Anonymous wrote:So random that this thread came back to life. I'm the OP.

If anyone wants an update, here it is.

My best guy friend (still my best guy friend) told his new gf that we were still going on the trip and that she wasn't invited this time around. I offered to have her buy me out of my part of the trip, but he didn't feel right asking me to do that. She wasn't thrilled about the whole thing, but trusted him (as she should), and eventually got over it. We had an amazing time on the trip.

The gf ended up moving to DC and the three of us hung out a ton and became really great friends. We even talked about taking Europe trips together. They eventually got engaged but had wedding plans ruined with COVID. Unfortunately they decided to end things just a few months ago after three years together and she moved back to her hometown, which is a bummer because we all had a great time together. They are both moving on well.

I recently met a great guy who I really care about and him and the guy friend get a long great. Guy friend and I took another trip together shortly after I met new guy that was planned well before I met him. New guy didn't bat an eyelash at it because he's an emotionally healthy dude who trusts me. The three of us hang out a lot. Everyone is happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP is so lucky to have 2 sexless threesomes.

OP here. I do indeed feel quite lucky to have several good, close friendships in my life. I also feel very fortunate to be in a healthy and trusting relationship that is far from sexless. But keep projecting...

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP is so lucky to have 2 sexless threesomes.

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford to, I’d give him the option of not going and try to find a different friend to go with.

Anonymous wrote:Have gf take your place on the trip and your friend can reimburse you for any expense like change of tickets to her, etc. both your friend and his new gf sound lame.

Anonymous wrote:If my bf told me I wasn't welcome on a trip with someone who is just a female friend and it's just my bf and his female friend and it's to a romantic place like you mentioned all kind of red flags are waving everywhere. If a friend IRL came and told me this was her scenario I would tell her to quit being so niave and open her eyes and see what's going on and to run fast because clearly there is something deeper there. Clearly platonic opposite sex friends don't take solo trips to a romantic spot and then tell their SO they can't go WTAF

Anonymous wrote:I need some advice on how to handle a situation with my best guy friend. Guy friend and I work together and have become really good friends over the last 4 years. We've both been single (him more than I) a decent amount of that time, but our friendship has never gotten even remotely close to being any thing other than friendship. I love him, but the thought is completely revolting to me.

Guy friend and I have traveled quite a bit because, well, we both wanted to and needed travel buddies. We sometimes go with another friend of ours. In June, we decided to plan an international trip in September. We both have been very excited. However, guy friend did not tell me until last week that he met a girl and started a long-distance relationship with her sometime in late spring. From what I understand it was mostly a texting thing for a few months, but they now have seen each other in person about three times and he is head over heels.

Yesterday, guy friend says that new GF isn't super comfortable with our trip plans. He then asks me if its OK if he invites her to come with us.

I don't know what to do. I fully understand the awkwardness of the timing of how this has all worked out, but I had no idea about this girl till last week. I've never met her. I've paid a lot of money for a trip and I'm not sure I want to go with someone that I will maybe meet once before spending a week with. I don't want to be sudden third wheel on a couple's trip. I'm upset he's put me in this position, I was so excited for this trip. I feel like I'm going to be the a-hole if I say no, even though he told me it was totally fine for me to say no. But I feel like this trip is not going to be at all what I planned if she comes.

Does anyone have any good advice on how to handle this one? I've asked him to not say anything to her yet because I need time to think about it and am feeling a bit uncomfortable about the situation he's put me in, and I think that made him upset.