don't call men "young guys"

Time for an update, OP! How were the holidays?

Go with the flow as far as it goes.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a red flag he’s already introduced you to his kids and had you spend that much time with them.

Single Mom here whose ex is unstable. The first thing he does is use our child to hook women. So yeah, I would run. That's not what good parents do.

Another update, please?
NP here following along.

Anonymous wrote:

OP - This sounds like a reasonable and thoughtful approach to pursuing a relationship with a great fellow. You needed some moral support to get started. Now It is time to get to know him privately. Imagine how he might feel if your relationship was out in the public domain, especially out of concern for his children. Also be very careful if you have a FB account as he may as the relationship grows not want images to the children.

OP here - I'm not a social media person at all and I sometimes feel like a dinosaur but I do like my privacy. I also don't live in the D.C. Area.

This is such a lovely thread. I lost a parent when I was young and it makes me happy to know OP is excited to take on this new family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is like my dream scenario. A proven husband and father, no guesswork as you will see/know his record. No mommy drama from ex wife. I also love kids.

And three kids with no pregnancies! That’s my dream!

Especially given OP is 38! But creating the bond will be the whole thing. But no ex wife and custody issues would be nice.

Anonymous wrote:This is like my dream scenario. A proven husband and father, no guesswork as you will see/know his record. No mommy drama from ex wife. I also love kids.

And three kids with no pregnancies! That’s my dream!

OP - This sounds like a reasonable and thoughtful approach to pursuing a relationship with a great fellow. You needed some moral support to get started. Now It is time to get to know him privately. Imagine how he might feel if your relationship was out in the public domain, especially out of concern for his children. Also be very careful if you have a FB account as he may as the relationship grows not want images to the children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we had a wonderful evening at my place on Saturday though it ended too early for me! He said that his oldest is getting curious about Dad having two dates but he said she likes me which helps. I think the advice people have provided has been very helpful as while I'm crazy about him we need to move slowly. I did tell him that I was very interested in this being an exclusive relationship but I didn't say anything about it being long term. I think the hard part for me will be knowing that we will only be able to be together maybe once a week or twice if I'm lucky.

How old is the guy, OP?

42

That's not bad at all! Congrats!

With all of the threads about relationships falling apart it is nice to read about one that might be forming. Good luck OP.

After a life of being single I don't know how I'd deal with the process of even thinking about being involved with a guy with three young children. She likes the guy and the sex was good so that's a good first step! I suppose you don't get involved with the children unless both people are sure its a LTR but even then I'm sure its a high wire act. Do you have to reassess your career goals, do you want to have a baby, does he want to have another baby.....It does sound as though OP is pretty thoughtful about this but my mind would be spinning with uncertainty. But if it works out it would be a blessing for everyone which would be wonderful.

omg I am just catching up on this thread and I am so excited for the OP! I didn't see if she said the kids' ages? elementary school? So fun. Like most things in life, not with out complications but I think insta-family sounds wonderful. How long ago did his wife pass?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we had a wonderful evening at my place on Saturday though it ended too early for me! He said that his oldest is getting curious about Dad having two dates but he said she likes me which helps. I think the advice people have provided has been very helpful as while I'm crazy about him we need to move slowly. I did tell him that I was very interested in this being an exclusive relationship but I didn't say anything about it being long term. I think the hard part for me will be knowing that we will only be able to be together maybe once a week or twice if I'm lucky.

Did you get lucky???? Thanks for the update!

Yes I did! He said it had been a long time so I joked that he should just relax and let me take charge which I did. It was too bad he couldn't stay longer because it was happy to continue.

Woot woot! I'm so glad for you, OP. Hope this all turns out the way you hope it will!