Anonymous wrote:I would instruct my child to call her Grandma Ted.

Bonus points if he can get some of the other grandkids to call her that too. Maybe you even slip up and say it once or twice too.

If she objects or gets bent out of shape, just laugh and say “Well Theo doesn’t want to be called Ted either!” If she continues to call him Ted you continue too.

I like this idea.

OP, I'm jumping on to say that your MIL is a really terrible person. Who even pulls this kind of stunt with a little kid? She may not like his name, but it is not her place to give him a different name. I could maybe see something like her calling him "Teddy Bear" as an endearment, but now that he is 4, he knows his own mind about what he wants to be called. In no way should you give into this or try to make DS play along.

Your MIL is a bully and she has chosen her target. I hear you saying that FIL is a great guy, but he needs to step up and fix this situation or lose access to the child along with MIL.

This is the kind of thing that can mess up kid up. And I bet she has just gotten started, because she will pull more stunts as DS ages. I would draw a hard line in the sand right now. Either in MIL calls your son by his proper name or she loses access to him. Any reasonable family member would be on your side. DH needs to put his foot down big time.

Everyone should just start calling the grandma Ted in like a tongue in cheek, slightly passive aggressive way. But with a big smile!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Deliberately mis-using someone's name when they and their parents have asked you to stop is a fundamental form of dismissal and disrespect. No one treats our son that way. You either call him by his full name or by his preferred nickname, or you do not see him. Period."

Y'all are nuts.

+1. My Grandfather called me by a completely different name than my given name. He thought that was what I should have been named. Yes, he was a strong-willed and controlling person (or tried to be, anyway -- he rarely succeeded in getting everyone to do what he wanted, we were all pretty strong-willed, as well). Everyone laughed about it. Totally not a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call her the wrong name whenever she does it.

+1

Try f*ck face.

I suggested Grandma Bitch, but no one liked it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many crazy, confrontational posters on this thread.

Tell us about yourself pp. Why do you expect people to accept abuse? Do you think being assertive is bad or confrontational?

DP. I feel very sad for you that you think that OP's problem constitutes "abuse." I hope that you are in therapy and making progress.

Anonymous wrote:Call her the wrong name whenever she does it.

+1

Try f*ck face.