Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How is this party different than the thousands of galas thrown throughout the DC area raising money for many great causes. I attended one a few weeks ago and over $100,000 was raised for the NIH Children's Inn. I purchased an expensive dress and my husband wore his tux. We all drank and ate and had a great time. All to raise money to help families of sick people. Should I have declined this invitation and just donated the money I would have spent on my dress? My table was already paid for. But if I declined, I would not have been there to purchase the auction items or make my large donation during he raise the paddle portion of the live auction. You see how these parties work to raise money? Like another PP said, why can't it be a win win? If it weren't for all of these parties, these organizations would be severely struggling. So get over it!

Yes. Plus the money you spent during the raise the paddle portion of the live auction (whatever that is).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How is this party different than the thousands of galas thrown throughout the DC area raising money for many great causes. I attended one a few weeks ago and over $100,000 was raised for the NIH Children's Inn. I purchased an expensive dress and my husband wore his tux. We all drank and ate and had a great time. All to raise money to help families of sick people. Should I have declined this invitation and just donated the money I would have spent on my dress? My table was already paid for. But if I declined, I would not have been there to purchase the auction items or make my large donation during he raise the paddle portion of the live auction. You see how these parties work to raise money? Like another PP said, why can't it be a win win? If it weren't for all of these parties, these organizations would be severely struggling. So get over it!

Yes. Plus the money you spent during the raise the paddle portion of the live auction (whatever that is).

Anonymous wrote:

How is this party different than the thousands of galas thrown throughout the DC area raising money for many great causes. I attended one a few weeks ago and over $100,000 was raised for the NIH Children's Inn. I purchased an expensive dress and my husband wore his tux. We all drank and ate and had a great time. All to raise money to help families of sick people. Should I have declined this invitation and just donated the money I would have spent on my dress? My table was already paid for. But if I declined, I would not have been there to purchase the auction items or make my large donation during he raise the paddle portion of the live auction. You see how these parties work to raise money? Like another PP said, why can't it be a win win? If it weren't for all of these parties, these organizations would be severely struggling. So get over it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it when people throw money at a societal issue and think they are having meaningful impact without actually engaging the community they purport to support.

I’m a former DBCR teacher and this whole thread is intriguing to me. On one hand, I totally get that raising money (and a substantial amount at that) is extremely necessary to keep the school running (the students working only earn about half of what a school-running tuition would cost—the rest needs to be made up through donations, endowments, charity events like this party, etc.).

But, man, the juxtaposition of wealthy (majority white) middle schoolers going to a party called a “white party” (I know... attire... I know...) to raise money for DBCR students (who are of color) is jarring. I mean the DBCR uniform is even black!

What the pp said above really resonated with me while reading though this entire thread. While obviously the school and the students need funding (I mean hey thanks for paying my $38,000/year salary! Also weird that I got paid due in part to middle schoolers attending a party), doing so in ways like this seems... detached? Tone deaf? Alienating? Weird? How many people concerned about this “charity” actually step foot in the school and interact with the students and teachers there? And the few that do (DBCR becomes like a pet project for some wealthy people) can be nauseatingly tone deaf. Examples: A group of young women gigging nervously saying things like, “awww, these students are so CUUUUTE!” (to students’ faces, of course), a wealthy white man literally PATTING A STUDENT ON THE HEAD and saying, “well aren’t you something?”, a white women asked a student giving a tour if he learned how to speak “such proper English! Wow!” at the school, etc.

I think another pp used the word “icky” to describe what this kind of a fundraiser feels like. I tend to agree—it makes the students into a “feel good” project but it does little to teach empathy or—really—just normal social behavior/decency when we’re around people that don’t look like us (or are of the same socioeconomic class). I think that’s an even more important take away than just feeling good about helping “poor kids,” right?

I don’t know. Donate and party if you want, but I do think the other side of this thing is something worth considering.

Anonymous wrote:So white kids wearing white is criticized but a non-white school using a black uniform is not? Must everything black or white be tied to or labeled with race?

A bunch of kids want to have a dance. They decide to send the money to a charitable cause. It becomes very popular because, well - junior high kids really like to go to dances and try to meet cute boys/girls because that’s what junior high kids think about. The kids hosting all happen to be from areas that are demographically very white. Thus their friend group (likely the first ones to buy tickets) and their schools echo those demographics. What can you do about that? Force quotas? Bus other kids in?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it when people throw money at a societal issue and think they are having meaningful impact without actually engaging the community they purport to support.

I’m a former DBCR teacher and this whole thread is intriguing to me. On one hand, I totally get that raising money (and a substantial amount at that) is extremely necessary to keep the school running (the students working only earn about half of what a school-running tuition would cost—the rest needs to be made up through donations, endowments, charity events like this party, etc.).

But, man, the juxtaposition of wealthy (majority white) middle schoolers going to a party called a “white party” (I know... attire... I know...) to raise money for DBCR students (who are of color) is jarring. I mean the DBCR uniform is even black!

What the pp said above really resonated with me while reading though this entire thread. While obviously the school and the students need funding (I mean hey thanks for paying my $38,000/year salary! Also weird that I got paid due in part to middle schoolers attending a party), doing so in ways like this seems... detached? Tone deaf? Alienating? Weird? How many people concerned about this “charity” actually step foot in the school and interact with the students and teachers there? And the few that do (DBCR becomes like a pet project for some wealthy people) can be nauseatingly tone deaf. Examples: A group of young women gigging nervously saying things like, “awww, these students are so CUUUUTE!” (to students’ faces, of course), a wealthy white man literally PATTING A STUDENT ON THE HEAD and saying, “well aren’t you something?”, a white women asked a student giving a tour if he learned how to speak “such proper English! Wow!” at the school, etc.

