Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was really cheap. Would wash out plastic sandwich bags, cut paper towels in half, reuse aluminum foil, cut paper in half to reuse if there was nothing written in the bottom half, etc. She had hoarding tendencies and our house was full of stuff because she couldn’t throw anything out. She kept my clothes from 4th grade, etc.

She dropped dead in her 70s and it was awful cleaning up the mess. She saved a lot of money but did not get to enjoy any of it, too busy washing out plastic bags...

This was my thought. These stories are all so sad. So many people missing out on life while trying to game the system to save a buck. What’s the point?

If you had ever been poor you would get it.

PP. My mother wasn't just poor but lived through a war as a small child, was a refugee. Lost her father. Her hoarding was from trauma and her "cheapskate" actions reached the level of mental illness. I have other relatives and know others who lived through the same thing and they didn't do this.

Growing up she had piles of used washed out plastic bags, aluminum foil, etc. that got bigger as she grew older and all the kids left. Just a mess. Crazy mess. By the end, my siblings and I couldn't even go into the house we grew up in because it was full of garbage.

People react differently to trauma. My mom hoards. One brother became an alcoholic. A sister had four divorced. The youngest brother is so morbidly obese he had seven strokes before age 50.

My mother has two sisters and they are nice normal people with clean houses... not crazy/drug addicted/married only once/ slim/etc so some people go through the same trauma, but don’t end up so completely damaged.

Way to victim blame your mom for being traumatized by WAR and losing a parent and being a refugee. Her sisters weren’t affected, why couldn’t she toughen up?

Nothing to do with victim blaming. War happened more than 70+ yrs ago. At some point you cannot blame everything on what happened to you in your childhood and take responsibility for your own actions: Even my mother did not blame her actions on living through a war and childhood trauma - I see her hoarding as a result of it not her.

My country suffered through a war and still emerged a first world country from a third world one within a generation so not everyone was so traumatize that they spent their time fixated on useless economy.

My mother was cheap and wasted her time cleaning out used plastic bags, etc. I am very sad that she never got to enjoy life. That's all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but my husband. If we go out to eat and I get an “expensive” entree- eg anything over $10- he’ll complain that he can’t afford it and will order just a side dish to offset the cost. I’m not getting anything crazy, usually it’s around $12 and one of the cheapest things on the menu.

And heaven help me if I order a soda. He’ll spend the entire ride back home talking about how I could have just gotten a soda at the store for half the price.

He sounds fun.

yeah that sounds pretty abusive...

One year there were several severe snow/ice storms and we ran out of sidewalk salt. All the stores we checked were out of it as well. The salt trucks in our neighborhood had been very sloppy and left multiple small piles of salt in the middle of our street. I went out and scraped them into a bag so we could re-use them on our walkways and driveway. I told myself I was being frugal and environmentally aware, but perhaps if I had looked harder I could have found a bag of icey melt somewhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but my husband. If we go out to eat and I get an “expensive” entree- eg anything over $10- he’ll complain that he can’t afford it and will order just a side dish to offset the cost. I’m not getting anything crazy, usually it’s around $12 and one of the cheapest things on the menu.

And heaven help me if I order a soda. He’ll spend the entire ride back home talking about how I could have just gotten a soda at the store for half the price.

Wow. Was he always like that, even before you got married? Sounds like a terrible way to live.

Seriously. How did you date him? Did he keep his mouth shut? Bc IDK how I'd continue dating someone who griped that I got the $12 entrée instead of the $9 sandwich and had the audacity to order an iced tea with it. I imagine dessert is just not allowed in your fam -- bc he must freak out over a $6 slice of cake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but my husband. If we go out to eat and I get an “expensive” entree- eg anything over $10- he’ll complain that he can’t afford it and will order just a side dish to offset the cost. I’m not getting anything crazy, usually it’s around $12 and one of the cheapest things on the menu.

And heaven help me if I order a soda. He’ll spend the entire ride back home talking about how I could have just gotten a soda at the store for half the price.

Wow. Was he always like that, even before you got married? Sounds like a terrible way to live.

I agree! He sounds miserable!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single, NW over $1 mil, and still clean my own house. I’m really reconsidering this though.

I knew a women who not only cleaned her three million dollar mansion but did three neighbors houses for extra cash. She was not happy enough saving she wanted to make money

PP here -- wow ok I'm not THAT bad. And I hate cleaning so I don't get it when people say it's cathartic for them to be scrubbing. I just find myself thinking recently that I'm a workaholic type, hit 7 figures by myself in my 30s and I have nothing that really "shows" my success. I live in a 1 bedroom -- maybe I should splurge on someone else cleaning that 1 bedroom!?

