Anonymous wrote:OP back. We talked. I think we're done.

He called and chatted about his day for about 10 minutes, describes how busy he's going to be these next few weeks. I'm thinking "ok dude, just lower the boom so we can all move on." He doesn't. Keeps chatting about this or that, asking about DD's day, etc. Finally I say (almost out of sheer exasperation) "Did you just call to catch up? Or was there something specific you wanted to talk about?" He says, "like what?". Lol.

So I just took the bull by the horns: "We had a somewhat confusing interaction this weekend. Seems it's a little unclear about where we stand." He says, "sure ok, we can talk about that". And basically reiterated how important friendship is to him, how he needs to build that first, etc. I said I agree! Friendship gets totally overlooked as a priority in a relationship and if you get hot & heavy too fast, it's hard to solve problems later. I said I'm glad you feel that way. But, I said, I'm not a game player, never have been. And I am interested in a romantic partner at some point, and it's not clear to me that you are. You're really flirty with me over text and in person, but when it comes to physicality it seems you have two feet on the break. He says "what have I suggested I want via my texts?". I said, "that you want to be more than my friend." He had...no real response for that. I said "look, I like you. I think I've made that clear. Sounds like you have a busy couple of weeks. Think it over and maybe we'll connect in the future; best of luck."

So yeah, I think we're done here. In my experience, it's just not this complicated early on, and I don't need to talk someone into kissing me for Pete's sake. I'm not asking the guy for sex or a ring or to meet his mother....but if all he wants is a dinner companion...well, I'd like more. Like a kiss, some passion, recognition of mutual desire. I mean come on, we're 40-something and 50-something. We're not dead yet. I think that's reasonable.

tldr: Pretty sure he just wants a friend. That's OK. I need more. I texted gym guy. He's going to come inspect my plumbing this week.

Anonymous wrote:OP back. We talked. I think we're done.

He called and chatted about his day for about 10 minutes, describes how busy he's going to be these next few weeks. I'm thinking "ok dude, just lower the boom so we can all move on." He doesn't. Keeps chatting about this or that, asking about DD's day, etc. Finally I say (almost out of sheer exasperation) "Did you just call to catch up? Or was there something specific you wanted to talk about?" He says, "like what?". Lol.

So I just took the bull by the horns: "We had a somewhat confusing interaction this weekend. Seems it's a little unclear about where we stand." He says, "sure ok, we can talk about that". And basically reiterated how important friendship is to him, how he needs to build that first, etc. I said I agree! Friendship gets totally overlooked as a priority in a relationship and if you get hot & heavy too fast, it's hard to solve problems later. I said I'm glad you feel that way. But, I said, I'm not a game player, never have been. And I am interested in a romantic partner at some point, and it's not clear to me that you are. You're really flirty with me over text and in person, but when it comes to physicality it seems you have two feet on the break. He says "what have I suggested I want via my texts?". I said, "that you want to be more than my friend." He had...no real response for that. I said "look, I like you. I think I've made that clear. Sounds like you have a busy couple of weeks. Think it over and maybe we'll connect in the future; best of luck."

So yeah, I think we're done here. In my experience, it's just not this complicated early on, and I don't need to talk someone into kissing me for Pete's sake. I'm not asking the guy for sex or a ring or to meet his mother....but if all he wants is a dinner companion...well, I'd like more. Like a kiss, some passion, recognition of mutual desire. I mean come on, we're 40-something and 50-something. We're not dead yet. I think that's reasonable.

tldr: Pretty sure he just wants a friend. That's OK. I need more. I texted gym guy. He's going to come inspect my plumbing this week.

Anonymous wrote:OP back. We talked. I think we're done.

He called and chatted about his day for about 10 minutes, describes how busy he's going to be these next few weeks. I'm thinking "ok dude, just lower the boom so we can all move on." He doesn't. Keeps chatting about this or that, asking about DD's day, etc. Finally I say (almost out of sheer exasperation) "Did you just call to catch up? Or was there something specific you wanted to talk about?" He says, "like what?". Lol.

So I just took the bull by the horns: "We had a somewhat confusing interaction this weekend. Seems it's a little unclear about where we stand." He says, "sure ok, we can talk about that". And basically reiterated how important friendship is to him, how he needs to build that first, etc. I said I agree! Friendship gets totally overlooked as a priority in a relationship and if you get hot & heavy too fast, it's hard to solve problems later. I said I'm glad you feel that way. But, I said, I'm not a game player, never have been. And I am interested in a romantic partner at some point, and it's not clear to me that you are. You're really flirty with me over text and in person, but when it comes to physicality it seems you have two feet on the break. He says "what have I suggested I want via my texts?". I said, "that you want to be more than my friend." He had...no real response for that. I said "look, I like you. I think I've made that clear. Sounds like you have a busy couple of weeks. Think it over and maybe we'll connect in the future; best of luck."

So yeah, I think we're done here. In my experience, it's just not this complicated early on, and I don't need to talk someone into kissing me for Pete's sake. I'm not asking the guy for sex or a ring or to meet his mother....but if all he wants is a dinner companion...well, I'd like more. Like a kiss, some passion, recognition of mutual desire. I mean come on, we're 40-something and 50-something. We're not dead yet. I think that's reasonable.

tldr: Pretty sure he just wants a friend. That's OK. I need more. I texted gym guy. He's going to come inspect my plumbing this week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude and writing style of the original OP and the 19:21 OP is so different that it's either a troll from beginning to end or a hijack.

OP back; neither a man, nor a troll, nor a hijacker. What an odd set of assertions. Anyway we’ll see how gym guy does; still bummed that military guy couldn’t keep us moving forward.

so this is where you lost me. In your first post, you say you're pretty traditional and that you don't rush into having sex with someone. Now. you text the gym guy who just flirted with you and basically are DTF. Quite a contradiction - nothing wrong with that at all. But things just don't add up here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude and writing style of the original OP and the 19:21 OP is so different that it's either a troll from beginning to end or a hijack.

OP back; neither a man, nor a troll, nor a hijacker. What an odd set of assertions. Anyway we’ll see how gym guy does; still bummed that military guy couldn’t keep us moving forward.

Anonymous wrote:The attitude and writing style of the original OP and the 19:21 OP is so different that it's either a troll from beginning to end or a hijack.

Anonymous wrote:The attitude and writing style of the original OP and the 19:21 OP is so different that it's either a troll from beginning to end or a hijack.

Anonymous wrote:You do all realize this is entirely made up, right? The whole thread reads like bad Sex and the City fan fiction.

S/he also started the happy cat call thread. Maybe that was your Mr. Big in that pretty black SUV.