Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The woman should be solely responsible for this child. She CHOSE to have it as the result of a drunken one night stand. There is no redemption for her. She failed at the most important job of motherhood: having a good father for her child.

Ask me how I know.

Signed,
Fatherless child.

Sorry you're bitter / I see you're bringing your own baggage to this, but you've pretty much discounted everything you say with that second to last line. Annnnd either way, nothing you wrote is really relevant to OP's dilemma, because hey there's a kid here now and he's its dad and he has to decide how to handle it

He shouldn't have to "handle" it at all. Woman made her decision. It should be ALL on her.

I am the PP.

Okay, setting aside the issues of punishing the woman for decisions she and the OP made, the person who ultimately pays the most is the child. In the end, all of us pay if the child - innocent and entirely blameless in all of this - is raised in a home where there are deficits. ALL on her practically translates to ALL on the child, and then ALL on the rest of us.

Like PP wrote, your post is clearly influenced by your own experiences. Sorry those experiences have been so hurtful.

This happened to a good friend of DH. The mother didn't even know who the dad was- she slept with everyone in a frat house over a weekend.Many paternity tests. DH friend, drew the short straw. Attorney adv him-if you are going to pay, file for joint custody. At least you will get to know your son. Dad lived in MD , mom in NY- they exchanged son on NJ Turnpike 2x mo & he got month in summer and alternating holidays. Mother was BITTER, tried to tell son dad was no good. Fast forward 20 yrs- son has distant relationship with mom, great relationship w/dad. Dad found a woman divorced w/1 kid, got married & had 1 of their own, seem very happy now. So it can work out. Best of luck to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men should have a say in whether a woman gives birth to a child sired by him. I am a woman but I know women who have trapped men by getting pregnant.

I don't even know where to start.

Maybe she lives in the 1950s?

You will be less eligible. People are polite enough not to tell you that they would prefer not to deal with such baggage. But be honest. You might have to "settle" for a woman who has her own similar situation.