. In other words, I don't think it's biological, I think this is mostly societal.

When I was a kid in middle school and high school, the girls were absolutely as obsessed with boys' looks as the boys were about girls - if not more so! All girls talked about was who was hot and why. The most popular boys were HOT and had good bodies.

So what changed? Did biology take over when you graduated and got a bit older? No. Society kicks in, and by the time you're 18, the message has been stuffed down your throat that male status comes from money/power and women's status is from beauty and youth. This is mostly societally driven, and most evolutionary biology theories are discredited and have little weight. So men when you say "it's just the way I feel," try to use your brain a little and realize that it goes deeper than that.

Sadly, a lot of you are fathers and seem to think there's nothing wrong with your daughters having no other value than their beauty.

Another sad female effort to tell men what they should want, and to shame them for wanting what they actually want. Have we mentioned that we don't care? You're like a 5' tall guy trying to convince women they should not be attracted to 6' tall men.

It is not social. Men are hard-wired for attraction to youth and beauty. The "social" benefit is the result, not the cause - you gain status because you have acquired the biologically valuable resource.

No man here is saying they tell their daughters their only value is their beauty, so get lost with that stupid straw man.

+1

Physical attraction is not social and is in fact universal. It is not determined by culture. The same men and women who turn heads on Constitution Avenue will turn heads walking through a Yanomamo Indian village or any place else. It's just the way it is.

As a man, I've always been puzzled that women think they get to decide for us who we should be attracted to and date. Nonsense. The only woman who gets a vote is the woman I approach. The rest of you are irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is depressing. I don't think that for men it is just about attraction to beauty, I think there's more at play. I think it's about status, and for men to have a beautiful girlfriend is a measure of status. In other words, I don't think it's biological, I think this is mostly societal.

When I was a kid in middle school and high school, the girls were absolutely as obsessed with boys' looks as the boys were about girls - if not more so! All girls talked about was who was hot and why. The most popular boys were HOT and had good bodies.

So what changed? Did biology take over when you graduated and got a bit older? No. Society kicks in, and by the time you're 18, the message has been stuffed down your throat that male status comes from money/power and women's status is from beauty and youth. This is mostly societally driven, and most evolutionary biology theories are discredited and have little weight. So men when you say "it's just the way I feel," try to use your brain a little and realize that it goes deeper than that.

Sadly, a lot of you are fathers and seem to think there's nothing wrong with your daughters having no other value than their beauty.

Another sad female effort to tell men what they should want, and to shame them for wanting what they actually want. Have we mentioned that we don't care? You're like a 5' tall guy trying to convince women they should not be attracted to 6' tall men.

It is not social. Men are hard-wired for attraction to youth and beauty. The "social" benefit is the result, not the cause - you gain status because you have acquired the biologically valuable resource.

No man here is saying they tell their daughters their only value is their beauty, so get lost with that stupid straw man.

Anonymous wrote:Is it like every woman even cares about what men want? That seems to be the major thrust of the replies. [Sure, women spend billions of dollars a year trying to make themselves attractive to men, but they don't care what men want. ]

OK, you guys can dream on. In the end, women hold the cards.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is depressing. I don't think that for men it is just about attraction to beauty, I think there's more at play. I think it's about status, and for men to have a beautiful girlfriend is a measure of status. In other words, I don't think it's biological, I think this is mostly societal.

When I was a kid in middle school and high school, the girls were absolutely as obsessed with boys' looks as the boys were about girls - if not more so! All girls talked about was who was hot and why. The most popular boys were HOT and had good bodies.

So what changed? Did biology take over when you graduated and got a bit older? No. Society kicks in, and by the time you're 18, the message has been stuffed down your throat that male status comes from money/power and women's status is from beauty and youth. This is mostly societally driven, and most evolutionary biology theories are discredited and have little weight. So men when you say "it's just the way I feel," try to use your brain a little and realize that it goes deeper than that.

