Being a lifelong SAHM only works in certain circumstances. I.E. Husband makes a LOT of money, loves his job, has no resentment that you don't work, you have a super strong loving marriage, and is 100% on the same page as you. He needs to want a SAH wife. There are advantages to it for some people in demanding professions.

Given that this type of situation is relatively rare among the general population, it makes sense that women should be raised to get a formal education with the idea that they will most likely have to go to work to support themselves and their families. The choice as to whether they should SAH when children come or not is very individual, based on circumstance, and can't be guaranteed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I lived in a country where the work/life balance was better (shorter workweek, lots of holidays) and childcare (early and after-school) was more affordable. If I lived in one I would have kept working. Happily.

But for our family it makes more sense to be a trailing spouse, freeing DH to go after big promotions.

+ 1

I wish the people who asked these questions and made judgement about this stuff could recognize that we DON'T live in an ideal society and we all have to make do with less than ideal choices.

But why couldn’t your DH be the trailing spouse and you go after the big promotions? Why do women always have to short change themselves?

Because most women would not want to be married to a man without a career.

Yes, vaginas aren’t made for work. We vaginas lay back and get worked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know...for a lot of women it's less about Not Wanting to Work and more about Not Wanting to Miss All That time with Their Kids While They're Small Because it goes by so Fast.

+1

Not really about "not working" for most women.

- a highly educated SAHM

Sure or you could not cut it in the work force...so you took te easy way out.

Yeah- I work full time after being home for years with three kids. I make nearly $300k now. My job is so much wasted time and corporate circle jerking it is SO much easier than being home for those years.

Your theory makes sense I guess- if it means that you choosing work meant that you couldn’t cut it as a mom, and all.

Haha. You must be a sahm!

O, I work. I just find the “ if you chose differently than me it’s because I’m better than you” statements onerous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I lived in a country where the work/life balance was better (shorter workweek, lots of holidays) and childcare (early and after-school) was more affordable. If I lived in one I would have kept working. Happily.

But for our family it makes more sense to be a trailing spouse, freeing DH to go after big promotions.

+ 1

I wish the people who asked these questions and made judgement about this stuff could recognize that we DON'T live in an ideal society and we all have to make do with less than ideal choices.

But why couldn’t your DH be the trailing spouse and you go after the big promotions? Why do women always have to short change themselves?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home mom of school aged kids. I don’t work because I don’t have to and don’t want to. There are other reasons but that’s the most powerful one. I love not having a boss or restraints on my time or annoying paper work or go workers or entitled clients to deal with etc., etc. Most jobs are kind of a drag.

Let’s face it, how many people would continue working if they won the lotto? Not many. Most people would devote their time to hobbies, leisure, socializing, travel, volunteering etc.

I disagree with this theory. Plenty of people Work who may fall under the category of “don’t have to.” do you think Reese Witherspoon really needs the money? No.

You simply may have different financial goals than others who continued working. I feel that even with a high earning spouse and relatively wealthy Parents that I’d be doing myself a disservice not working and contributing to retirement and receiving subsidized healthcare.

The sad truth is that few SAHMs get to spend a lot of time traveling, socializing and leisure. Most are taking care of kids or spending their time on household duties. They are doing unpaid labor for men while their husbands get to go to work, earn money and have [b]indepdence.

Are you really comparing yourself to Reece Witherspoon?

Clearly being a SAHM has made your brain mush and you can’t read. My point was that there are plenty of women who don’t have to work who work. For example, Reese Witherspoon.

How much time do you really think Reese Witherspoon spends working?

This is so true. Thanks for writing what I’ve always thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know...for a lot of women it's less about Not Wanting to Work and more about Not Wanting to Miss All That time with Their Kids While They're Small Because it goes by so Fast.

+1

Not really about "not working" for most women.

- a highly educated SAHM

Sure or you could not cut it in the work force...so you took te easy way out.

Yeah- I work full time after being home for years with three kids. I make nearly $300k now. My job is so much wasted time and corporate circle jerking it is SO much easier than being home for those years.

Your theory makes sense I guess- if it means that you choosing work meant that you couldn’t cut it as a mom, and all.

Haha. You must be a sahm!

I was a sahm for a few years and am soooo glad to be back at work. It was good when the kids were under 1st grade but not worth it after that. At least for me.

I don't want to work, and I don't want my DH to work either. But we both have to.

I never intended to work and didn't. My sisters all worked and they look like old hags. I'm a lot older than they are and look way better. Resentful doesn't come close to how they feel about life but they married men, multiple men, that not only expected them to work but expected them to be wife mother ho and paycheck.

That feminine movement was a bowel movement sucked up by stupid lib chicks. IT WAS ALL A LIE !

I never follow anyone. Brainwashed dummies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know...for a lot of women it's less about Not Wanting to Work and more about Not Wanting to Miss All That time with Their Kids While They're Small Because it goes by so Fast.

+1

Not really about "not working" for most women.

- a highly educated SAHM

Sure or you could not cut it in the work force...so you took te easy way out.

Yeah- I work full time after being home for years with three kids. I make nearly $300k now. My job is so much wasted time and corporate circle jerking it is SO much easier than being home for those years.

Your theory makes sense I guess- if it means that you choosing work meant that you couldn’t cut it as a mom, and all.

Anonymous wrote:DH is a biglaw partner and I’m a biglaw associate. I don’t have to work. I love it but also I want my daughter to see being a mom and a professional is possible and even enjoyable.

Plus we are rich. That’s nice.

+1 I partly do it for my daughters too, to show them how to do it successfully.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know...for a lot of women it's less about Not Wanting to Work and more about Not Wanting to Miss All That time with Their Kids While They're Small Because it goes by so Fast.

+1

Not really about "not working" for most women.

- a highly educated SAHM

Sure or you could not cut it in the work force...so you took te easy way out.

DH is a biglaw partner and I’m a biglaw associate. I don’t have to work. I love it but also I want my daughter to see being a mom and a professional is possible and even enjoyable.

Plus we are rich. That’s nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:feminism sold us a bill of lies.

women had a great deal before all this liberation crap. feminism screwed it up.

now we're realizing we gave up a cushy existence to be office drones and push paper.

this is why we are jealous of women who get to SAHM.This is why we have the mommy wars.

We should be coming together to take down the patriarchy that created this! Not fighting amongst each other!

Well that means I would have to get a job and compete with everyone else...no thanks. Let the men slave away till 50 and get fired(ie lay-offs).