Anonymous wrote:I'm team OP.

I generally discourage my kids from being friends with those that are very overweight or downright obese.

I can't stand being around anyone who is that food-centric. They suck the fun out of things. My SIL is obese and only ever wants to eat at restaurants where you "get your money's worth" instead of nicer places. We went to a nice prix fixe meal for my MIL's bday in May and all SIL did was complain about portion sizes. "TWO SHRIMP? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" It was a 8 course meal and everyone else got full except for her, who kept complaining and then went to McDonald's on the way back to MIL's house for cake.

I also grew up with an overweight sister who refused to wear a bathing suit in public, so until I was old enough to go to the pool on my own or I found a friend's parent to take me, I didn't get to go swimming because my mom didn't think it was right to make her sit on the side or stay home alone. No beach trips either. No water park trips. When we went to a theme park, any ride that she may not have fit on, we didn't even attempt to ride for fear that she might be singled out and made to get off the ride in front of everyone. Instead of trying to help her lose weight, everyone just catered to her. Even she admitted this when she was older and finally lost the weight as an adult. She said she wished our parents had been more strict with her instead of bending over backward to accommodate her.

Nothing else you ever say will have any validity of any kind.

Also: You are a jerk.

Is "home training" a commonly used phrase? It has shown up a lot on this thread, but I don't remember seeing it before.

I agree that it is perfectly appropriate (and enjoyable for the rest of us) for an OP to come on here and vent about things they'd never say in public. It's just that this particular OP seems to not quite view the annoying house guest as an actual person. That's what's off-putting, for me anyway. Does anyone else truly sort their kids' friends into tiers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.

But instead of drawing boundaries or taking action like an adult with choices, options, language, OP decided to come here and complain about a teenager.

Eh, she’s not trying to shame the kid or make him feel bad, so she’s being internally annoyed and venting on an anonymous forum. Most of us would not try and “correct” an obnoxious guest...you just endure it for the sake of politeness.

You really think she's not letting her annoyance show to the guest? I am skeptical. Also, I don't think saying, "let's make sure everyone gets a fair share of the cookies" is impolite or correcting in the least.

He's 19. If OP is showing her annoyance to him, it's okay. He needs to realize his actions are indeed annoying and he needs to shape up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.

But instead of drawing boundaries or taking action like an adult with choices, options, language, OP decided to come here and complain about a teenager.

Eh, she’s not trying to shame the kid or make him feel bad, so she’s being internally annoyed and venting on an anonymous forum. Most of us would not try and “correct” an obnoxious guest...you just endure it for the sake of politeness.

You really think she's not letting her annoyance show to the guest? I am skeptical. Also, I don't think saying, "let's make sure everyone gets a fair share of the cookies" is impolite or correcting in the least.

Jesus. So now this guy needs to be protected from even a whiff of annoyance on OP’s part? I’m confused why there are such high standards for OP’s behavior, yet none whatsoever for the guest’s.

I wonder if OP had not mentioned that he was an obese third tier friend who tried to order filet mignon but instead talked about needing to vent about an unhelpful house guest who went through all of the family's supplies if this whole thread would have broken a different way.

Can't believe it has gone on for 11 pages.

I'm team OP.

I generally discourage my kids from being friends with those that are very overweight or downright obese.

I can't stand being around anyone who is that food-centric. They suck the fun out of things. My SIL is obese and only ever wants to eat at restaurants where you "get your money's worth" instead of nicer places. We went to a nice prix fixe meal for my MIL's bday in May and all SIL did was complain about portion sizes. "TWO SHRIMP? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" It was a 8 course meal and everyone else got full except for her, who kept complaining and then went to McDonald's on the way back to MIL's house for cake.

I also grew up with an overweight sister who refused to wear a bathing suit in public, so until I was old enough to go to the pool on my own or I found a friend's parent to take me, I didn't get to go swimming because my mom didn't think it was right to make her sit on the side or stay home alone. No beach trips either. No water park trips. When we went to a theme park, any ride that she may not have fit on, we didn't even attempt to ride for fear that she might be singled out and made to get off the ride in front of everyone. Instead of trying to help her lose weight, everyone just catered to her. Even she admitted this when she was older and finally lost the weight as an adult. She said she wished our parents had been more strict with her instead of bending over backward to accommodate her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.

Totally agree. OP has an oblivious, annoying kid with her on vacation...she just came here to vent. Some of the posts on this thread, like the ones trying to insinuate that OP must have an eating disorder, are truly bizarre.

He isn't even a kid! He is 19. His parents should have known how much their son eats and to send him with money to cover the costs of his meals/snacks.

Come on OP bashers - let's say I posted this thread.

"My 19 year old son was invited to a beach vacation with a friend from high school. He and the boy who invited him weren't super close but I'm glad my son will be able to get-away to the beach. My 19 year old eats EVERYTHING in sight and when we go out to eat, he always order steaks/filets.

When he goes on vacation with this friend and family, I don't need to give my son any money to cover the costs of food - right? He is the guest and I expect the family will cover all costs."

How would you respond to that post? Everyone would reply that she does indeed need to give her son money to cover the cost of his food! This is a case of bad home training and has turned that adult into an unappealing fat slob.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.

But instead of drawing boundaries or taking action like an adult with choices, options, language, OP decided to come here and complain about a teenager.

Eh, she’s not trying to shame the kid or make him feel bad, so she’s being internally annoyed and venting on an anonymous forum. Most of us would not try and “correct” an obnoxious guest...you just endure it for the sake of politeness.

You really think she's not letting her annoyance show to the guest? I am skeptical. Also, I don't think saying, "let's make sure everyone gets a fair share of the cookies" is impolite or correcting in the least.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.

But instead of drawing boundaries or taking action like an adult with choices, options, language, OP decided to come here and complain about a teenager.

Eh, she’s not trying to shame the kid or make him feel bad, so she’s being internally annoyed and venting on an anonymous forum. Most of us would not try and “correct” an obnoxious guest...you just endure it for the sake of politeness.

Anonymous wrote:Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.

But instead of drawing boundaries or taking action like an adult with choices, options, language, OP decided to come here and complain about a teenager.

I have teenage boys and this is how they eat. And who cares if used up a can of sunscreen? You're being petty.

Anonymous wrote:Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.

Totally agree. OP has an oblivious, annoying kid with her on vacation...she just came here to vent. Some of the posts on this thread, like the ones trying to insinuate that OP must have an eating disorder, are truly bizarre.

OP, your options are basically:

a) Say something to correct the behavior for the rest of the vacation. Communicate specific expectations about meals e.g., "For breakfast, there are 8 breakfast burritos and 8 of us. Everyone gets 1. If anyone feels like they need more breakfast, they can pick something up on the way to the beach themselves" or "Dinner tonight will be at XYZ restaurant. Everyone is allowed one entree, plus one appetizer or dessert. Entrees must be under $XX."

or

b) Suck it up for the rest of the vacation. Don't comment on or correct the behavior. Don't have an attitude. Afterward, communicate to your son that this person is not welcome to join family vacations again and that next time he brings a friend, that person is expected to contribute to the food budget.

Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.

Anonymous wrote:To summarize what OP said:

1. She can afford market fish
2. Friend is 3rd rate
3. Out of 3 dozen doughnuts, friend will eat 30
4. He used up the sunscreen
5. OP uses bad words

The kid will leave 6 doughnuts for you guys. That’s 5 for each of you and one to share! So chill.

I know right? OP sounds ungrateful