Sadly, a lot of you are fathers and seem to think there's nothing wrong with your daughters having no other value than their beauty.

I was going to lol at this, but you sound like the kind of guy who goes on shooting rampages if a woman laughs at him.

Anonymous wrote:Speaking honestly here as an attractive woman, a former model. It IS more than looks.

Looks may be the first thing that gets attention, yes, but only up to a point.

I am an attractive woman. I have a nice face and a great figure. But I'm eccentric and often a bitch, being perfectly honest here. I've had zero trouble getting first and sometimes second dates, but a lot of trouble getting a guy to stick around. I'm the woman that men want to sleep with or even cheat on their significant others with, but I'm not the one they want as a long term girlfriend or wife. When I let on that I'm interested in something more than sex, the guy backs away every time.

And I know full well what I need to work on and why this happens, why I attract @rseholes or why nice guys won't stay with me. I'm too self centered. I'm too weirdly into my own things. I talk too much. I'm high-strung and annoying. I'm not a "chill girl" who is easygoing and "cool with whatever."

At the end of the day, I am skinny and attractive, and have no long term relationships to speak of.

The girls next door, who dress casually, wear less makeup, might have a few flaws according to beauty conventions, may carry a few extra pounds - they have boyfriends, fiances, and husbands.

Just the truth.

Sadly, a lot of you are fathers and seem to think there's nothing wrong with your daughters having no other value than their beauty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question I’ve been pondering about lately. I’m finding it very hard to find a nice guy to settle down with. I’ve been hearing different things from different people regarding the things men find attractive in a woman. However, they’re usually from a woman’s perspective. I would like to hear the men’s perspective regarding this, so I can understand them better and have realistic expectations.

I’ll list the qualities/attributes that a woman may possess:

Education levels [NO]
Youth [YES]
Wealth [NO]
Social Status [NO]
Career [NO, NO, NO]
Fertility [YES]
Independence [NO]
Beauty [YES, YES, YES, YES, YES]
Confidence [NO]
Athletic/Physically active [YES - but only matters if she's got youth and beauty]

If men were to select the top 3 attributes from the list that attracts them to a woman, what would they be?

And there's another one that will enrage the DCUM women, but you asked for a male perspective so here it is:

Reasonably low number of previous sexual partners. Meaning, less than ten. No man wants to marry a woman who has been with dozens of other guys.

Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Education levels - Not too important

Youth - Yes, I go for younger women

Wealth - I'd like her to be able to support herself. Actual wealth is a plus, but not what I look for

Social Status - Not all all. If that's important to her, it's a turn off to me.

Career - Not important but again, she should be able to support herself and if she's stuck in a job/career she hates, that could impact the relationship.

Fertility - nope. Not fertile myself and past the baby making days

Independence - This is important. She shouldn't need me or any man

Beauty - Beautiful in my eyes, doesn't have to be the popular version of female beauty.

Confidence - Yes, confidence is sexy. I'm turned off by women with low self-esteem

Athletic/Physically active - Yes. Doesn't have to be a gym rat, but should be able and willing to engage in activities like hiking in the mountains, etc.

Beyond that, her sexual libido should be on par with mine and I like women who can easily orgasm from sex. Sorry, but the ones I've been with who have a hard time getting off are a turn off for me. I know how it sounds, but I've paid my dues. She also has to be sexually adventurous with me and open to some kinky activities.

Sounds like you might need to tune up your technique there, sparky.

Nope, some women just can't, or rarely orgasm from sex. Nothing wrong with my technique and I'll go all out to make it happen, whatever she needs to make that happen. But I much prefer a woman who orgasms easily (or at least without too much difficulty) from sex.

Wow, your moronic opinions really blow my mind. Here's a clue: if your women can't or rarely orgasms from sex you are either doing it wrong or she just isn't that into you.

Also, you confirm my opinion that any survey of the "men of DCUM" is laughable because they don't represent anything, certainly not the average guy.