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but my husband. If we go out to eat and I get an “expensive” entree- eg anything over $10- he’ll complain that he can’t afford it and will order just a side dish to offset the cost. I’m not getting anything crazy, usually it’s around $12 and one of the cheapest things on the menu.

And heaven help me if I order a soda. He’ll spend the entire ride back home talking about how I could have just gotten a soda at the store for half the price.

Wow. Was he always like that, even before you got married? Sounds like a terrible way to live.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single, NW over $1 mil, and still clean my own house. I’m really reconsidering this though.

I knew a women who not only cleaned her three million dollar mansion but did three neighbors houses for extra cash. She was not happy enough saving she wanted to make money

Well, in all honesty, if she had nothing else to do all day, cleaning her mansion and the neighbors' would help her pass time, get exercise and make extra cash. Some people, believe it not, like to clean.. so it's not necessarily out of being cheap.

Anonymous wrote:Single, NW over $1 mil, and still clean my own house. I’m really reconsidering this though.

I knew a women who not only cleaned her three million dollar mansion but did three neighbors houses for extra cash. She was not happy enough saving she wanted to make money

Single, NW over $1 mil, and still clean my own house. I’m really reconsidering this though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My office provides free tampons and pads. I haven’t bought either in 3 years.

This is the perk I'm going to miss most about the biglaw to government switch. Last time I purchased feminine hygiene products was 2014.

This was one of the small joys for me moving from the federal government to private sector. I couldn't believe they just gave this stuff away for free! And the women's rooms had cans of hairspray, lotion, etc. Sweet, sweet indulgence!

Wow is this normal or was my biglaw firm cheap? No pads/tampons provided - there was a vending machine in the bathroom to buy. Lotions and hair products - lol.

When I was a student I once went out with my boyfriend and another couple he knew to a dinner at a restaurant. I was very careful to only order the cheapest things on the menu so I could keep my share of the bill low. This other couple ordered just about everything, and at the end said we need to split the bill, just pay half of the total. I had a part time job that gave me a small income and had to use that to subsidize the cost of their meal. I still do not know why they did that.
Perhaps they thought their friend was too good to date a student or did not like me

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but my husband. If we go out to eat and I get an “expensive” entree- eg anything over $10- he’ll complain that he can’t afford it and will order just a side dish to offset the cost. I’m not getting anything crazy, usually it’s around $12 and one of the cheapest things on the menu.

And heaven help me if I order a soda. He’ll spend the entire ride back home talking about how I could have just gotten a soda at the store for half the price.

He sounds fun.

Not me, but my husband. If we go out to eat and I get an “expensive” entree- eg anything over $10- he’ll complain that he can’t afford it and will order just a side dish to offset the cost. I’m not getting anything crazy, usually it’s around $12 and one of the cheapest things on the menu.

And heaven help me if I order a soda. He’ll spend the entire ride back home talking about how I could have just gotten a soda at the store for half the price.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was really cheap. Would wash out plastic sandwich bags, cut paper towels in half, reuse aluminum foil, cut paper in half to reuse if there was nothing written in the bottom half, etc. She had hoarding tendencies and our house was full of stuff because she couldn’t throw anything out. She kept my clothes from 4th grade, etc.

She dropped dead in her 70s and it was awful cleaning up the mess. She saved a lot of money but did not get to enjoy any of it, too busy washing out plastic bags...

This was my thought. These stories are all so sad. So many people missing out on life while trying to game the system to save a buck. What’s the point?

If you had ever been poor you would get it.

PP. My mother wasn't just poor but lived through a war as a small child, was a refugee. Lost her father. Her hoarding was from trauma and her "cheapskate" actions reached the level of mental illness. I have other relatives and know others who lived through the same thing and they didn't do this.

Growing up she had piles of used washed out plastic bags, aluminum foil, etc. that got bigger as she grew older and all the kids left. Just a mess. Crazy mess. By the end, my siblings and I couldn't even go into the house we grew up in because it was full of garbage.

People react differently to trauma. My mom hoards. One brother became an alcoholic. A sister had four divorced. The youngest brother is so morbidly obese he had seven strokes before age 50.

My mother has two sisters and they are nice normal people with clean houses... not crazy/drug addicted/married only once/ slim/etc so some people go through the same trauma, but don’t end up so completely damaged.

Way to victim blame your mom for being traumatized by WAR and losing a parent and being a refugee. Her sisters weren’t affected, why couldn’t she toughen up?