What keeps me from doing it?

Mostly my family and friends, who would be utterly devastated and blame themselves.

Also, a shred of optimism that there is more fun to be had. I try to keep something I am looking forward to on the books at all time.

Therapy, meds, meditation, self-indulgences, good friends who I can be honest with, like I can call and say I am having the dark thoughts and they are there for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because permanent solutions to temporary problems are illogical

I hate that that phrase is always getting trotted out. My temporary problems are not temporary. I've had them for 40-ish years. They're not going anywhere.

That phrase is so rude. Families of suicide persons get to hear that stupid one constantly. And people think it’s so clever.

It actually helped me a lot when I was suicidal. During one episode it was the deciding factor. I was younger though and the problems were in fact temporary. I suppose it’s unwise to tell it to somebody who is older.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone thinking about it not have family/kids/spouse/pet etc? In other words, no one that would be scarred if you vanished tomorrow?

That is the tunnel vision of depression. When I came out of it, it felt like I had been living life looking through a cardboard toilet paper tube. Once I got my peripheral vision back, I saw that there were many people who would be affected if I had killed myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks

I’m Catholic so I grew up believing it was the only sin that sent you straight to Hell. My DD’s Religious Ed teacher says that’s not the understanding anymore, but I was actually grateful for believing that at my most depressed moments.

+1

I'm no longer a practicing Catholic and don't believe in most of the teachings, but this one sticks with me.

Suicide is murder. Murderers go straight to hell.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone thinking about it not have family/kids/spouse/pet etc? In other words, no one that would be scarred if you vanished tomorrow?

No. Can think of no compelling reason not to other than the people who depend on me.

Def because of my kids. 100000x because of them. I just could never do it because of that but otherwise yes. I don't think some people are meant to live a long life. It's just a matter of how you are born - there's patterns in my life that I'll not break and I would really rather leave life. But for my kids, I would never do it. There's moments of great joy (typically because they are in my life) but otherwise, I do my best to just get through the day sometimes. I'm lonely, I'm tired and I'm not altogether well health wise but I don't know that people can tell because I have my kids and have to put up a front. I wish I could just stop time and take a break for awhile and return as if nothing happened

Does anyone thinking about it not have family/kids/spouse/pet etc? In other words, no one that would be scarred if you vanished tomorrow?

Anonymous wrote:I always thought I would quietly do it. But then my husband killed himself. Our family is shattered and the children are scarred for life.

I am so sorry, Pp. my love and sympathies to you and the children . I hope that you can heal

Anonymous wrote:My heart aches for OP and all of you who're hurting.

My H has afib and it got really, really bad recently, to the point where he couldn't even lie down to sleep. In some really despairing moments he's vented that he'd prefer shooting himself over what he's going through. It was very upsetting to me, especially since we have 2 toddlers. So I made a deal with him about never saying such things out loud. Now I'm wondering if that's perhaps not the best approach. I didn't believe he meant it, but what if...

Definitely not a good approach. When someone says this out loud, they want you to help.

Get him therapy, ASAP. Don’t shut it down. That helps you but not him! Call his cardiologist or primary care provider if you need a referral.

I always thought I would quietly do it. But then my husband killed himself. Our family is shattered and the children are scarred for life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because permanent solutions to temporary problems are illogical

That’s not always true. For example, a convicted sex offender or other really terrible crimes. That’s not going to go away. Id prob do an Epstein, too

I think Epstein had some help. From others. Creeps like that don’t kill themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because permanent solutions to temporary problems are illogical

I hate that that phrase is always getting trotted out. My temporary problems are not temporary. I've had them for 40-ish years. They're not going anywhere.

That phrase is so rude. Families of suicide persons get to hear that stupid one constantly. And people think it’s so clever.

I suffer from chronic pain. Some days its tolerable, some days its god awful and I'm ready to throw in the towel. I've found that the key is to tell myself to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow usually ends up being better and the impulse will have past. Can you manage to get yourself through a lifetime of tomorrows? I think it's doable.

Hope that helps.

Whoever bumped this thread - thank you. I love m’y children too much to leave. Today, that didnt feel like enough, and it was terrifying to feel so vulnerable.

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid I'll traumatize my daughters.

+1 million. Could never ever do it to my kids. I KNOW it would devastate them, and I can't be selfish no matter how much pain I'm in.

I'm also with the PP that said she wishes she could have everything stop for a week. I just don't want to feel pain anymore, but fear of death and refusal to hurt my children stops me.