Anonymous wrote:Wow, I‘ll be 44 when my child goes to college.

Why are you in this thread?

47, DH is 49 we have a 5 year old. I feel like the oldest mom out there by at least 5 yrs. Most of the others parents at DDs school who are her age are early 40’s. We live in DC and go to a public school.

51 in 2 weeks w/ a rising kindergartener!

Wow, I‘ll be 44 when my child goes to college.

55 year old with a 10 & 11 year old. Full of love, understanding, but Exhausting, and have to do schoolwork again after so many years.

"I am at peace with the fact that I may never meet my grandchildren. That could be the case even with a younger parent who might die young of breast cancer. Life is like that...unpredictable. If I do meet my grandchildren, I will be grateful."

My father died when I was 25; his mother died when he was 4. So, as a 60 year old with a 10 year old, I'm not much worried. I love my child, who feels loved and is well cared for, which is what counts the most.

Almost 46 with a 6 year old. It’s exhausting!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I shared this thread with my husband to get his opinions. His father was 40 when husband was born and died when husband was only 32. He misses his dad tremendously and would love it if he were still around. Your kids don’t care if you “traveled, and really got well established in your career” before you decided to have them. They would prefer that you be alive.

The “old parent” movement is just wrong. You people spend thousands and thousands on fertility treatments, drop the kids at daycare, pat yourself on the back for “having it all”, then drop dead when your kids are in their 20s.

Rant over.

Did having older parents cause your husband to marry a judgemental ignorant bitch? How do we prevent that?

Bravo! My mother was 25 and my father was 31 when I was born. My older brother and I have cut off all contact with them because of their toxic behavior. My main reason for doing so was their horrible treatment of my sons who btw, I had when I was 42 and 44 (naturally). My husband is 6 years older.

The PP’s rant about the old people movement (whatever the heck that means) is pathetic. Children want parents who love and support them. My young mother constantly ‘joked’ that she wished we’d never been born and my young father preferred to spend his money on friends and alcohol rather than feeding and clothing his family. So judgemental PP, instead of asking your husband for his opinion as if you are incapable of thinking for yourself, remember that everyone’s experience is different. Don’t spout off a load of BS you know nothing about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I am a 54 YO Mom with a just turned 8 DD. She was our miracle surprise baby after 5 rounds of IVF to get her older brother who is 11. I had her when I was 46–I often think how young I was when her brother was born! I remember the parenting class at VHC in Arlington when he was born—I think I was the youngest mom in attendance at 42!

That doesn't sound too bad but then you do the math and you'll be 64 when she graduates high school? I can't fathom it.

Exactly!

You see all the posts on this forum about "sandwich generation," and you are forcing your child into being in that spot!

So, you're saying no one who replied to the OP should have had kids? What age is the cut off in your world for having a child?

FWIW, older parents tend to be better off financially and can help their children with college and other financial hard knocks that might come their way. And people are living longer regardless of when they have kids -- most people will be sandwiched no matter when they have kids.

Exactly...I am the one who just posted than I am 59 with a 5th grader and can confidently say her college fund is fully funded to attend any out of state college. Same with my older DS. One part of me wishes I had started my family earlier, but it didn't happen that way, so I say better late than never!

Does it concern you that if she waits till the same age to have a child, you will be 98--and most likely will never meet your grandchildren?

NP. For some people things just don't work out for them having a family younger. It seems to me it's always the people with a family that are so aghast about having a baby older. I just wonder if they were in the position of having no family, would they themselves then continue to try or stop. It seems that people think it's so easy to give your chance of having your own family away but they themselves aren't in that position, they haven't had to make that decision because for most of them, fertility came easy. I've never heard a woman say "oh why would you still be trying aren't you too old" when she's gone through IVF, they instinctively know why you are still trying or had your baby later. And the empathy is so much nicer than being unfairly judged by someone who just doesn't get it.

Just turned 50 and have an 11-year old. DH is 51. DD's best friend's mom is 52.

How about a post about having teens when you are in your sixties?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 51 and my youngest is in fifth grade. I don't sweat the small stuff. I'm a 1970s kid! I climbed 60-foot-tall trees to our fort when I was eight. I'm not going to care if my kid is four feet off the ground at age 10. It's all perspective. Other kids tell me I'm fun because I let them have an extra cookie. Live it up, kid!

While I don't have a blanket prohibition against the free range parenting style, I don't find it cool or cute to be proud of that lifestyle. It also reminds me of another parent I know who brags about her child's tree climbing. Cool, I guess. But when that kid was 60 feet up in MY tree on MY property and I asked her to come down, the child was downright belligerent and the mom dismissed me. Uncool. Repeated interactions like this with similar parents/kids make it hard for me not to see proud free range parents as disrespectful of boundaries, but I know there are exceptions.

And I give kids extra cookies, too.

I actually think it is more common among older parents to give kids more freedom simply to the fact that they cannot keep up with them, don't have the same level of energy as a 20 y.o. parent. Weather it is good or bad, this is a different question.

really? I feel like older parents are actually a bit more anxious about everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 51 and my youngest is in fifth grade. I don't sweat the small stuff. I'm a 1970s kid! I climbed 60-foot-tall trees to our fort when I was eight. I'm not going to care if my kid is four feet off the ground at age 10. It's all perspective. Other kids tell me I'm fun because I let them have an extra cookie. Live it up, kid!

While I don't have a blanket prohibition against the free range parenting style, I don't find it cool or cute to be proud of that lifestyle. It also reminds me of another parent I know who brags about her child's tree climbing. Cool, I guess. But when that kid was 60 feet up in MY tree on MY property and I asked her to come down, the child was downright belligerent and the mom dismissed me. Uncool. Repeated interactions like this with similar parents/kids make it hard for me not to see proud free range parents as disrespectful of boundaries, but I know there are exceptions.

And I give kids extra cookies, too.

I actually think it is more common among older parents to give kids more freedom simply to the fact that they cannot keep up with them, don't have the same level of energy as a 20 y.o. parent. Weather it is good or bad, this is a different question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 54 YO Mom with a just turned 8 DD. She was our miracle surprise baby after 5 rounds of IVF to get her older brother who is 11. I had her when I was 46–I often think how young I was when her brother was born! I remember the parenting class at VHC in Arlington when he was born—I think I was the youngest mom in attendance at 42!

That doesn't sound too bad but then you do the math and you'll be 64 when she graduates high school? I can't fathom it.

I'm an older parent who had older parents. My dad was 50 when I was born, my mom was 46. I was a "surprise" addition to their large family. When my dad was 90, he told me: "Thanks for always making me feel young." When you have older parents, you don't think it's weird because it's your life. It's what you know. I loved my parents' perspective. They were never rattled, they were unflappable, they had seen it all. They had a wisdom and a quiet confidence that the younger parents could never have. I feel very lucky to have had older parents.

Thank you for sharing this perspective. It is really nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My BIL is 57 and have two kids 4 and 5 y.o. He is always confused for a grandfather, even though he is super slim and fit, but has a lot of grey hair.

How old is your sister?

She is my sister in law, and she is 10 years younger than him.