I think another pp used the word “icky” to describe what this kind of a fundraiser feels like. I tend to agree—it makes the students into a “feel good” project but it does little to teach empathy or—really—just normal social behavior/decency when we’re around people that don’t look like us (or are of the same socioeconomic class). I think that’s an even more important take away than just feeling good about helping “poor kids,” right?

I don’t know. Donate and party if you want, but I do think the other side of this thing is something worth considering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a white party?

Ironic name for an event held at a place that was famous for it's history of segregation.

OMG get a life. It refers to tire - guests only wear white.

Please tell me this is a typo and you know it's "attire". Please.

Yes, of course. Typing on my phone and the "at-" disappeared. Do you all not realize that most of the typos on DCUM are due to typing skills/fat fingers not stupid people? A "your" instead of "you're" or a "there" instead of "their" is one thing. A mis-spelled word or obviously missing letters is another entirely. Come on....

how do letters disappear? Also, I think not proofreading anything you type, no matter where it's being seen, is kind of a mark of stupid, so I disagree. I do think it's cute that you think people aren't stupid though, how nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a white party?

Ironic name for an event held at a place that was famous for it's history of segregation.

OMG get a life. It refers to tire - guests only wear white.

Please tell me this is a typo and you know it's "attire". Please.

Yes, of course. Typing on my phone and the "at-" disappeared. Do you all not realize that most of the typos on DCUM are due to typing skills/fat fingers not stupid people? A "your" instead of "you're" or a "there" instead of "their" is one thing. A mis-spelled word or obviously missing letters is another entirely. Come on....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it when people throw money at a societal issue and think they are having meaningful impact without actually engaging the community they purport to support.

I’m a former DBCR teacher and this whole thread is intriguing to me. On one hand, I totally get that raising money (and a substantial amount at that) is extremely necessary to keep the school running (the students working only earn about half of what a school-running tuition would cost—the rest needs to be made up through donations, endowments, charity events like this party, etc.).

But, man, the juxtaposition of wealthy (majority white) middle schoolers going to a party called a “white party” (I know... attire... I know...) to raise money for DBCR students (who are of color) is jarring. I mean the DBCR uniform is even black!

What the pp said above really resonated with me while reading though this entire thread. While obviously the school and the students need funding (I mean hey thanks for paying my $38,000/year salary! Also weird that I got paid due in part to middle schoolers attending a party), doing so in ways like this seems... detached? Tone deaf? Alienating? Weird? How many people concerned about this “charity” actually step foot in the school and interact with the students and teachers there? And the few that do (DBCR becomes like a pet project for some wealthy people) can be nauseatingly tone deaf. Examples: A group of young women gigging nervously saying things like, “awww, these students are so CUUUUTE!” (to students’ faces, of course), a wealthy white man literally PATTING A STUDENT ON THE HEAD and saying, “well aren’t you something?”, a white women asked a student giving a tour if he learned how to speak “such proper English! Wow!” at the school, etc.

I think another pp used the word “icky” to describe what this kind of a fundraiser feels like. I tend to agree—it makes the students into a “feel good” project but it does little to teach empathy or—really—just normal social behavior/decency when we’re around people that don’t look like us (or are of the same socioeconomic class). I think that’s an even more important take away than just feeling good about helping “poor kids,” right?

I don’t know. Donate and party if you want, but I do think the other side of this thing is something worth considering.

Anonymous wrote:I think if the school was /is uncomfortable with it l, they should be the ones saying something. I really do understand all the points raised here. However, if philanthropy like this dries up, and when they’re older it’ll be galas,,etc. then there will be a lot less money going to important needs. I guess the kids could’ve just had a party? I’ve held many fundraising events st my home. People attend largely due to the social aspect of it. And I know that. They’re not coming for the food at 1k a plate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it when people throw money at a societal issue and think they are having meaningful impact without actually engaging the community they purport to support.

I’m a former DBCR teacher and this whole thread is intriguing to me. On one hand, I totally get that raising money (and a substantial amount at that) is extremely necessary to keep the school running (the students working only earn about half of what a school-running tuition would cost—the rest needs to be made up through donations, endowments, charity events like this party, etc.).

But, man, the juxtaposition of wealthy (majority white) middle schoolers going to a party called a “white party” (I know... attire... I know...) to raise money for DBCR students (who are of color) is jarring. I mean the DBCR uniform is even black!

What the pp said above really resonated with me while reading though this entire thread. While obviously the school and the students need funding (I mean hey thanks for paying my $38,000/year salary! Also weird that I got paid due in part to middle schoolers attending a party), doing so in ways like this seems... detached? Tone deaf? Alienating? Weird? How many people concerned about this “charity” actually step foot in the school and interact with the students and teachers there? And the few that do (DBCR becomes like a pet project for some wealthy people) can be nauseatingly tone deaf. Examples: A group of young women gigging nervously saying things like, “awww, these students are so CUUUUTE!” (to students’ faces, of course), a wealthy white man literally PATTING A STUDENT ON THE HEAD and saying, “well aren’t you something?”, a white women asked a student giving a tour if he learned how to speak “such proper English! Wow!” at the school, etc.

I think another pp used the word “icky” to describe what this kind of a fundraiser feels like. I tend to agree—it makes the students into a “feel good” project but it does little to teach empathy or—really—just normal social behavior/decency when we’re around people that don’t look like us (or are of the same socioeconomic class). I think that’s an even more important take away than just feeling good about helping “poor kids,” right?

I don’t know. Donate and party if you want, but I do think the other side of this thing is something worth considering.